Don't Want to Need You
by Birdieq
Summary: Set about five and a half years after Derek arrived in Seattle. Addison never followed him there, and he hasn't seen or spoken to her since he left New York. But now he desperately needs help, and she may be his last chance. Will he swallow his pride and call her? Will she agree to help?
1. Chapter 1

"It's okay, pumpkin. It's okay." Derek is standing next to a crib in the pediatric oncology ward wiping vomit from his daughter's chin when the door opens. He and Meredith - she's resting in the rocking chair - both look up to see Doctor Byrne's grim face.

"Doctor Shepherd, Doctor Grey," she begins, "we got the results back. I'm afraid no one in your family is a close enough match."

Derek doesn't turn away from the oncologist, but he can tell by the hitch in Meredith's breathing that she's on the verge of crying. He gets it, he's close himself. "My mother, four sisters, nine nieces, and five nephews...and not one match? Nothing?" They're almost out of options, and he knows it - he and Meredith were tested first, and neither was a match, nor was Lexie. Meredith even asked her father and half-sister Molly to be tested, but neither came close to matching, and now his entire family had been ruled out as donors. "Okay, so now what?"

"Now we start looking for an unrelated donor. I'm sorry."

Derek wants to ask what the chances of finding an unrelated donor are, but Riley throws up again. He sons a fresh pair of gloves and cleans her up again before lifting the crying eighteen-month-old to his shoulder. When he looks up, the doctor is gone and Meredith is at his side, head against his shoulder, smoothing back what's left of their daughter's wispy, dark blonde hair. He puts his free arm around his wife and kisses her forehead, sharing her pain before his phone rings.

"That's Nancy," he announces, recognizing the ringtone. He passes the toddler to Meredith and wanders down to the waiting room to take the call. "Hey, Nance."

He can tell she's been crying. "Derek, we got the results back today. None of us-"

"Are a match," he finishes with a sigh. "I know, Doctor Byrne was just here."

"Derek, you need to call Addison."

"Nancy, I will hang up on you. You know I will."

"Derek, grow up! I know what she did was terrible, but you haven't exactly been a saint yourself. I get that you don't want to talk to her or see her, but it's not about you anymore, it's about Riley. It's time to swallow your pride. You call her, or I will," his sister threatens, then hangs up before he can.

He's sweating now, his heart racing. He hasn't seen or spoken to Addison since the night he found her in bed with Mark over five and a half years ago. She's called, texted, e-mailed, even gone so far as to send letters to the hospital - damn Richard for telling her he was there - but he has ignored her, deleted voicemail, e-mails, texts, thrown the mail away unopened. He would be perfectly content to keep it that way forever, but he knows that is no longer an option - not if he wants to keep his daughter this side of heaven. He just hopes he can keep both his wife and his little girl after he opens this can of worms.

He paces the room a few times, takes some deep breaths and tries to calm down before returning to Riley's room. Meredith is back in the rocker with Riley asleep on her chest. He grabs one of the plastic chairs by the window and sits in front of her. Looking in her eyes he takes her hand and swallows hard. "Mere, we need to talk."

…..

"Emme, sit down, please."

The not-quite-five-year-old defiantly clicks her tap shoes against the tile a few more times before sliding into the booth across from her mother. "Daddy's takin' too long," she whines as she scratches her belly, itchy in a purple, aqua and black sequined costume. "How much longer?"

"It's busy in here tonight, please be patient," Addison begs as she digs her phone out of her purse and opens the Angry Birds app. "Here, you can play for a few minutes," she offers, hoping to keep the girl occupied until Mark returns with their ice cream, Emmeline's treat for doing so well in her first dance recital.

Emme doesn't get far in the game before the phone rings. "Can I answer it?" the she asks. Addison looks at the name and quickly hits ignore. "Who was it, mama?"

"Nobody, baby. Just play your game." Addison tries to act calm, but her mind is racing. _What on earth does he want after all this time?_ She's still pondering it when the phone rings again.

"D...Der...Derek," Emmeline sounds before Addison hits ignore again. "Mama, who is Derek?"

"No one you know, Emme. Oh, look, here comes daddy."

Mark hands Addison her ice cream - cherry vanilla on a waffle cone - and sets a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough with hot fudge and rainbow sprinkles in front of Emmeline before sitting down. The little girl is shoving a spoonful into her mouth when the phone rings again. "Is it Derek?" she asks around the ice cream, hot fudge dribbling down her chin.

Mark turns to Addison so fast she thinks he might have whiplash. "Why is Derek calling you?"

She turns her phone off and throws it in her purse. "I don't know, but whatever it is can wait."

 **Okay, I know I have no right starting something new right now, but I'm doing it anyways. The idea popped into my head and needs to come out so I can focus on my other stories. This chapter is kinda short, but the rest will be longer.**


	2. Chapter 2

Emmeline is asleep by the time they get home. "Can you put her to bed?" Addison asks as Mark carries her inside. "I...I'm going to see what Derek wants." She waits until he's upstairs to turn her phone back on. Three missed calls, half a dozen text messages. _Why now?_

Finally she works up the nerve to dial, and is rewarded with her ex-husband practically screaming. "Jesus, Addison, don't you ever answer your phone?"

She can't believe he has the nerve to talk to her like that and goes from curious to defensive in no time flat. "Oh, really, Derek? You've ignored all my attempts at communication for _five and a half years_ , but I'm the bad guy for not wanting to answer your call in front of the child you refuse to acknowledge? I don't think so."

"I need her."

"Who, Derek? Use your words," she goads, as if he's an idiot.

He pauses. _What is her name?_ Richard let it slip, once. _Caroline? No, something with a E, I think. Emily? Emma? Dammit, what is it?_ "Your... _my_...daughter. I need her."

She senses the desperation in his voice. It's not enough to make her feel bad, but he definitely has her full attention. "Derek, what is going on here, and why the sudden change of heart?"

"I...my wife and I, we have a little girl. Riley, she's a year and a half, and she has leukemia. Chemo isn't working, and she needs a stem cell transplant, but we can't find a match. No one in my family or Meredith's is a match. I need our daughter to get tested."

"Seriously? Now she's _our_ daughter? I told you I was pregnant, and you just sent divorce papers! She needed a father, and you were nowhere to be found, but now you need something and I'm supposed to put her through a slew of medical procedures for someone she doesn't know? Sorry, Derek, but no."

"She's my kid. I'll get a lawyer."

"You do that," she spits before she hangs up. She's fuming, wondering how he has the gall to make such a demand, when a noise snaps her back to attention. She spins around to see Mark in the doorway, swaying side to side as their four-month-old wails in his arms.

"I think she's hungry. Lisa said she took a bottle around six."

"Oh, come here, sweet pea." Once offered a breast the baby instantly calms down. Addison tries to focus her attention on her tiny daughter, but she can feel Mark's gaze on her. "He has a little girl," she says softly, without looking up, as she traces the lines of Angelina's delicate little seashell ear. "She's only a year and a half, and she has leukemia. They can't find a donor, so he wants Emme to get tested. He doesn't even know her name, Mark! She's almost five years old and he's never shown any interest in her at all. She doesn't owe him anything! Does he really expect me to say yes?"

He shrugs. "I think that even after all these years he knows you well enough to expect you to call him back any minute now and say you changed your mind."

He knows her so well that she almost laughs. "It's not fair to Emme. You know how much she hates needles. Do you have any idea what she'll have to go through for a stem cell harvest? Why should I put her through that for a man who couldn't care less about her?" she rationalizes, even though she knows Mark is right.

"That's if she's a match. She's only a half sibling. What are the odds of her being a close enough match? Get her tested, most likely she won't be a match but you get to be the good guy because at least you tried."

She looks up at him sadly. "I don't think I'll ever be the good guy in his eyes. I could offer Emme up on a silver platter, and I'd still be nothing more than an adulterous whore."

"There are no good guys in this mess, Addison. Not you, not Derek, not me. We all screwed up. You're not the only guilty party, so stop beating yourself up over it."

"Not that it matters who's guilty. Riley is what matters. She's just a baby, and none of this is her fault. She shouldn't have to pay for our mistakes."

He smirks. "See? I knew you'd talk yourself into it."

Before she can respond her phone beeps. A text message from Derek. "Okay, now he's not,fighting fair." She passes the phone to Mark, revealing two photos. The first shows a smiling toddler in a yellow bathing suit and ladybug rain boots, splashing in a puddle. (If Addison's honest, she's a little surprised. Considering she's Derek's daughter, she's surprisingly...ordinary, just a mousy little thing with baby-fine, dirty blonde hair and squinty hazel eyes. Cute enough, but not the drop-dead gorgeous baby she expected.) Next is the same girl, looking pitiful in a tiny hospital gown that droops low enough to reveal the central line in her chest; her hair is all but gone, eyes underlined by dark circles, cheeks stained with tears. "How do I say no to that?"

She finishes nursing and burping the baby, then passes her back to Mark. "I'll be up in a little while," she calls as he heads back upstairs. She dials Derek, and isn't at all surprised when he answers on the first ring. "That was low."

"Yeah, well, I'm desperate so I don't feel too bad about it. Especially since it worked."

"I didn't say yes."

"But you will. You wouldn't have called if you weren't going to say yes."

He's lucky there's a continent separating them, because he sounds so smug she could throttle him. "But why, Derek?"

"Because my baby is sick-"

"No. I get _that_. But...why did you wait five years? Why didn't you want to know your _other_ baby? I understand why you're mad at me, but that's not her fault. She had nothing to do with that mess. She deserved better."

He pauses for a minute. "I didn't believe you, at first. I thought you said it just to get me back. Then Nancy called, said you really were pregnant, and all I could think was that it might not even be mine. For all I know, she actually could _his_ kid."

"Derek, that night was the first time I slept with Mark. I didn't know it yet, but I was already four weeks along. I can tell you the night I got pregnant. It was the night of the hospital fundraiser. I was wearing that-"

"Red dress. With the low-cut back."

"Because you always liked me in red. It had been so long since we'd had sex, I don't even know how many months, and I was hoping…"

"And it worked." She can tell he's smiling on the other end, and probably hating himself for it. It doesn't last long, though, and he's sullen when he speaks again. "But still, how was I supposed to know? It could have been Mark's kid."

"You could have asked for a paternity test! And what about the pictures? Look at her! There's no doubt who her father is!"

Now he sounds guilty. "I...I never saw any pictures. I deleted your emails and text messages without looking at them. Anything you sent to the hospital, I threw away. Never opened anything. I moved on, Addison. I was happy with Meredith. A kid would have complicated things."

"Well, you know what? You missed out, because she's amazing."

"So, can you send a picture now?"

She hangs up, and a minute later he's staring at a little girl that is unmistakably Shepherd, wearing a fancy, lavender party dress and gold shoes. She has Addison's lanky frame, all spindly arms and legs, hands and feet she'll have to grow into, and also Addison's alluring, long-lashed eyes that aren't quite blue, but aren't exactly gray either, but he recognizes the almost-black hair tumbling in thick waves halfway down her back, the round little face and wide, toothy grin. He stares for a minute, then calls Addison back. "She looks like-"

"Amy."

He nods. "She has your eyes, but I can't...there's no denying her."

"No shit. Pity it took you so long to figure it out."

"What's her name?"

"Emme. Emmeline Beatrice Shepherd."

"You named her after your mother?"

"If you answered your phone five years ago we could have named her after _your_ mother…"

"But you hate Bizzy."

"Yeah, well, you also hate Bizzy."

 _Typical passive-aggressive Addison. Well played._ "Okay, then. But she's...a Shepherd?"

"You're listed on the birth certificate as her father. I thought you'd come around, eventually…"

"What's she like?"

"Derek, it's late, and I have an early surgery tomorrow. I'll call in the morning and schedule the test."

"Please, Addie? Just tell me a little about her."

"Derek, you had five years to ask about her. The only reason you called is because you need her help. I'm allowing it, because that baby doesn't deserve to suffer for your actions, but if you want more than that, if you actually want to get to know her and be a part of her life, you're gonna have to work for it. You waited five years, you can wait a little longer because now I'm the one who needs to think things through. Goodnight, Derek."

…..

A week and a half later, they're on a plane - in first class, of course - waiting to take off. The flight has already been delayed an hour due to the weather, but they've been assured that they should be in the air shortly. Addison is sitting next to Emmeline, while Mark is across the aisle with two-year-old Cecelia next to him and the baby asleep on his chest. "Mama, why are we goin' to Seattle?" Emmeline asks for the dozenth time, at least. She's nervous, fidgeting in her seat and playing with the gold bangles dangling from her mother's wrist.

"Because my...friend-"

"Derek. That used to live in New York, and went to doctor school with you."

"Yes, Derek. His little girl-"

"Riley. She has leukemia."

Addison takes a deep breath and reminds herself to be patient. "Yes, Riley has leukemia, and you have something very special in your blood that can save her."

"Like a superhero, huh?"

"Just like a superhero."

"I need a cape. Like a superhero." The girl pauses, gnawing on a thumbnail while she thinks. "But, mama? I don't like flying. It makes me feel yucky."

"I know, baby, but remember you took your medicine so hopefully you won't get an upset tummy this time."

"Yeah." She inspects her nail starts biting again, but Addison pulls her thumb away from her mouth and hands her a lollipop, which pacifies her for all of thirty seconds before she tugs on Addison's sleeve. Her eyes are glistening when she looks up at her mother. "Mama, I don't like needles, either. I don't want the needles."

The tremble in her little girl's voice brings tears to Addison's eyes. "Oh, I know love bug, but it'll only hurt for a minute. You want to help Riley get better, right?" She turns on her phone, pulls up the picture of Riley in the hospital, and shows it to Emmeline again. _Guilt-tripping a four-year-old. If I wasn't going to hell already, I'm definitely going now._ "You need the needles so you can help Riley get strong and healthy again, remember?"

Emmeline sniffles and wipes her nose on the sleeve of her denim shirt dress before Addison can grab a tissue. "But you'll hold my hand? The whole time?"

"Of course I will. And when you're all done we'll go to the toy store and you can pick out anything you want for being such a brave girl." _Bribery, excellent. You're really on a roll today._

The girl is poised to ask another question, but the pilot chooses that moment to announce that they are finally ready to take off, which is enough to distract Emmeline. Addison thanks her lucky stars, because she has enough anxiety of her own; she's not sure how much more of Emmeline's she can handle without a strong drink.

 **Boom. There it is, for those of you wondering how Addison could be a donor. She can't (I mean, technically she could, though the odds of her being an unrelated match are pretty slim) but her child with Derek could.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for the reviews! Patsy, I don't like to give things away but I will go out on a limb here and say I think you'll be pleased with the way things turn out. SarcasticAlexWilliams, thank you for appreciating the children's names! It took me forever to get that sorted out, but I think they all work nicely.**

"Remind me again why we're doing this."

Derek and Meredith are in the restaurant at the Archfield Hotel, sitting at opposite ends of the table - Meredith is acting civil for the sake of their daughter, but she's still a bit upset that he failed to mention his ex-wife, who he was still technically married to when they started dating, and daughter for five years - waiting for Addison, Mark, and the children.

"Because they're saving our daughter's life. We have to be nice to them."

"But why is Mark coming? He has nothing to do with this."

"Because he's married to Addison? And maybe because travelling alone with three kids under the age of five is a nightmare?"

"Well, we don't need three kids. We need Addison and Emme. He could have stayed home with the other two."

"Okay, Derek, grow up! Addison agreed to the stem cell harvest, so if she needs her husband and three kids with her, I'm okay with that. Hell, she could bring ten kids, five dogs, a couple cats, and a partridge in a pear tree for all I care! They're saving our daughter, so I need you to get over yourself already."

"Why are you defending her? You don't even know her!"

"Because she's allowing her daughter to go through a medical procedure that doesn't sound particularly fun for the sake of our daughter," Meredith says slowly, as if she can't believe how thick he is. "She's putting aside the fact that you've been a jerk for five years. How bad can she be?"

"Oh, she's great...til she sleeps with your best friend."

"Well, I really don't think she's Cristina's type, so I'm good. Now stop sulking!"

"I'm not sulking. I just think Addison and Emme could have come alone and just met us at the hospital. Riley shouldn't be alone."

"She's not alone. Cristina is with her."

"Cristina isn't us."

"It's dinner, not a freakin' two-week vacation. Meet your daughter, act nice for a couple hours, and we'll be back at the hospital before you know it. Now shut up before I strangle you with your tie."

Derek opens his mouth to argue but thinks better of it, and they sit in awkward silence for a few more minutes until Meredith's eyes go wide. "Oh my God. Is that them? Derek, why didn't you tell me your ex-wife is a freakin' supermodel? Look at them! They're all perfect!" she squeaks out, feeling woefully inadequate.

He turns slowly and confirms that it is, indeed, his ex-wife and former best friend approaching them. He stands up and takes in the sight with a wary sigh.

Addison is as flawless as ever in an aqua silk blouse, black pencil skirt, and black heels - Louboutins, he can tell from the red soles - with her hair pulled back in an elegant twist. Mark looks straight from a page of GQ in his designer suit and tie, and the three girls are undeniably adorable in their matching attire. Their dresses are a starchy white and pink floral cotton, with Peter Pan collars, smocked bodices, and wide pink sashes - tastefully timeless, and no doubt expensive. Ruffled socks, pink mary janes, white cardigans, and big pink hair bows round out the ensemble.

Emmeline is pouting as she clings to Addison's leg. Mark has the baby in a pink carrier on his chest - she's hidden aside from her downy, copper curls, but there's no reason to believe she's anything short of stunning - and a golden-haired toddler on his hip. Like her big sister she, too, has Addison's distinct eyes, though they're staring at him from behind tiny, pink-framed glasses that magnify them to almost cartoon-like proportions. If it was anyone else's child he'd have to admit the effect is ridiculously adorable but right now, he's deriving an admittedly immature sense of pleasure from the fact that at least one of Addison's children is somewhat less than perfect. He pushes the thought away, tells himself to be nice, but now Meredith is waving and cooing at the curly-haired sprite and when she grins back he has to look away because it's a smile he's known since he was a little boy, and had hoped never to see again.

He doesn't have long to dwell on it, though, because his ex-wife is thrusting a hand out to his wife. "You must be Meredith," she greets warmly, and Derek barely suppresses an eye roll. "I'm Addison. This is Mark, Emmeline, Cecilia, and Angelina."

"They're beautiful. We're so glad you could make it."

"I didn't think we were going to, after that flight," Addison admits as she squats down to Emmeline's level. "Emme, honey, can you say hi? This is Riley's mommy and daddy."

The girl pulls reluctantly pulls away from Addison and offers a mumbled greeting to Meredith, then turns to Derek; before she can say anything to him she doubles over and retches, splattering his shoes with vomit.

"So much for good first impressions," Mark cracks with a deep laugh before Addison silences him with a savage side-eye.

"She gets motion sickness, and the flight was really rough," Addison explains with no hint of an apology as she scans the area for a restroom.

"It's back there," Meredith informs her as she points to the far left corner of the restaurant. "You, um, you need a hand?" she asks Mark as Addison hurries off, an employee hastily cleans up the mess, and Derek swipes angrily at his shoes with his handkerchief.

"That would be great, thanks." Mark holds out Cecilia, who willingly goes to Meredith and babbles excitedly as she reaches for Meredith's chunky beaded necklace. "Hey, no pulling," he scolds gently as he pries her little fist off of it.

"Oh, don't worry. It's kid-tested, trust me."

Mark digs through the diaper bag and pulls out a cloth high chair cover, which he arranges before taking the toddler back and getting her settled in the high chair with a sippy cup, a handful of goldfish crackers and some small toys.

A waitress appears and asks if they're ready to order; they make their drink selections and order some appetizers, but decide to wait until Addison returns to order dinner. "Maybe I should check on them," Meredith finally suggests. She makes her way to the bathroom and cringes at the sounds coming from one of the stalls, but a few minutes later it's quiet. "Everything okay?"

Addison peeks out of the stall. "Oh, Meredith. Yeah, we're fine," she assures the younger woman before turning her attention back to Emmeline. "You all done now?" she asks gently, and the girl must have nodded because they emerge from the stall. Addison picks her up and sits her on the counter, then starts cleaning her up with a damp paper towel. "I'm so sorry about this. It really was a terrible flight - we hit turbulence halfway through, then had to circle for two hours before we could land...not even a double dose of Dramamine was going to help with that. The ferry ride wasn't so great either. I thought she was feeling better, but apparently not."

"It's no big deal, really. We're...we're used to puke these days. As long as she's okay, that's all that matters," Meredith insists, earning her a sympathetic smile from the redhead.

"How is she?"

"Honestly, not good. She's constantly vomiting, her poor little tushie is raw from the diarrhea, her mouth is covered in sores...she's a mess."

"Poor honey. It's so hard when they're sick." Addison frowns and takes Emmeline's face in her hands. "You're okay now?" The girl nods, and Addison kisses her forehead before scooping her up. "Okay then, I guess we've kept them long enough. You think everyone is still alive out there?"

Meredith chuckles. "They better be! I warned Derek multiple times to be on his best behavior."

"Yeah, well, I warned Mark too, but sometimes I think the two year old listens better than he does."

More laughter. "I'd believe it."

Luckily everything is calm when they get back to the table. Mark and Derek are sitting in stony silence, while Cecilia waves merrily to the other diners. Angelina, now awake, is taking everything in with wide, blue eyes and gnawing on a teething ring. "Oh, look at you! Aren't you beautiful?" Meredith chirps as she holds her hands out. Mark relinquishes the baby and Meredith cuddles her as she sits down. "I miss Riley being this little. And the new baby smell."

"Don't get any ideas," Derek warns lightly before noticing Emmeline staring at him; her color is better now, and she looks less grumpy than before. He offers her a small smile, which she briefly returns before speaking up.

"Um, Mister Derek?"

"Yes, Miss Emmeline?"

"Um, I'm sorry I threw up on your shoes. It was a accident."

His mood lightens and he has to laugh at her solemn expression. "It's okay. My little girl throws up on me sometimes, too."

"Riley?" He nods. "She's sick." He nods again as he watches her twist her napkin anxiously in her pale, slender hands. "An' I gotta get needles to make her better. I don't like needles," she announces with an emphatic shake of her head, "but I'm gonna be brave like a superhero, an' mommy's gonna hold my hand the whole time, an' then when it's all done we're gonna go to the toy store an' I can get anything I want."

Addison waits for Emmeline to finish, then shoots Derek an apologetic glance. "Sorry. She, um, she rambles when she's nervous."

"Yeah, well, she reminds me of someone," he teases.

"Hey! I don't ramble!"

He laughs and holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm not naming any names!"

The waitress comes to take their order, and soon the adults fall into conversation that is only slightly awkward - bordering on friendly, even, if somewhat forced on Derek's part - as they eat. Things go smoothly until halfway through the meal, when all he'll breaks loose. Emmeline whines that she doesn't like her pasta dish, the baby - who had been blissfully silent on Meredith's lap until then - starts wailing at the top of her lungs, and Cecilia goes red-faced and silent before grunting and filling her diaper rather noisily.

"Okay, I think that's our cue to leave," Addison quips dryly as she reaches for Angelina.

"Come on, you haven't even finished eating," Derek points out.

"Yeah, don't go. I can change her if you want," Meredith offers, "and I'm sure they can get something else for Emme."

"No, we should go," Addison insists, avoiding the dirty looks from other diners as the baby's cries get louder and Cecilia joins in. "It's almost ten o'clock, New York time. They should have been in bed hours ago. This was...maybe not the best idea. We should try again another time when they're not jet lagged and cranky."

"Yeah, let's do that," Meredith agrees as she helps Addison collect everything they came with.

Mark grabs his wallet and pulls out a few bills, but Derek stops him. "Keep it. It's on us."

"It was our idea to meet here. This place isn't exactly cheap," Mark argues. "Besides, I believe we owe you for a new pair of shoes." He can't keep from snickering at the thought.

"It's fine, really. We...appreciate you being here," _some more than others,_ he thinks, "and we're the ones that owe you. I mean it."

Mark shrugs. "If you insist. Alright, stinky pants. Let's get out of here. Emme, come on."

The four-year-old is reaching for Addison, who has her arms full with Angelina and the diaper bag. "Mama, up."

"Emme, I can't. We're only going to the elevator over there, and upstairs."

"But I'm too tired to walk!" the girl wails before bursting into tears.

Mark shifts Cecilia and squats down. "Okay, love bug. Come with daddy."

Just like that, Derek's good mood dissipates. The man that slept with _his_ wife, referring to himself as _his_ daughter's daddy? He turns away and signals for the waitress to bring the check.

"Well, they seem...nice," Meredith says tentatively once the bill is paid and they're heading to the car.

"Yeah, real nice," he spits. "That asshole calls himself her daddy. _My_ daughter. Not his."

"Derek, what do you expect? He's been there for five years. You weren't there. You don't get a say in it."

"Oh, I'll get a say in it. Just wait until I file for custody."

"Derek! What has gotten into you? You can't take that little girl away from her mother and sisters!"

"Watch me."

"Cut it out! No judge in their right mind would agree to that. Besides, we have enough on our plate right now. Just worry about Riley and leave that poor kid alone. End of discussion."

Upstairs, Addison nurses the baby and changes her while Mark gets the other two ready for bed. Finally all three are asleep, leaving the adults to fall into bed exhausted. "Well, that...could have gone worse," Addison says.

"Yeah. But did you see Derek's face when Emme barfed on him? Oh man that was the greatest," Mark replied, howling with laughter. "I really thought he was going to lose it."

"He won't lose it. There's too much riding on this." Addison kisses Mark and turns out the light, hoping for an uninterrupted night of sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys. Confession time. Just in case I fooled some of you into thinking I'm a half decent writer, I feel the need to point out that I, in fact, am not. I have no idea how to do this. I always know where I'm starting, and where I want to end up, but all the in-between stuff? Basically a free-for-all. I just wing it, with no real planning or anything, and sometimes it just flows. But other times...well, other times I leave you hanging for days because I can't get my shit together, and then you end up with long, rambling chapters like this that maybe aren't even necessary but idk what to do so here it is. Sorry.**

While leaving the hospital the next morning after spending the night with Riley, Meredith hears a commotion coming from just outside the entrance. Curious, she peeks out and finds none other than Addison attempting to convince Emmeline, who is face down on the pavement, to stand up. "Emme, come on. We're going to be late. Please get up."

The child is wailing. "I don't wanna! I don't like needles! I'm not goin'!"

"Emme, come on. We've been over this. It's only one needle today. You have to do it for Riley. Get up, please." Emmeline ignores her, so finally Addison bends over and attempts to lift her, spilling her purse and dropping the little Minnie Mouse tote bag that had been slung over one shoulder in the process; a Merida doll, some books, and a handful of tiny, plastic princesses tumble out of the bag. "Please, Emme, I'm not in the mood for this right now."

Meredith jumps in. "You look like you could use some help," she notes as she starts gathering the scattered items. "Flying solo today?"

"Yeah. We're still on New York time. Cece was awake at four o'clock, which means we were _all_ up at four o'clock, so of course now they're all ready for naps-"

Emmeline stops crying and lifts her head long enough to yell at her mother. "I don't need a nap!"

"Oh, she needs a nap more than anyone," Addison whispers to Meredith with an eye roll. "But anyways, Mark stayed at the hotel with the little ones so they can sleep. He's going to try to get here later, when we meet with the doctor to go over the game plan."

Meredith takes Addison's purse and Emmeline's tote while Addison manages to lift the angry ball of flailing limbs. "Where to first?"

"Bloodwork first, then a physical, then a chest x-ray, and last - if I haven't strangled her by then - an electrocardiogram. I'm hoping since we're starting with the worst, things will only get better from there."

Together they walk to the first appointment, Meredith leading the way. "This is it," she announces outside the door as she hands over the purse and tote. "I spent the night with Riley,so I'm going home to shower and sleep in a real bed for a few hours, but I'll be back this afternoon. Good luck."

"Thanks, I'll need it." Addison braces herself before lugging the still-struggling child inside.

…..

It's quarter to three by the time they finish up. They're supposed to meet with the doctor at four-thirty to go over the results, leaving them plenty of time for a long-overdue lunch; they're in the cafeteria trying to decide what to eat, but Emmeline's attitude hasn't improved any and Addison is at her wit's end.

"I _want_ a green juice!" the four-year-old repeats for the third time, stomping her food for emphasis.

"Baby, they don't _have_ any green juice here-"

"Then go get some!"

"Honey, we don't have the car. Remember, we took a cab so daddy can have the car? Plus I don't even know where to get green juice around here. But when we're all done talking to the doctor we'll find somewhere to get one, on the way back to the hotel. I promise."

"But I want it _now!_ " The last word is stretched out to at least a half dozen syllables, and followed by a primal scream that turns just about every head in the room and morphs into a fit of jagged, gasping sobs.

"Emme, _please_ don't do this," Addison begs as her cheeks burn bright red. "How about chocolate milk?" she offers. It's a rare treat, not usually allowed at home, and she hopes it's enticing enough to end the tantrum. It isn't, but the timely arrival of Meredith is.

The girl is a hot, soupy mess, tears pouring down her flushed cheeks and nose running like a faucet, when Meredith squats down in front of her. "Hey now, what's all this fuss about?"

"Mama's mean! She won't get me green juice. I just want a green juice!"

Meredith raises her eyebrows at Addison. "Seriously? Green juice?" Addison just shrugs. "Okay, you know what, sweetie? There's a place right down the street that has green juice. If you calm down and tell your mommy what else you want for lunch, I'll go get you a green juice. Deal?"

"Meredith, you don-"

"I want to," Meredith insists before turning back to Emmeline. "We got a deal?"

Emmeline sniffs and drags the sleeve of her purple sweater dress across her nose before giving a shaky reply. "O...okay."

"Okay. Good girl." Meredith ruffles the girl's hair and hurries off. By the time she returns, mother and daughter are at a table. Addison's working on a salad while Emmeline scarfs down grilled chicken, steamed broccoli, and baby carrots with hummus. "Here you go, sweetie." She sets the juice in front of Emmeline, earning a huge grin and a squealed _thank you!_ from the girl, before taking a seat across from Addison. "Okay, you need to share your secrets, because all my kid wants to eat is chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and sometimes bananas."

Addison laughs. "Hey, at least bananas are healthy! Honestly, Mark and I just never got sucked into the trap of serving 'kid food.' They eat what we eat, and they have no clue what they're missing out on. That's how it was when I was a kid, and that's how we do it."

"Yeah, okay, Super Mom," Meredith chides. "So, I take it today didn't go so well?"

"It was a _nightmare_. It took three nurses plus me to hold her down for the bloodwork, and she still managed to move so the nurse blew out her vein and had to stick her again in the other arm. The physical was relatively painless - not for the pediatrician, because she kicked him in the shin _and_ bit him, but at least she didn't cry - but then she completely flipped out and had to be sedated for the chest x-ray and EKG, which I really didn't see that coming, because she had an x-ray a couple months ago when she fell off the monkey bars at school and hurt her arm, and she did fine. She always gets nervous about going to the doctor, but this was...I've never seen her like this before. I was this close," she holds her thumb and index finger a fraction of an inch apart, "from losing it. More than once. Oh, I could just choke her. But she's way beyond overtired, we haven't had a chance to eat all day until now, and she's a nervous wreck about the shots and the stem cell harvest...you can't really blame her for being out of sorts, so then I get mad at _myself_ for being mad at _her_ , and think I'm the world's worst parent...but I'm rambling. I'm sorry, I know you have more than enough to worry about already..."

"No, it's fine. I know how you feel. Riley used to be the best sleeper. She went down with no problems, slept through the night...then, a few weeks before she was diagnosed, everything changed. She was fussy, and clingy, and it took forever to get her down. And then she'd be up three or four times during the night. That went on night, after night, after night, and finally we just let her cry it out because nothing else we tried worked and we were exhausted, and it didn't seem like anything was wrong. Then we started noticing other symptoms and took her to the doctor...I felt like the worst mother ever. My poor baby was crying because she didn't feel good, and we ignored her because we thought she was just being a brat, or going through a phase or whatever. I can't stop wondering if she would have responded better to the chemo if we'd taken her in sooner."

Addison reaches across the table to squeeze Meredith's hand. "You didn't know, Meredith. There was no way you could have known anything was wrong if she wasn't showing any symptoms. And a week or two probably wouldn't have made any difference." She pauses and looks at Emmeline, who had nearly cleaned her plate and is now fighting sleep, still clutching her half-empty juice as her head bobs up and down. "Well, I'd love to just let her nap right now, but I'm afraid then she'll be up half the night and she'll never get over the jet lag. I suppose I really should wake her up."

"Yeah, you probably should. Hey, I'm going upstairs to see Riley, you want to come? Maybe Emme would like to meet her."

"I don't know, she's been so crabby today I'm afraid she might act out…"

"Oh, she'll be fine. If she gets ugly you don't have to stay, but I'm sure Derek would like to see her and it would be a nice distraction for Riley to have another kid around for a little while."

"I guess it's worth a shot. Why not? Emme, baby, wake up. You want to go meet Riley?"

Emmeline sits up and rubs her eyes. "I wanna go home."

"I know, but we can't go yet. Let's go say hi to Riley." Emmeline doesn't look thrilled, but she allows Addison to pick her up without a fight.

…..

"Hey, look who I found!" Meredith announces cheerfully as she slides open the door to Riley's room. Riley is snuggled up to Derek, sucking contentedly on a pacifier and pointing to things in the book he's reading to her; her little bald head is covered with a knit cap that looks like a fox face, and Addison is fairly certain she's going to die from cuteness overload. She's about to say something to the girl but Derek speaks first and totally kills the first trace of a good mood she's felt all day.

"So, _daddy_ isn't here today?" he observes before he can stop himself.

"Derek!"

"Derek, I have one nerve left. You really want to get on it? Do you? Because if you do, we can leave right now, and go back to New York..."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, please, don't go. Stay." Truthfully, he'd like nothing more than for Addison to leave - except, perhaps, to hear that both Addison and Mark have fallen off the face of the earth altogether - but if she goes, Emmeline goes, and he can't afford that right now.

Meredith takes Emmeline's hand and leads her over to Derek and Riley. "Riley, this is Emme. Can you say hi?" Riley whines and turns to bury her face in Derek's chest. "Oh, come on Ri. How about you show Emme the new babies grammy sent you?" She holds out two plush Frozen toddler dolls, which Riley snatches. She holds one out to Emmeline, but as soon as Emmeline reaches for it she whines again and clutches it to her chest. "Riley, that's not nice. Can you share with Emme?"

"It's okay, I have a doll too." Emmeline returns to Addison's side and gets the Merida doll from her bag. "This is Merida. You want to see her?"

Mesmerized, Riley drops her dolls and reaches out for Emmeline's. Emmeline passes it over without hesitation, and doesn't even complain when the toddler starts tugging on the bright red curls.

Meredith melts. "Aw, that's so sweet."

"Well, I'm shocked, because she doesn't even let Cece touch that doll."

After a few minutes Riley thumps the book in Derek's hand and says something that would have sounded like _dada, read_ if not for the pacifier in her mouth. Derek laughs. "Okay, okay. You're the boss. Emme, would you like to read with us?" He pats his vacant leg and Emmeline looks at Addison, who nods.

"Okay."

Clearly Riley isn't thrilled about sharing her father because she reaches over to swat Emmeline, but Derek catches her hand. "No hitting, princess. Be nice or daddy won't read," he warns before letting go. She makes a few more attempts but eventually snuggles into Derek and he picks up where he'd left off.

"She's not usually like that, you know," Meredith offers up lamely, convinced Addison probably thinks she's raising a brat.

"She's a baby, and she's sick. She's allowed to be crabby. And Emme has plenty of practice with crabby baby sisters, trust me. Besides, it's nothing compared to the show Emme put on today, so don't feel bad."

The women chat while Derek reads until they hear the door open and turn around to find Cristina. "Oh, Cristina! You're here already?"

"You told me to be here at four twenty, so here I am," Cristina points out before noticing the extra child on Derek's lap. "Holy mini-McDreamy!"

Meredith elbows her in the ribs. "Cristina!"

"What? She looks just like him!" Cristina whispers before Meredith silences her with a glare. "Okay, whatever. Give me the kid and go do your thing but hurry up."

"Emme, we have to go. Say goodbye to Riley."

Emmeline says goodbye and tries to take her doll back, but Riley protests loudly so she backs off. "It's okay, she can borrow it," she offers as she glances from Derek to Meredith to her mother, waiting to be scolded for making the baby cry.

"Oh, sweetie, that's very nice of you, but she has enough dolls," Meredith insists as she pries the doll from Riley's hands, afraid the toddler has already done enough damage to it. Once the doll is back with its rightful owner she takes Riley from Derek and passes her to Cristina.

"Oh, no. No no no. You can't leave her with me like this!"

"She'll be fine. Just read to her. Bye baby! Mommy and daddy will be back soon!" Meredith kisses Riley and before Cristina can protest they're all leaving, hurrying to the conference room.

They're just getting settled when Mark appears with Cecilia and Angelina in a stroller. Derek rolls his eyes and exhales loudly. "He's here? I thought he wasn't here today."

Meredith kicks him under the table. "Be nice!" she orders between gritted teeth.

"He wasn't nice when he slept with my wife!" he hisses back.

Mark doesn't say anything, but if the smirk on his face is any indication, he's amused that he can get such a rise out of his former friend just by showing up. He lifts Cecilia from the stroller and is about to sit at the table with her when Addison, who just barely managed to bite her tongue through Derek's complaints, stops him.

"Oh, hold on, honey."

Derek watches as Addison pulls a package of disinfecting wipes from the diaper bag and scrubs the table before Mark allows the toddler to touch it. He can't suppress another eyeroll. "Of course you're _that_ mother."

"Not that it's any of your business, but she's a 25-weeker. Bronchopulmonary dysplasia, spent two and a half months on a vent, and an unrepaired ASD to boot. The common cold could put her in the hospital for a week, so yes, I'm _that_ mom." He averts his gaze as she stares him down. "Any other petty critiques of my parenting skills you'd like to get out of the way, or is that it?"

He averts his gaze as he mumbles his reply. "No, that's it."

"Mama, I wanna go home. When can we go?" Emmeline whines as as Cecilia fidgets on Mark's lap.

"Soon. We're waiting for the doctor, and when she's done talking we can go." Addison knows that the overtired preschooler and restless toddler - never mind the sleeping baby who could wake at any minute - are ticking time bombs, so she digs through the diaper bag for something to distract them and comes up with a couple of coloring books. She gives one to each girl and sets a tub of crayons between them.

Emmeline gets to work coloring in a picture of Elsa and Anna with painstaking precision, the kind that requires one to stick one's tongue out and furrow one's brows in concentration. Addison plants a kiss on the top of her head before scooping up the baby who isn't quite awake but starting to stir.

Cecilia fists a magenta crayon and starts scribbling, screeching as the book slides around. Meredith observes with curiosity as Mark gently pries open her other hand and speaks to the toddler in a low, calm voice. "Easy, killer. You gotta use lefty to hold the book down, remember? Like this." She watches as he works hand-over-hand with the girl, his patience seemingly endless despite her frustration, until he glances up and sees her staring; she quickly turns away, wondering if she has an overactive imagination, or…

Suddenly the doctor enters, a whirlwind of papers and cheerful apologies for her tardiness. "Hi, I'm Doctor Rasgotra. I've already met Doctor Shepherd and Doctor Grey, so you must be Doctor Montgomery and Doctor Sloan. Sorry I'm late, the lab was running behind with Emmeline's bloodwork but the good news is, everything is just fine. She is in excellent health, and cleared to proceed with the harvest." She pauses to shake hands with Mark and Addison, then takes a seat and organizes her files before looking up with a warm smile. "Now, I know from our phone call that you preferred to do the peripheral blood stem cell harvest over a bone marrow aspiration. You still thinking that's the way to go?" She waits for them to both nod. "Okay, great. I agree that that's the best option for both parties involved. Now, to get started Emmeline will require a series of subcutaneous filgrastim injections, once a day for fi-"

"Cee, shhhhhh," Mark shushes as Cecelia squirms and fusses in his arms.

"Dada, get _down!"_

"No, you're not getting down. Here, drink your juice." He hands her a sippy cup before looking up. "Sorry. Carry on."

"She will need five filgrastim injections to mobilize the stem cells, once daily. They should be given around the same time every morning, and you can alternate between her buttocks, thi-"

"We're doctors. We know how to give subcutaneous injections," Mark interrupts.

"Yes, of course. Now, there are some side effects-"

"We know-"

"Doctor Sloan, with all due respect you are parents right now, not doctors, and I am required to disclose all potential complications. The side effects of the filgrastim are typically mild and may include a tingling in the lips and mouth, cramps in the hands, feet, legs and stomach, bone pain, fatigue and chills. More serious side effects are _extremely_ rare but include fainting, vomiting, air embolus, and unusual bleeding - including blood in the urine or vomit - and should be reported immediately.

Day five of the injections will also be day one of the harvest. I ask that Emmeline not be given anything to eat after eight the night before, and nothing to drink after midnight. You'll need to arrive at the hospital early that morning. We will give her an IV sedative to place a PICC line - I know, you're doctors, you know what a PICC line is - under fluoroscopy up in radiology, and then she'll be transported to the apheresis unit. As soon as the sedative wears off she'll be free to eat, so go ahead and bring any favorite snacks and drinks."

Cecilia starts whining again. "Dada, change. I wet."

"We're almost done, baby. Just be quiet for a few more minutes."

"You know what? We really don't need you here, so why don't you take your kid and get out of here so the rest of us can give Doctor Rasgotra our full attention instead of being interrupted every two minutes"

"Derek!"

"Why don't you just mind your own business?"

"Mark…"

"Gentlemen! We're almost finished here, if I may continue. Now, one or both of you can stay with Emmeline during the apheresis, though it's a small room so you may not want to bring the little ones."

"How long will the harvest take?"

"That depends. In order to do the transplant we need a _minimum_ of one to two million stem cells per kilogram of the recipient's weight, though the _ideal_ number is five to ten million...the more we get, the faster Riley's blood counts will recover. Emmeline will be hooked up to the machine for three to five hours, depending on how well she tolerates it, and we'll repeat the process for two to five days. Everyone reacts differently to the filgrastim, so it's impossible to say for sure how many days it will take.

She may experience some numbness, tingling, or chills during the procedure. This is due to the small dose of an anti-coagulant needed to prevent blood from clotting in the machine and is completely harmless. Some patients experience nausea and vomiting, but that is rare."

"Cee, hush." By now a full-on tantrum is brewing, and the baby is starting to fuss as well. Addison hastily offers a breast to quiet her, while Mark gets up and paces the room, bouncing Cecilia in an attempt to distract her. Derek rubs his temples and exhales loudly; Meredith watches Mark out of the corner of her eye and catches a glimpse of something that may confirm her suspicions from earlier.

"Okay, we've gone over the harvest. Now, what about Riley?" Derek asks once the little ones are somewhat quiet. "When does she get the transplant?"

"Obviously that depends on how long it takes to collect a sufficient number of stem cells. We will start her on the high-dose chemotherapy and total body irradiation this week to completely kill off her bone marrow and immune system, so that she's ready for transplant as soon as we have enough stem cells. Depending on how many we get it may take several days to,complete the transplant. Now, I know we've already discussed the transplant process, what to expect, possible side effects, so if you don't have any questions I think we're finished."

Derek and Meredith exchange glances and shrug. "I think we're all set. Thank you, Doctor Rasgotra." Derek shakes hands with the doctor, then turns to his wife. "I better go rescue Cristina before she's not your friend any more. You coming?"

"I'll be up in a few minutes."

Once he's gone she turns to Addison. "So, Derek is on Riley duty tonight. You want to come over after the kids are in bed? I have wine. And tequila."

Addison laughs. "As tempting as that is after this fiasco, I think Mark's been holed up alone with the hooligans long enough. Maybe another night?"

"Sure. I'll see you around."


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow, thank you all for the reviews! Glad to see so many people enjoying this so far. I'm a little surprised that some of you are predicting a Mark/Meredith hookup...hate to disappoint but Maddison and Merder are endgame. There is enough going on without any infidelity! I love that you guys are looking forward to Addison/Meredith tequila bonding...not happening in this chapter, but there will be a girls' night in the near future.**

As Addison, Mark, and the children leave the hospital, Meredith joins Derek in oncology. Riley is about to doze off on his lap when she enters the room, but holds her arms out. "Mama!"

"Oh, there's my girl. I missed you!" She takes Riley from Derek, and he gets up so she can sit in the rocking chair. "So, how was she today?"

"About the same. The doctor changed her anti-nausea med, seems to be working a little better than the other one. She ate a little macaroni and cheese for lunch and kept it down."

"That's good." Meredith rocked for a while until Riley fell asleep, then passed her to him so he could put her to bed. "Derek, are you happy?" she asked when he turned back around.

"Am I happy? My baby has leukemia, and I just celebrated the fact that she ate three whole bites of mac and cheese without puking. Yeah, I'm happy. Over the moon, really. Thanks for asking."

The sarcasm isn't lost in her. "I don't mean right now. Just...in general. Are you happy here in Seattle with me and Riley?"

"Of course I am. Why would you even ask that?"

"Then why does it bother you so much to see Addison with Mark? You're happy, so why can't they be happy?"

"Oh, God. This again?" He pauses and runs a hand through his hair, which is long overdue for a trim. "I walked in on Mark screwing my wife. In my own bed! How can you be on their side?"

"I'm not on anyone's side! Actually...I'm on Riley's side, so I need you to at least be civil before they back out, because if they do, and she doesn't get the transplant…"

"Fine. I can be civil. But I'm not doing dinner, going out for drinks...we're not friends. I don't like them-"

"You don't have to like them, but we need them, so you need to be nice!"

"I don't _want_ to need them, Meredith! This is killing me. They destroyed me, and it is killing me to know that I need them to save my little girl when I want nothing to do with them ever again."

Meredith paused for a minute. "I ran into Addison and Emme this morning, as I was leaving," she finally said. "And again in the cafeteria, before we came up here. Emme's really struggling with this. She's terrified. You think it's easy for Addison and Mark to put her through this when it doesn't benefit her one bit? Because it isn't. It's hard. But they're here, and they're doing it. Would they be here if they're really such terrible people? They're putting their child-"

" _My_ child."

"No, Derek, not _your_ child. You denied her existence for five years, and the only reason you finally acknowledged her is because Riley got sick. People don't do that to _their_ children! If you want to make amends and get to know her, great. But you're not going to do that by insulting her parents every chance you get, and you're certainly not going help Riley like that! I know they did a terrible thing, but if they hadn't, you wouldn't have us now. We're happy, so get over it, let them be happy, and show some appreciation for the fact that they're here. They could have stayed in New York for the procedure and had the stem cells sent here, but you wanted to meet Emmeline so they packed up the kids and came. They dropped everything and came. They have their own problems to worry about-"

"What problems? What line of bullshit is your new bff Addison feeding you?"

"She didn't _say_ anything. I just...I think we're not the only ones struggling, and it won't kill you to cut them some slack, okay? Just be nice. No more insults, no more snarky comments. Got it?"

He pauses and smirks at her. "Has anyone ever told you you're cute when you're mad?" he asks as he bends down to kiss her.

She hits him in the chests few times. "Don't pull that McDreamy crap on me! No kissing until you promise to be nice!"

"Oh, those tiny, ineffectual fists. You know how I feel about that..."

"Derek!"

"Okay, I promise! Now do I get kisses?"

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "You are incorrigible! One kiss! Then that's all you get until I see you being nice."

He smirks again before pulling her to her feet. "Well, I guess I better make that kiss worth it, then."

…..

Back at the hotel Mark and Addison order room service for dinner, bathe the kids, and put them to bed. As soon as they're asleep Addison collapses on the king size bed in the master suite, not even bothering to get undressed. "You look beat," Mark observes as he flops down next to her. "Rough day?"

"Oh, you have no idea. All those promises to be brave? Right out the window. She threw her first fit before we even made it through the door. Took four of us to hold her down for bloodwork, she bit the pediatrician, and they had to sedate her for the x-ray. It was...impressive. You missed a hell of a show. And then...then we met Riley, and she turned into the sweetest thing ever."

"You went to see Riley?"

"We were in the cafeteria. Emme was losing her shit because they didn't have green juice-"

"What is it with her and green juice? I don't get it."

"I don't know! But she was having a complete meltdown over it and then Meredith magically appeared, like some skinny little fairy godmother, and offered to go down the street to get green juice which, apparently, was all it took for Emme to stop acting like a rabid honey badger. We ended up talking, and then she asked if we wanted to meet Riley, so we did."

"She guilt-tripped you. Probably figured you wouldn't be able to back out after you saw the kid looking all sick and pathetic."

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know. She seems nice, though."

"Riley?"

"No, Meredith. Pay attention!"

"And how about Derek? I'm assuming he was there?"

"Obnoxious, as expected. To me, anyways. He was okay with Emme. Read a book with her and Riley, that's about it."

"He better not hurt her. Because if he does, I swear to God-"

"He won't hurt her. I'm sure he knows how stupid that would be right now. So, did you have a good day with the babies?"

He nods. "Cecilia napped until lunch time. We found a little deli a few blocks away, got soup and sandwiches, then we stopped at a playground on the way back, went on the swings until it started raining again. How do people live here with all this rain? People _actually_ like it here. It's... _weird_."

"Yeah, weird. Well, I'm gonna get ready for bed. Maybe we can get a few hours of sleep before someone wakes up…"

"Or we could do something else until someone wakes up…"

She raises an eyebrow and jabs him in the chest with her index finger. "Don't even try."

 **Okay, this is way shorter than the last chapter, but Meredith really needed to straighten Derek's ass out. Poor guy is in a rough spot right now, with his baby being sick AND having to see Mark and Addison for the first time since the affair, but still.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! Apologies for the delay, but I've been super busy since the end of last week and just now found enough time to finish this chapter up. Also, Spectrum internet sucks so I had trouble uploading. Sorry! Hopefully chapter 7 will be up faster.**

The next morning Addison wakes to the sound of Angelina fussing over the monitor as the first light of dawn streams through the window. She rolls over to check the time - 5:15 am - before hurrying to the other room. She scoops the baby up and just barely makes it back to the master suite before the fussing escalates.

"What time is it?" Mark grumbles as Addison climbs back in bed to nurse the baby.

Addison grins. "Quarter after five!"

"Not bad." Mark nods in approval as he pulls himself to a sitting position. "Look at you sleeping through the night like a big girl. Are you daddy's big girl? Yes, you are!" he coos at Angelina before stealing a kiss from his wife. "Wow, so this is what a full night of sleep feels like. I almost forgot after four months."

"More like five...remember the last month? I had to get up to pee two or three times a night. Let me tell you, I don't miss that!"

Addison finishes feeding the baby, then lays her on the bed between them. For nearly an hour they watch her play happily with her feet and delight in her little baby noises before another voice comes over the monitor. "Maaaa maaaa? Daaaa daaaa? Where you?"

Mark chuckles at what has become their middle daughter's typical wake-up call. "I'll get her."

"Thanks. Oh, get Emme's shot out of the fridge, please, so it can warm up."

He goes to the kitchenette and gets the syringe out, then creeps to the other bedroom and peeks in, eliciting a squeal from Cecilia. "Dada! Dere you are!"

He wrinkles his nose as he gets closer. "Aw, Cee, you stink!" he teases as grabs a diaper and wipes and plops down on the bed.

The little blonde shakes her head, sending tangled curls flying. "No, you 'tink! Dada 'tinky!" She flops back down on her pillow, laughing hysterically, and pinches her nose. "Pee-yew! 'tinky dada!"

"Oh, no. You're the stinky one!" He tugs her nightgown up and blows raspberries on her belly, sending her even further into hysteria, before untaping her diaper and fighting the urge to gag. "Aw, man, why you gotta do this to me? I thought you loved me."

She gazes adoringly at him with those big, blue Montgomery eyes and reaches up to pat his cheek. "Dada, I wub you."

He melts. "I love you too, baby girl." He makes quick work of the diaper change and scoops her up, kissing her cheeks; she giggles and squirms as his stubble tickles her face. Addison enters the room just as he's tying the offending diaper up in a plastic bag. "How can someone so small make so much of something so disgusting?" he asks as he tosses it out.

"I have no idea! I was about to ask the same thing. At least Cece kept hers contained." She spreads a changing mat out on the bed and grimaces as she unsnaps the baby's pajamas. "Oh yeah, this is going to require a bath."

"I can do it, if you want to get this one some breakfast," Mark offers as he passes Cecilia to Addison and picks Angelina up.

"You don't mind?"

"I don't mind." He glances over at the other bed, where Emmeline is still fast asleep. "How the heck did she sleep through all this noise?"

"She had a rough day yesterday, and she didn't sleep great the night before. She was beat, poor honey."

"Yeah, I guess so. Come on, Annie girl, let's get you cleaned up."

Half an hour later the baby is clean and Addison is wiping oatmeal off of Cecilia's face and hands when Emmeline bounces into the kitchen. "There's my sleepy head. Did you sleep well?"

Emmeline nods enthusiastically, her mood clearly improved from the day before. "What's for breakfast?"

"I can make you oatmeal or eggs, whichever you want. But first we have to do your shot."

This causes Emmeline to frown. "But I don't want a shot."

Addison brushes dark curls out of her daughter's face. "I know, but it's just one, and then you don't have any more shots or doctor's appointments for the rest of the day. If you're good we can go swimming right after breakfast."

The girl's face lights up. "Really? There's a pool here?"

"There is. Now come on, you can sit on my lap and daddy will do the shot. How does that sound?"

Addison sits on the couch and pulls Emmeline onto her lap. Mark pushes her nightgown up, squeezes her thigh, and is about to give the injection when she lets out a small whimper. She's shaking like a leaf and he looks up to see a single tear run down her cheek. "I can't do it."

"Mark! What do you mean you can't do it? You're a doctor!"

"I know, but I...can't. Trade places."

She shakes her head as she gets up. "You big softie." She waits for him to get settled before picking up the syringe and almost laughs; the two might not be blood relatives, but their expressions are identical - heads turned to the sid, eyes squeezed tightly shut, lips turned down at the corners. "Okay, on the count of three. One...two...three." Emmeline yelps and squeezes Mark's hand, but there are no more tears and Addison picks Emmeline up. "All done. Good job!"

Emmeline clings to her mother for a minute before she stops trembling. "Okay, now we can go swimming?"

"Breakfast first. You want eggs?" Emmeline nods. "Okay, go get your swimsuit on. Daddy will find it for you."

By the time the eggs are ready, Mark has all three girls in their matching bathing suits - aqua with bright pink flamingos and flouncy skirts. He detangles Cecilia's curls and pulls them into pigtails and Addison braids Emmeline's hair while she eats. After, she herds the two oldest into the bathroom and brushes Cecilia's teeth while supervising Emmeline as Mark gets changed, then leaves him to round up towels and floaties while she gets dressed. She's almost ready when her phone rings. _Derek_. "Derek? What's up?" she asks, her heart speeding up. "Is Riley okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine...well, as fine as she ever is these days. I was just...I was wondering if...if maybe I could see Emmeline? I know I saw her yesterday, but I was thinking we could meet up. No Mark, no other kids, just you, me and Emme..."

"No. I mean yes, eventually, but not yet."

"So, when? She's my daughter, I want to see her. Please?"

"Not yet. I think we need to work things out first, you and I."

"Okay, so when can we do that?"

"Well, I promised Richard I'd meet him for lunch at one. We could get together after."

"Okay, we can do that. Give me a call when you're done and we can meet in my office. If that works for you, of course…"

"Yeah, that's fine. Look, I gotta go. We're taking the girls to the pool and they're getting a little squirrelly."

"Oh, okay, yeah. Go. I'll see you later."

Down in the pool area, Addison catches Mark scowling at her as she removes her cover-up. "What?"

"What is _that?"_ He pouts as he points at the black one-piece swimsuit she's wearing. "Where's that red one you wore last summer?"

She frowns and self-consciously crosses her arms over her flat stomach. "The bikini? Last time I wore that I had a cute baby bump. Now all I have are stretch marks and those last five pounds I can't get rid of, so don't plan on seeing it any time soon...if ever again."

"Oh, come on, Red. You're still hot. And you're totally imagining those five pounds." He smirks and winks at her before squatting down to help Cecilia get her floaties on, then gets in the pool with her. Addison follows and sits on the steps with the baby, while Emmeline does a cannonball off the edge.

"Dada, I fimmin'! Yook at me!"

Mark watches Cecilia, feet kicking and right arm splashing wildly. "You are swimming! You're a little fishie."

"I Nemo."

"Yes, you are. Now use both arms. Come on, let's see that lucky fin. Good girl!"

Mark grins as he watches Cecilia, who is now babbling on about her favorite movie. He understands approximately half of it, at best, but loves every little bit of it. "I can't believe how much she's talking these days," he says proudly as he leans against the side of the pool next to Addison.

"I know. She's amazing, isn't she?" They pause to grin at each other. "So, Derek called while I was getting ready."

Mark's grin fades. "Oh yeah? What does he want?"

"He wants to meet Emme. Just me and her."

"After yesterday? No way. He can go f-"

"Mark!"

"Whatever. You told him no, right?"

"I told him not now. We're gonna meet after I have lunch with Richard, lay down,some ground rules…"

"When are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't know. I don't think we should say anything 'til after the harvest. She's already nervous enough about that, I think it would upset her too much."

"You think he'll go for that?"

She shrugs. "He will if he wants to see her."

They let the girls swim for a couple of hours until Cecilia is worn out and the baby is getting fussy. Mark changes Cecilia and puts her down for a nap while Addison feeds the baby and gets in the shower once she's asleep.

"So, I think I'll take Annie with me," she announces once she's dressed with her hair and makeup on. "That way you can take the girls back to the pool after lunch."

"Again?"

"They love it. And Emme won't be able to go in the water once the PICC line is in, so we might as well let her do it now. Besides, what else were you gonna do? I'm taking the car so it's not like you can go anywhere."

"All very true, o wise one," Mark concedes as he watches her dress Angelina, then leans in for a kiss. "Have fun. And don't take any shit from Derek."

…..

"Addison Montgomery, you haven't changed one bit!" Richard Webber states before kissing his former intern on the cheek. "And look at this little one. Did you actually clone yourself?"

She laughs. "Right? Only took three tries to get one that looks like me."

They get their food, find a table, and spend half an hour making small talk, getting caught up on each other's lives before he makes his true motive for inviting her to lunch known.

"So, Addison, I've been thinking. This hospital needs a new head of neonatal surgery."

She looks over at him and nearly chokes on the last bite of her salad. "Well, um, you don't mean, um...me, right?"

"I do." She laughs. "What's so funny? Addison, I am prepared to make you the highest-paid surgeon in this hospital. I want to expand the NICU, make it the top NICU in the country."

"Richard, I'm flattered, really I am. But I can't move out here."

"Addie, you don't have to decide right now. Think it over and get back to me."

"Richard, I can't! I told you I've cut back on my hours. And I can't move Cece out here. All her doctors and therapists are in New Y-"

"We have world-class doctors and an excellent outpatient therapy program here at Seattle Grace."

"She's scheduled for the ASD repair at the beginning of next month - fingers crossed she stays healthy until then so it isn't postponed _again_ \- and then she needs the tendon lengthening in her left foot, and we're looking into SDR-"

"Derek does the SDR procedure. Has a great track record…"

"No. No way. You weren't at the meeting yesterday but I swear to God he was mad at her, for no other reason than the fact that Mark is her father. No way is he cutting into her spinal cord."

"We have other neurosurgeons…"

"Our nanny won't move here. Her family is all in New York and her mother isn't well, so I know she won't leave."

"There are nannies in Seattle, you know."

"Lisa's been with us since Em was born. She knows everything about the girls. I can't hire a new nanny now!"

"We have a great daycare center on campus."

"Daycares are cesspools. I'm not putting Cece in one."

"Look, Addie, I don't need an answer now. Think about it for a few months, wait 'til after her surgery and get back to me. Just remember, I will make it well worth the effort."

"Well, even _if_ I was interested - and I'm not saying I am - what about Mark? He has his practice in New York."

"Addie, our head of plastics is retiring at the end of the year."

She leans back in her seat. She hadn't seen that coming. "Okay, then. Well, I will talk to Mark, but don't get your hopes up. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to meet Derek."

…..

Cristina, Alex, Izzie and George were on the other side of the cafeteria when a flash of red hair caught Cristina's eye. "Hey! Look, there's Satan! Over there, with the chief."

The rest of the residents turn to get a look. "She looks nice," George observes. "Oh, and look at the baby. She's cute."

"Yeah, well, McDreamy doesn't have anything good to say about her. He definitely doesn't think she's nice," Cristina informs him.

Alex snorts. "Are you kidding me? Who cares if she's _nice_? She looks _hot_. Fuck nice."

"Well, she _did_ cheat on McDreamy, so go for it. I'm sure she'll do you, too," Izzie adds with a snicker.

"Meredith says she's nice. She likes her."

"Oh, shut up, George. Meredith's kid is dying. She's clearly not thinking straight. She probably only said it 'cause Satan's evil spawn is Riley's last chance. She has to pretend to like her, at least until after the transplant. But we don't have to like her, and based on what Shepherd said, I don't."

George shrugs and goes back to eating. "There are two sides to every story…"


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so last night I had this crazy dream that I got over 10 reviews on my last chapter, and it made me so happy...then I woke up and it wasn't true and it made me a teeny, tiny bit sad. Aside from one chapter in Perfect Doesn't Last (which I** _ **will**_ **get back to eventually, I swear) that got 10 reviews, I seem to be stuck at 6-7 per chapter, tops. Sometimes less. I don't normally beg for reviews, but it would be cool to break 10 just once, so if you guys get me over 10 reviews on this chapter today, I will finish the next chapter and post it before I go to bed tonight. (And you want me to, believe me. It's the bonding-over-tequila chapter some of you have been looking forward to. It took a slightly different turn than I expected, but I like the way it's turning out…) If I don't break 10 reviews I'll post it...whenever I get around to finishing it. Might be tomorrow, might be next week, might be a month and a half from now. Who knows?**

Addison texts Derek as she leaves the cafeteria then heads towards his office. She knocks on the door and doesn't miss the look of disappointment that briefly crosses his face when he opens it.

"I thought it was just going to be us," he grumbles as he ushers her in.

"She's a baby, Derek. Who's she going to bother?" she snaps back as she brushes past him, drops the diaper bag and sinks into the chair in front of his desk. She scowls, having second thoughts as she hands over a large manila envelope she just dug out of the bag.

"What is this?" he asks as he eyes the envelope suspiciously.

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Derek, open it! It's just pictures. Not a goddamn bomb or anything."

"Oh." He opens the envelope and breaks into a smile. Emme at her first birthday party, her little lips a perfect 'o' as she daintily sticks one finger in her bright pink cake. Newborn Emme, yawning and tightly swaddled, with a shock of dark hair sticking straight up. Emme, around 2 or 3, he thinks, red-faced and screaming on Santa's lap. Emme, on what he guesses is her first day of pre-K, wearing a blue plaid jumper and knee socks, hair in two long braids and a tiny backpack hanging from her narrow shoulders. Emme, obviously quite recently, hamming it up in a purple and aqua costume and shiny black tap shoes. He shuffles through the stack - easily close to a hundred pictures, all precious moments he missed out on because of his foolish pride - and when he looks up his eyes are soft with gratitude - and maybe, she thinks, a bit of regret. "Thank you. These are...these are great."

"It isn't everything, those are just the ones I had extras of. I can make copies of the rest when we get back home."

"No, it's fine. This is amazing. So, what's she like? She looks happy. Well, most of the time." He laughs and holds up the Santa picture.

She laughs with him. "To this day she is terrified of anyone in costume. Pictures with Santa and the Easter Bunny don't happen. Disney World is out of the question - especially since she also gets motion sickness, as you saw the other night - for the foreseeable future. And Halloween...we don't go trick-or-treating."

"I will keep that in mind."

"Okay, she is - and please know I mean this in the most loving way possible - a bit of a chicken shit. She's also afraid of thunder - any loud noise, really - the dark, dogs, spiders...she already told you she's scared of needles. Blood makes her puke. She bites her nails when she's nervous - which is often.

She still wets the bed sometimes, and won't go to sleep without her blankie and her lamb...they are both ratty and disgusting, but she needs them and they are to be protected at all costs. She worries about _everything_. On her first day of dance class last fall she cried because she didn't know anybody, and because she was afraid she would mess up and everyone would laugh at her...but a week and a half ago she got up on stage like she owned the place and was the only one in her class that didn't mess up at all. She sings all the time. Whatever is on the radio, TV theme songs, commercial jingles...anything. Sometimes she makes stuff up. Unfortunately, she apparently gets her vocal abilities from me, but it doesn't stop her. I'm sorry.

She's not a picky eater and will try just about anything. Green juice is basically her favorite thing ever right now. I don't know why, but it is and it apparently has magical properties, just ask Meredith. She's not big on sweets - except ice cream - but loves anything salty. Popcorn is her favorite...but you gotta make it on the stove. That microwave crap gives you cancer. And watch her carefully, because popcorn is one of the leading causes of food-related choking in childr-"

"Do you ever wonder why she worries about everything?" he teases.

"Shut up. No one asked you. Anyways, she loves to help me cook which is good because it forces me to actually cook instead of ordering takeout every night. And no, I haven't given any of my kids food poisoning...yet."

He smirks, remembering the hot dog Thanksgiving, and tries to imagine his ex-wife cooking - something edible, no less - on a regular basis.

"She absolutely _adores_ babies, and is the best big sister ever. A couple months ago the little ones were hospitalized with RSV, and she cried herself to sleep every single night until they both came home. The first thing she wants to do when she gets home from preschool every day is hold Annie, and she is Cecilia's biggest cheerleader and protector. I'm sure she will just love Riley to pieces.

She's crazy smart. She's already starting to read. She just had her kindergarten screening, and the teacher wanted to skip her ahead to first grade. We said no, there's no need to rush anything, but we'll see how this year goes and revisit the possibility next year.

Her favorite movie is _Brave_ , her favorite princess is Merida-"

"Who's Merida?"

"Oh, give it a year or two. You'll know _all_ the princesses."

"Great."

"Her favorite color - this month, anyways - is aqua. Last month it was lime green, before that it was yellow. Her favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate chip cookie dough. She says she wants to be a baby doctor like me when she grows up, but given her reaction to blood, needles, just being in the general vicinity of any hospital or doctor's office...I'm not holding my breath. And that, in a nutshell, is Emmeline Beatrice Shepherd."

"She sounds amazing."

"She is amazing. She is perfect, and sweet, and so, so sensitive, and I swear to God, if you hurt her, if you make her cry, if you so much as look at her wrong, I will end you. I will kill you with my bare hands, and then I will bring you back and let Mark kill you. Got it?"

"Easy, now, Mama Bear…"

"I'm not joking, Derek. You have a lot to make up for, and if you mess this up-"

"I won't mess up, I swear. Have you told her yet? About me?

She shakes her head. "This is going to be...mind-blowing. And probably upsetting. She's already so worried about the shots, and the harvest, that I don't want to burden her with anything else yet. I thought maybe it would be best to let her get to know you, and tell her when it's all over."

"That sounds...reasonable." There is a hint of disappointment in his voice, but it doesn't appear that he's going to challenge her. "So, when can I see her?"

"Our schedule is wide open until she starts the harvest. You free tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow works. How about the aquarium?"

Addison nods. "I think she'd like that."

"Good. It's not that big, but it'll kill a couple hours. Then we can get lunch."

"Sounds great."

"I'll pick you two up at the hotel at ten, if that works for you."

"It does. So, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." He gets up and walks her to the door. "And...thank you. I know I don't deserve this."

…..

Addison gets back to find the hotel room empty. She feeds and changes the baby and is just putting her down for a nap when she hears the door open. "Hey, did you have fun in the pool?" she asks as she emerges from the bedroom.

Emmeline runs across the room and flings herself at Addison. "I'm all wrinkly, look!" she giggles.

Cecilia waves her hand and squeals as Mark carries her over to Addison. "Me too! Yook!"

"Oh, goodness, you are! Now, why don't we get you changed, and then you two can watch a movie for a while. When Angelina wakes up from her nap we can go out to dinner."

Mark gets Cecilia into dry clothes while Addison collects swimsuits and towels and hangs them in the bathroom to dry. She gets the girls settled on the couch with Finding Nemo - which Emmeline graciously agreed to to prevent a tantrum from her little sister - goldfish crackers, and juice boxes, then looks at Mark and nods towards their room.

"So, how did it go? Was he a total dick?" Mark asks once the door is closed.

"No, he was...nice. He seems excited to get to know Emme. He's taking us to the aquarium tomorrow."

Mark nods. "And he's okay with not telling Emme until after?"

"He seemed a little disappointed, but he agreed. Not like he really has a leg to stand on if he didn't. He messed up. The ball is in our court, and he plays by our rules."

"Yeah, you're right."

"So, Richard offered me a job."

"Get out of here! That's nuts."

"I know. It would be convenient, if things work out with Derek and Emme," she muses, "but it's not a good time for us to be moving across the country…"

"No, it isn't," he agrees.

"He did say their head of plastics is retiring at the end of the year, though."

"Really?"

She shrugs. "Yeah. I dunno, though. It's crazy. But he said to think about it."

…..

The next morning Angelina sleeps until almost six o'clock. By the time Addison gets to the girls' room Emmeline is reaching through the crib bars, rubbing her sister's back and talking softly to her. "Hey. Did she wake you up?" She bends down to kiss her oldest daughter before picking the baby up. "It's early yet, you can go back to bed if you want."

"Nah, I'm not tired." She trails Addison back to the master suite and climbs into bed between her parents. "Can we go back to the pool today?" she asks, leaning against Addison and playing with the baby's bright curls as she nurses.

"Actually, you and I are going somewhere today."

Emmeline looks up with fear in her eyes. "Not the hospital, right?"

"No, not the hospital. You don't have to go back there for three more days yet. We're going to the aquarium after breakfast."

Emmeline looks confused. "Just us? Not daddy or Cece or Annie?"

"No, just us. And...Derek."

"Riley's dad? How come?"

Addison and Mark exchange a glance. "Well...um...he's just really happy that you're being so brave and helping Riley, so he wanted to do something nice for you."

"Oh, okay." They both let out a sigh of relief that she seems to accept that explanation.

…..

A few hours later Addison and Emmeline are waiting in the lobby when Derek texts Addison to let her know he's outside. He shakes his head and laughs as they emerge, Addison in charcoal gray slacks, a short-sleeved purple satin top, and her usual heels, and Emme in a pink and navy toile dress - no doubt just as expensive as the one she had worn to dinner the other night - and mary janes, a big, navy bow holding her hair back from her face. "It's only the aquarium, not high tea with the queen," he teases while Addison gets Emmeline buckled into the back seat.

"I like my girls I look nice," Addison says as she climbs into the front seat. "Besides, the days where I get to pick her clothes are limited. She's already forming opinions on fashion and I'm enjoying my power while it lasts."

He pulls away from the curb and turns on a kids' station Riley likes; soon Emmeline is singing along to something from the latest Disney movie, and Derek is trying not to laugh. "I warned you," Addison reminds him.

"I know. But it's...cute." He glances at her reflection in the rearview mirror and grins.

Soon they reach their destination. They're barely through the gate before Emmeline is sniffing. "Hey! They have popcorn. Can we get some?"

Before Addison can answer Derek is reaching for Emme's hand. "You know what? I love popcorn too." He buys a tub for them to share and a lemonade for each of them before they move along to the sea bird exhibit.

"Look at that one!" Emme squeals, pointing to a small, black and white bird with a bright orange beak and feet. She studies a placard near the exhibit. "It's a puh...puh...puffin!"

Derek squats down next to her. "That's right, it is a puffin. That's Riley's favorite bird to see when we come here."

"Riley likes to come here?"

He nods. "She does."

She notices the sadness that comes over his face and pats his shoulder. "Maybe when she gets better we can all come here."

"I think that would be nice." He smiles and tugs on one of her braids before standing up. After a while they move along to the sea mammal exhibit. He lifts her onto his shoulders to give her a better view of the seals and otters and grins when she knots her fingers in his hair the same way Riley always does.

Suddenly she points. "Mommy, look! The otters are holding hands, just like you an' daddy! I think they're in looooooove!" She makes an exaggerated kissing noise and they both laugh.

They make their way through the aquarium, eventually ending up at the tide pools. Derek sits next to Emmeline as they peer into the water. "Look, there's a starfish! An' this is a hermit crab," she informs him as she picks up a shell. "We had those at school."

"Look over there. That's a sea cucumber."

She turns to him with hands on her hips. "That is _not_ a cucumber."

"It's a _sea_ cucumber."

She wrinkles her nose. "Well, it doesn't look very tasty."

With nothing else to see they enter the gift shop. Emmeline makes a beeline for a large stuffed otter. "Mommy, can I get this?" she begs. "Please?"

"Emme, that won't fit in your suitcase when we go home. Besides, you have a ton of stuffed animals. How about a book? See, they have one about otters."

"No, I want this! You said I can pick out any toy I want at the toy store for helping Riley. Can't I get this instead?"

"I said we'll go to the toy store when we get back to New York so we don't have to pack anything. Put it back and pick something smaller."

Emmeline pouts but puts the otter down. Addison sees Derek make a move for it and shoots him a _don't you dare_ glare, so he backs down. Eventually Emme talks Addison into a book and a couple of small plastic animals, but gets distracted by a stuffed puffin on their way to the register. "Mommy, can I-"

"I told you no stuffed animals. Put it back."

"No, for Riley. Derek said puffins are her favorite!"

Of course both adults melt at that and Addison gives in. "Yes, you can get that for Riley. That's very sweet of you." She hands Emmeline a few bills, and they watch as she marches up to the register and pays for her treasures.

"She really is a great kid," Derek says. "I'm sorry I missed almost five years of this."

Addison nods in agreement. "Yeah, me too." Before she can say anything else Emme comes running back with her bags and a fistful of change. Addison lets her keep the quarters and puts the rest back in her purse.

"Why don't we go get some lunch. Are you hungry?" Derek asks as he takes Emme's hand.

"I am! I am!"

"I know the perfect spot." They get back in the car and he drives to Pike Place Market, which happens to be in walking distance of the hospital. They settle on a family-friendly seafood restaurant, and Emmeline wastes no time in opening the regular menu, shoving aside the kids' menu the waitress brings.

After a few minutes of contemplation she makes her selection. "I want this," she announces, pointing to a meal with lobster rolls, corn on the cob, boiled new potatoes and coleslaw.

"That's lobster on there," Derek points out, thinking she might change her mind.

"Oh, I just _love_ lobster," she informs him dramatically, making both of them laugh.

"The kid has good taste."

"I told you she'll eat just about anything."

When the food arrives Emme inspects Addison's salad. "No sea cucumbers," she announces, evidently satisfied. "Just regular ones." She turns her attention to her own plate, and polishes off three-quarters of it before giving up. "That's it. I am just _stuffed._ "

She sits quietly flipping through her new book while the adults finish eating. When they're done Derek suggests going to visit Riley, to which Emmeline readily agrees. "An' I can give her her present!"

"Hey! We have visitors," Derek announces cheerfully as he opens the door to Riley's room to find his daughter wailing as Meredith paces the room with her. "Aww, what's the matter?" he coos as he takes Riley from his wife and cuddles her.

"She's just not having a very good day," Meredith sighs before bending down to Emme's level. "I heard you were going to the aquarium today! Did you have fun?"

"Yeah! Seals, an' otters, an' all kinds of fish an' birds...an' _sea cucumbers_. But they're not vegetables. Oh, an' we got Riley a present!" She holds the gift shop bag up proudly.

"You did? That was very nice of you."

Addison picks Emme up. "Riley, look what we got for you!" Emme says in a sing-song voice as she pulls the bird out of the bag. "It's a puffin, 'cause your daddy said that's your favorite."

Riley stops crying and grabs the toy, and a collective _aww_ fills the room as she giggles and buries her face in the soft fur. Suddenly Emme tugs on Derek's sleeve. "Hey, maybe she would like my book. Can you read it to us?"

Derek is all too happy to oblige, and sits down with a girl on each knee. Soon both girls are engrossed in the book; Emme is fascinated with the facts about otters, while Riley is more interested in the pictures.

"You look like you could use some coffee. Let's give them some alone time," Addison suggests to Meredith, and they walk to the coffee cart where she pays for a coffee for Meredith and hot cocoa for herself.

"So, it's Derek's night to stay. We're drinking tonight," Meredith announces after downing half the coffee.

"I shouldn't…"

"I'm not taking no for an answer. Come after the girls are in bed. Mark will be fine," Meredith insists, and Addison gives in. They slowly make their way back upstairs, where Derek looks very content with his girls snuggled up to him. "Oh, come on. How cute are they?" Meredith gushes as they peer through the glass door. "I know we've said it before, but we really, _really_ appreciate you being here. It means a lot to us."

Addison puts an arm around Meredith's shoulders. "We're happy to help. And I'm glad Emme is getting to know Derek. They really hit it off today."

Meredith laughs. "I had a feeling. He sent me this." She pulls out her phone and shows Addison a selfie he'd taken when Emme was on his shoulders; they're wearing identical grins, their dark hair blowing in the breeze.

They watch, unnoticed by Derek and the girls, for a few more minutes, but suddenly Riley's nose is gushing blood and Emme is turning green and they rush inside. Addison pulls Emme away while Meredith relieves Derek of the book and stuffed animal and Derek grabs a wad of tissues to press to Riley's nose.

"It's okay, baby, just don't look," Addison tells Emme as the girl bends over, hands on her knees and gagging. "Take a deep breath. Come on. Deep breaths. It's okay. You're alright." She rubs Emme's back, thankful that she manages not to vomit.

"You okay?" Meredith asks gently a few minutes later, and Emme nods. "It's okay. She's all better now."

"How come she was bleedin' like that?"

"It's from the leukemia. It just happens sometimes."

"Oh. So that's why I gotta help her?"

"Yeah, that's why."

"Well, I think we better get going," Addison announces, and Derek stands up. "Stay. I can call a cab," she offers.

"No, it's fine. I need to run home for a few things anyways."

They get back to the hotel and Addison helps Emme out of the car, then picks her up to look in the front window. "Honey, tell Derek thank you."

Emme grins and waves. "Bye Derek! Thank you for taking us to the aquarium and to lunch!"

"You're very welcome. I hope we can hang out again soon."

They don't even make it to the elevator before Addison gets a text from Derek.

 _Thank you. :)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow. You guys are** _ **rockstar**_ **reviewers! 12 reviews, and it's only 8:23! I thought** _ **maybe**_ **there was a chance** **I'd get over the hump right before midnight and have to pull something out of my ass, but you surprised me and nailed me with reviews right off the bat so I've been writing away! I guess teasing you with new chapters is the way to go…**

 **To the guest inquiring about Riley's age, she is a year and a half old. And to all of you feeling sorry for her...UGH, ME TOO! Why would I do that to a baby? Sorry I'm a jerk - BUT nobody is leaving, and nobody is dying (I promise) so forgive me?**

 **To AFoolishMortal, there will be brief appearances by the interns (occasionally longer ones, like this chapter) but this is about the Sloan and Shepherd families so there won't be a major focus on the interns.**

 **To Lala, Mark and Emme are very close! Maybe it hasn't come across as much as I'd like because he always has his hands full with the babies but rest assured that even though Emme likes Derek, he will never replace Mark in her heart!**

 **To those of you thinking Meredith is hiding her dark and twisty for the sake of Riley...DING DING DING! You all get cookies for that.**

"There's my girls!" Mark says happily as Addison and Emme enter the room. "How was the aquarium?"

"It was so cool!" Emmeline waits for Mark to hand the baby to Addison before reaching out to be picked up. "We should go some time. You would like it, daddy."

"Oh yeah? Is it as cool as the one we went to when we were in Boston?"

Emme thinks for a minute as he sinks down on the couch, and snuggles into his chest. "Well, it's not as big. But it's still fun. An' look what I got!" She reaches into her bag and pulls out the book and animals. "This is a sea otter, an' this is a river otter. Did you know otters hold hands in the water? An' they use rocks to break open shells."

"No, I didn't know that. What else did they have there?"

"Oh, all kinds of birds, an' fish. An' seals. Oh! An' sea cucumbers! Isn't that funny?" She pauses to laugh hysterically. "But you can't put them on your salad 'cause they look yucky."

"Yeah, that sounds disgusting! So what else did you do today?"

"We went to lunch. I had lobster rolls, corn, coleslaw, an' 'tatoes. It was yummy. Then we went to visit Riley. Her nose was bleedin' all over the place. It was _so gross_." She shudders and gags a little just thinking about it.

"So, do you like Derek?"

"Yeah, he's nice. But you know what?"

"What?"

"He's not my favorite."

"He isn't? Well, who is?"

She giggles as she stands up and grabs his face in her hands. "You are, silly! 'Cause you're my daddy, an' you're the bestest!"

He pulls her close and kisses her. "Well, you know what? You're my favorite, too."

A little while later she dozes off on his lap, worn out from her busy day. He pulls a blanket over her, checks on Cecilia who is also napping, and finds Addison in the master bedroom with the baby. "So, she had a good time today. She likes _him_."

Addison sees the hurt in his eyes and reaches out to stroke his cheek. "Oh, honey, she does like him. He was nice to her, and maybe bribed her with popcorn. But she _loves_ you. You're her daddy, you always have been and, no matter what happens, you always will be. He's not replacing you."

"I know, but it's not fair! I raised her. I changed her diapers, I stayed up all night when she was teething, I cleaned puke out of the carpet when she was sick, but he takes her to the aquarium for a few hours and he's a great guy? I don't like this. I'm allowing it, because technically he's her father, but I don't like it. I just don't."

"I know, and you don't have to like it. But remember, love doesn't divide. It multiplies. You're not losing a daughter, she's gaining a family. If she ends up with more people who love her, then this is a good thing. She won't love you - or the rest of us - any less just because she loves Derek and Meredith and Riley, I promise.

…..

It takes far longer than usual, but finally all three kids are asleep and Addison heads out. After double checking that she has the right house, she gets out of the car and climbs the front steps. She rings the bell and, seconds later, finds herself face-to-face with Meredith's friend. _Kristin? Christine? What is her name?_

"You're not Chinese," the Asian woman states with obvious disappointment.

"No, I, um...uh...no. English. And...Scottish, I think?" Addison replies awkwardly as Cristina gives her a _what are you talking about_ stare, wondering if this woman is going to let her in or not, before a familiar voice comes bellowing from another room.

"Cristina! Is it the cute delivery guy again?" Meredith calls seconds before appearing in the entryway. Her face brightens upon spotting the redhead. "Oh! Addison, it's you! You're late! We started without you."

" _You didn't tell me Satan was coming,"_ Cristina hisses in a failed attempt at a whisper.

"That's because _you_ were late, so I had to start drinking without you, too, and I kind of forgot to tell you," Meredith points out, also in a not-whisper. "And her name isn't _Satan_ , it's _Addison._ "

"Yeah, well, that's not what McDreamy said…"

Addison cringes, not sure she wants to know what else her ex-husband said, but decides to let it go for the time being. "Sorry I'm late, but I think the baby is teething, and she wouldn't stop crying-"

"Already? She's only what, four months? Oh, the poor thing. Isn't teething just the worst?" Meredith moans with exaggerated sympathy, and Addison begins to wonder just how early the woman started drinking.

"Okay, _this_ is what Owen wants me to become? Someone who cries over tiny little people and their tiny little teeth? They're just teeth, for fuck's sake! Get over it. I need more tequila," Cristina interjects angrily.

Meredith suddenly realizes that Addison is still standing on the porch. "Come on. You have a _lot_ of catching up to do." She practically drags Addison to the kitchen and holds up two bottles of wine. "You don't look like a tequila kind of girl. Red or white?"

"Oh, um, nothing for me. Just water, please."

"Water? Are you pregnant?" Cristina asks bluntly, as if there were no other sane reason for anyone to choose water over alcohol.

"No! No, no, no. I'm, um, not pregnant. Definitely not." _Hopefully not._ "But I'm breastfeeding-"

Cristina gives Meredith a pointed look. "This is another reason why I can't have a baby. No more tequila. Owen just doesn't understand."

Meredith rolls her eyes but otherwise ignores Cristina. "Pump and dump, sister. Pump. And. Dump. Forget the kid for one night. _You_ need to drink."

Addison narrows her eyes suspiciously. "Why do _I_ need to drink?"

"Because Derek is stupid and pretended your kid didn't exist until my kid got sick. And he's kind of a jerk. A stupid jerk."

 _Good point._ "Okay, so why are _you two_ drinking?"

"Because my stupid, _stupid_ husband has a secret wife-"

"Ex-wife…"

"Whatever. A secret ex-wife, who happens to look like Isabella _freaking_ Rossellini, and a secret kid. And he's kind of a jerk. _And_ I haven't had time to process all that because my baby has cancer and actually might die."

 _Can't argue with that._ Addison shrugs and nods in understanding before turning to Cristina with a _beat that_ stare.

"My asshole husband held my hand while I had an abortion and now he's pissed off at me for it even though I told him before we got married that I don't want kids."

 _Well, that explains the hostility towards babies_. "Oh, okay then. Wow. Drink away, both of you."

"Red, or white?" Meredith repeats.

"I really shouldn't…"

"Oh, come on. One drink won't hurt the baby. Just one." Meredith holds the bottles up again and gives Addison an encouraging - and definitely drunken - grin.

Addison finally gives in. "Okay, fine. Red!" _Only one. One glass of wine won't hurt anything._

Cristina looks satisfied as she grabs an unopened bottle of tequila from the counter, then shuffles to the living room. Addison follows with her glass of wine and spots an empty tequila bottle and several wine glasses scattered on the coffee table.

They get settled in the living room and Cristina turns to Addison. "Okay, so what did your husband do?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, we know why McDreamy's a jerk-"

"You guys really call him that?"

"Yeah."

"Doesn't that embarrass him?"

"Yeah. But focus here, Satan. Addison. Whatever. The point is, McDreamy is a jerk. Owen is a _huge_ jerk. I'm sure your husband is a jerk, so what did he do?"

Addison shifts awkwardly under the interrogation. "Um, nothing? I mean, he did sleep with me while I was married to his best friend, so there's that…"

"That's it? That was like, forever ago. Don't tell me he's been perfect since then. Dish, woman."

Luckily Addison is saved when the doorbell rings. Cristina jumps up to answer it, and returns with Chinese takeout a few minutes later.

Addison opens her container. Her stomach churns when the smell hits her, and she jumps up. "Where's the bathroom?"

Meredith points down the hall and Addison takes off. She hovers over the toilet for a minute but nothing comes up. She looks up to see Meredith in the doorway. "False alarm," she announces as she stands up, but quickly doubles over again. "Oh, God. Never mind." She's still puking when Cristina joins them in the bathroom.

"Half a glass of wine. You're a lightweight!" Meredith taunts. "I never had you pegged as a lightweight."

"No, you're pregnant. You don't want alcohol, or coffee, certain smells make you nauseous...you're pregnant. Your stupid husband knocked you up with his stupid boy penis. I should know, I've been there twice. I'm practically a professional when it comes to this."

"Thank you, Doctor…"

"Yang."

"Doctor Yang. I'm an OB/GYN so I'm _actually_ a professional when it comes to this."

"And is your _actual_ professional opinion that you're _actually_ pregnant?"

Addison sits down cross-legged, fairly confident that the vomiting is over for now, and rests her head in her hands. "I haven't taken a test but...I think so."

"I have pregnancy tests. Stupid McDreamy and I were trying for another baby before Riley got sick and he turned out to have a secret wife-"

"Ex-wife."

" _Ex-wife._ And kid. Want one?"

"No."

"Why not? If it's negative you can get drunk with us, and if it's positive you can go home and yell at your stupid husband," Cristina points out.

"Because it _won't_ be negative, and then I'll have to admit I'm pregnant and actually deal with it," Addison confesses glumly.

"So you don't _want_ to be pregnant?" Cristina presses her back to the wall - tequila bottle in one hand, takeout container in the other - and slides down until she's sitting on the floor. "Okay, look, it's fine if you don't want it. There is _no shame_ in exercising your right to choose. No shame." She nods for emphasis before shoving some noodles in her mouth.

Addison shoots Cristina an impressive side-eye. "Thank you, Doctor Yang," she quips dryly.

"I'm just saying. I've been there. _Twice_. Okay, so the first time it was ectopic, and my fallopian tube ruptured before my appointment, but if the little... _parasite_ hadn't tried to kill me, I would have done it, and I have no regrets."

Addison leans back against the tub. "Hey, no judgment here. I provide abortions through the second trimester, I'm all for the right to choose. I just don't know what I _want_ to choose."

"So, why wouldn't you want this one?" Meredith asks. "I mean, you obviously like kids, and it's not like you can't afford another one." She grabs the bottle from Cristina and takes a swig. "Not that I'm judging you. I'm just trying to help. We should make a list. You know, pros and cons or whatever…" she rambles, looking around as if she's going to find a pen and paper in the bathroom.

Addison laughs at the absurdity of her current situation. "We don't need a list. It's just...well, for starters there's the obvious. Annie's four months old. She'll barely be a year old when this one is born. That's...crazy."

Meredith nods sagely as she gulps more tequila. "It is."

" _Very_ crazy," Cristina agrees.

"And then there's this mess with Derek. He threatened to sue for custody of Emme-"

"He won't."

"He might. He's...he's desperate. And desperate people do desperate things sometimes. Do I really want to be pregnant and hormonal in the middle of a custody battle? But even if he doesn't, we already have our hands full. We have enough other things to worry about right now."

"Like Cecilia?" Addison had been staring at her lap, playing with the hem of her shirt, but her head snaps up at the mention of her middle child. "She has cerebral palsy, doesn't she?"

"Who told you?"

"Nobody! I just noticed the other day that she doesn't use her left arm, and then Mark picked her up and pants came up, and I saw the...things." Meredith gestures at her shins, obviously too drunk to come up with the word she's looking for.

"The orthotics. Yes, she does have cerebral palsy. Spastic hemiplegia," Addison admits somewhat reluctantly.

Meredith suddenly feels guilty. "You don't talk about it. I shouldn't have said anything…"

"No, it's fine. It's not like it's a secret, we're not embarrassed about it or anything. Everyone back home knows, Richard knows...we just...you know how any time you have a problem there's always that one person who has to start bitching about their own problems? Like it's a damn competition or something? _Whose life sucks more?_ "

Meredith nods. "Yeah."

"We...Mark and I just didn't want to be _those people_. We're not trying to hide anything, but you and Derek have enough on your plate. We're here for Riley. We didn't want you to feel bad that we dragged our handicapped child across the country to be here for this, that's all."

"That's really nice of you. See? I told you she's nice," Meredith tells Cristina as she sips the tequila.

"Yeah, and you're hogging the booze. That's not nice," Cristina says as she snatches the bottle back.

"So how bad is it, the cerebral palsy? Since the secret's out."

"It could be worse. I mean, her left hand probably won't improve beyond a functional assist, but she's learning to use a walker. She hates it, and would still prefer to crawl at this point, but we're working on it. And her neurologist thinks she could walk independently if she has the selective dorsal rhizotomy."

"Derek does that. It's risky," Meredith points out as if Addison isn't well aware of the possible complications. "You gonna do it?"

"Probably. But she has an ASD, and the neurologist won't operate until that gets fixed. She was supposed to have that done after Christmas last year but she got pneumonia, and then Angelina was born, and then she and Angelina both got RSV and ended up in the hospital, so it kept getting pushed back. But it's rescheduled for next month, and hopefully we can do the SDR within a couple of months of that, although she'll also need a tendon-lengthening surgery in her left foot, because she has a contracture from the muscles being so tight. But the SDR...she'll be starting from square one after that. Rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking...she'll have to relearn everything, and she's gonna need intense physical therapy every day for months. I just don't think I can deal with all that while I'm pregnant."

"Your kid is a surgical goldmine," Cristina remarks in awe when Addison is done ranting.

"Cristina!"

"What? It's true." She thinks for a minute. "I like her."

"The kid?"

"No, Mere, not the kid. Satan. Would you pay attention?"

"It's Addison."

"Whatever. I like her. She's dark and twisty."

"I'm dark and what?"

"Twisty. You're dark and twisty. Like us. This one here, she acts all bright and shiny now 'cause she has a kid, but trust me. She's dark and twisty. She has... _issues_. She's pissed off, and a nervous wreck, and seething with hate. Dark. And. Twisty." Cristina repeats to Addison, then looks at Meredith. "You should keep her around. I like her and all her dark and twisty problems that are way worse than ours. Well, maybe not worse than yours because, you know, leukemia, but definitely worse than mine. We can just talk about her problems all the time and pretend ours don't exist."

"If I pretend leukemia doesn't exist my kid could die."

"And if you pretend your problems don't exist, you could end up divorced," Addison points out.

"Okay, you know what? Maybe I don't like you," Cristina grumbles. "Oh, fuck. Now we have another problem."

"What?"

"We're out of tequila, and neither one of us can drive."

 **So, there it is. Tequila bonding, though probably not what you were expecting. Surprise? The "Addison can't get pregnant" thing has been done so often (I know, I'm guilty) that I thought it might be fun to try "Addison can't stop getting pregnant" instead. I hope it amused you, though. I have to say, I like the Addison/Cristina thing. I wish they'd gotten to interact more on the show, because there was just so much potential for hilarity with their snarky personalities.**

 **Side note - I never got the comparison of Addison to Isabella Rossellini (the Catherine Deneuve comparison is much more accurate, imo), but it's kind of an iconic Grey's line so I had to borrow it anyways.**

 **P.S. I have nothing written for the next chapter and no clue where I'm going with it. Oops. Maybe reviews will help? (hint hint hint)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey y'all, thanks** _ **so much**_ **for all the reviews on chapters 7 and 8! I was hoping to get this up sooner but I ended up working overtime Monday and Tuesday and didn't have the time or energy to write, and Wednesday - my day off - was gorgeous so I went to the lake instead of writing. Sorry, not sorry. Also, my sister is visiting from out of state for the next 6 weeks, which means my writing time will be limited for a while. I'll still be writing, but updates may not come as quickly so apologies for that!**

 **This chapter goes out to the savage winter machine, who should be my official "nag me daily until I get my shit together and update" person because, well, I need that kind of person in my life.**

The next morning, Mark wakes to the sound of Angelina crying over the baby monitor shortly after six o'clock. He rolls over and, seeing the other side of the bed is empty, assumes Addison has already gotten up and attempts to go back to sleep. The crying intensifies, however, and he sits up; he realizes Addison is in the bathroom and hurries to get the baby. "Okay, I gotcha, you're alright," he soothes as he rescues the red-faced little creature. "Yes, you are. You're just fine. Let's get you changed and we'll go find mommy."

He's entering the main room the same time Addison exits the master suite. She immediately reaches for the baby who, judging by her cries, just may be on the brink of starvation; Mark studies her face as he hands over the wailing bundle. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"You look a little flushed, that's all."

She shrugs it off. "Nah, I'm good."

She sits on the couch to feed the baby. He joins her. "So, wild night?" he teases, as she'd returned long after he had gone to bed.

"Oh, you have no idea! I have never seen two people put away that much tequila in one night…"

"You don't even like tequila."

"Oh, God, not _me_. I'm...breastfeeding. I can't drink! And I had to drive home. I had like, half a glass of wine. Meredith and her friend Cristina, on the other hand...they polished off a whole bottle in an hour and a half, tops, plus God only knows what before I got there, and I still had to make a liquor store run for more because obviously neither one of them could drive! They're probably still drunk now."

"That sounds highly irresponsible."

"Yeah, well, Meredith is a train wreck. She's worried sick over the baby and still pissed at Derek over the whole 'secret ex-wife and kid' thing - can't say I blame her there - so if she needs a night of drinking to forget about it for a while who am I to judge her?"

"Yeah, I guess. She's really that pissed about you and Emme even though Emme is saving her kid's life?"

"Ohhhhhh, yeah. Well, she _is_ pissed that he never told her about us but let me tell you, that girl has daddy issues. Her parents divorced when she was five and her mom took her to Boston, and apparently her father never attempted to see her or stay in contact after that. I guess the fact that Derek ignored his own kid for five years hits a little too close to home, so now those two really need to work shit out…"

Before Mark can inquire further about the night's events Emmeline enters the room and slips wordlessly between them on the couch, blanket draped around her shoulders and stuffed lamb clutched in one hand. Her eyes are downcast, and not even the slightest hint of a smile crosses her lips. It's not like her to be so sullen in the morning, and they share a concerned glance.

Addison presses a hand to her daughter's forehead, but finds it no warmer than usual. "What's the matter, love bug? You look like you got up on the wrong side of the bed."

Emme just shrugs and leans into Mark, her free arm snaking around his. "Nothin'."

Mark brushes tangled, dark locks out of her face. "I was just going to make breakfast. You want to help me make pancakes?"

She agrees, but ends up just sitting on the counter watching him work.

Addison finishes feeding and burping Angelina and gets her settled on the floor with a few toys for some tummy time. Mark finishes the pancakes and goes to get Cecilia. "Let's do your shot while daddy's getting Cece," Addison suggests.

Emmeline protests. "I don't _want_ a shot." She pulls her knees up to her chest and tugs her nightgown down over her legs protectively. "I wanna go home."

"Why? Sweetheart, you were so brave yesterday! Let's just get it over with, and then we can go swimming after breakfast."

"I don't _want_ to go swimming!"

Emme never turns down a chance to swim, so this worries Addison. "Sweetie, what's the matter? You love swimming. Why don't you want to go?"

Emmeline's lower lip begins to tremble. "Because, it hurts."

"Swimming hurts?"

"No."

"Then what hurts?"

" _Everything_!"

"Like what?"

"I don't know." By now a few tears are rolling down her cheeks and Addison brushes them away gently.

"Well, does your tummy hurt?"

"No."

"How about your head?"

"No."

"Your throat?" Emme shakes her head. "Your ears?"

"No."

"Baby, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. Where does it hurt?"

"I don't know, just _everywhere_ ," Emme yells in frustration before bursting into tears just as Mark returns with a cheerful toddler on one hip.

"What's going on?" he asks as he gets Cecilia strapped into the high chair.

Addison has already scooped Emme up. "I don't know. Probably just bone pain from the shots, like Doctor Rasgotra said. She doesn't have a fever and she says her tummy, head, throat and ears don't hurt, so I don't think she's actually sick," she explains as she rubs Emme's back while swaying a bit.

Mark's heart aches seeing his little girl in pain from something that isn't even benefiting her."You want to give her some Tylenol? The doctor said that was okay, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't bring any. We were all out when I was packing."

"Oh. I'll get some after breakfast."

…..

It's after nine o'clock when Meredith shuffles into Riley's room wearing dark sunglasses, her hair thrown into a messy ponytail. She is greeted enthusiastically by her daughter, who pops the pacifier out of her mouth long enough to squeal "Mamaaaaaaa!"

"Hey there, pumpkin!" She feigns excitement as the girl flings herself from Derek's arms to her own. "Well, someone's in a good mood today."

Derek is smiling broadly, looking a bit better than he has in a while. "She slept great last night, ate a whole bowl of Cheerios and half a banana for breakfast, and nurse Abby just gave her a bath. She's having a good day so far. Not so sure I can say the same for you…you...well, you kind of smell like a bar, honey."

"Yeah, a bottle and a half of tequila will do that to you."

"You, um, you want me to stay?"

Meredith drops down into the rocking chair. "No, you go. I'll be fine."

"If you say so." Derek drops a kiss on Riley's head. "Bye, pumpkin. Be good for mommy. I'll be back later."

As soon as Derek leaves Riley is bouncing in Meredith's lap. "Mama, Melmo!"

"You want Elmo?" Meredith gets up to retrieve Riley's beloved red Muppet.

Riley snatches the stuffed animal but scowls and points at the TV. "Melmo!"

This elicits a long moan from Meredith. The shrill-voiced monster is definitely not going to help her headache but it keeps Riley happy so she puts on one of the girl's many Elmo DVDs.

Half an hour later the DVD ends. "Melmo all done. More?"

"Let's watch Baby Einstein." Meredith suggests.

Riley shakes her head. "Melmo!"

"How about Frozen?"

"No! More Melmo!"

Meredith gives in. Riley giggles as her mother groans and gets up to put on another Elmo DVD. _This is going to be a_ long _day._

…..

Derek pulls out his phone and calls Addison on his way out of the hospital. "Hey, I'm just leaving the hospital. I'm going home to take a shower, and then I was wondering if maybe I could see Emme…"

Addison frowns. "She's not feeling so great today."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"She's just tired and achy and, quite frankly, a bit on the grumpy side. I don't think she'd be much fun."

"Well, did you take her to the ER?"

"She's fine, Derek. It's most likely just a side effect of the filgrastim."

"But maybe it isn't. What if it's an infection? You should bring her in, just in case."

"Calm down. She doesn't have a fever, or any other sign of an infection. I called the doctor already, and she said there's no need to bring her in. She's fine."

"But what if she isn't? It could jeopardize the transplant."

"We'll go if she gets worse, but really, Derek, she's okay. Relax."

"Okay, okay. Sorry. I'll, um, I'll talk to you later, I guess."

"Derek, wait. I...I know this is none of my business but Meredith...she's taking all of this pretty hard. I think you two really need to talk."

"You're right, it is none of your business. Good-"

"Wait! Don't hang up! Look, I know it's hard because one of you is always with Riley, but-"

"Meredith is fine. We're fine."

"No, you're not! God damn it, Derek! I thought maybe you'd get it right this time-"

"What are you talking about?"

"God, Derek, you're so oblivious! Nothing is _fine_ , and you can't just ignore it and hope it goes away. Don't make that mistake again. Talk to your wife. Find a way to fix things."

"When, Addison? In case you haven't noticed one of us is always with Riley and we're not going to argue in front of her."

"Tonight. The babies are in bed by seven. I'll come sit with Riley. You and Meredith get out of the hospital for a while. Go get dinner and talk."

"Addison, we can't leave Riley-"

"Do you want to lose Meredith? Because you will if you don't get your shit together. Seven fifteen, I'll be there. Tell Meredith to be ready."

He knows he's not going to win this round. "Fine. Seven fifteen. But let me see Emme. Please? I'll come to the hotel. Just for a few minutes?"

"Fine. Just a few minutes."

"Thanks. I'll be there in half an hour."

…..

Half an hour later Mark returns from the drugstore with children's Tylenol. "Hey, love bug, I got something for you," he informs Emme with a smile as he drops to his haunches in front of her. She's still looking pretty unhappy, but she'd eaten a bit of breakfast and allowed Addison to administer her injection without too much of a fight, though there were plenty of tears.

She sits up on the couch, her blanket still wrapped around her shoulders. "What is it?" she asks.

He pulls a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream out of the bag. "Just for you. You don't even have to share with Cece."

She grins for the first time all morning. "Really?"

"Really."

She springs forward and throws her arms around his neck, almost knocking him off balance. "You're the bestest daddy ever!"

"And you're the best daughter ever. Now take this," he orders as he places a few chewable tablets in her hand, "and you can have some ice cream after lunch."

A minute later there's a knock on the door. Addison is getting the little ones ready for the pool - Emme is still insisting she doesn't want to go, but Addison thinks if they drag her along it might distract her from the pain until the Tylenol kicks in and snap her out of her mood - so Mark answers it; he's not overly amused to find Derek standing there with a bunch of balloons and a gift bag. "What are you doing here?"

"Addison said Emme wasn't feeling well this morning. I just wanted to stop by and see her.

Emme can't hear what they're saying, but she's watching with interest from the couch. "Hey! Are those for me?"

Mark can't very well send Derek away now so he steps aside to let the other man in. He goes over to the couch and perches on the arm. "They are for you. Your mom said you were feeling kind of yucky from the shots."

She looks up at him with sad eyes and nods. "It hurts _everywhere,_ " she laments.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe this will make you feel better."

She eagerly accepts the gift bag he offers her. "Look, mommy! My Little Pony! I don't have these ones!"

He turns to see Addison approaching with Cecilia in one arm and Angelina in the other, ready for the pool in their flamingo bathing suits. The toddler grins and waves before greeting him with a cheery "Hi, hi!" and it's almost impossible not to smile back. Almost.

Addison just raises an eyebrow. "Really, Derek? You're going to spoil her."

"So what? She deserves it for being such a brave girl and helping Riley," he says innocently as he opens the package Emme is thrusting at him. He hands her the freed pony, then opens the other one. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get going. I hope you feel better soon, Emme."

Emme gives him a hug and watches adoringly, a pony in each hand, as he leaves. "Bye Derek!"

Mark rolls his eyes at the display. "Okay, go get your swimsuit on."

"But I don't wanna!"

"Well, I don't care. You only have today and tomorrow to swim, then you'll have the tube in your arm. You won't be able to go in the water and you'll wish you'd gone, so go get changed."

Emme pouts but stomps off to her room, still clutching the toys. "This is ridiculous," Mark complains once she's out of earshot as he takes Cecilia from Addison. He sits her on the counter to put her sandals on. "He shows up with balloons and some stupid plastic ponies, and she thinks he hung the moon. He's buying her affection!"

"Yeah, he is. And I know that bothers you, but that doesn't give you the right to yell at her. It's not her fault he's trying to make up for five years of being a jerk."

He snorts. "A jerk? What is this, kindergarten?"

"Meredith's word, not mine. I can think of a few others, but they probably shouldn't be spoken in front of little ears..."

…..

The rest of the day passes uneventfully. As Addison expected the Tylenol kicks in and Emme enjoys playing in the pool for a few hours; she even feels well enough that they go out to lunch, then check out the children's museum before returning to the hotel to order room service for dinner. By seven the little ones are asleep, and Emme is snuggled up in her parents' bed with the promise of watching a movie with Mark.

Mark is trying to understand why Addison is going to watch Riley. "I still don't see why you even care. He wants to make an ass of himself and wreck another marriage, let him. That's his business, not yours," he argues quietly as she gets her shoes on and locates her purse.

"Oh, but it is my business. We haven't really discussed it yet, but you know he's eventually going to want joint custody of Emme. I'm not thrilled with the idea, but it's his right so the least I can do is make sure her father and stepmother are in,a good place before that happens. I don't want her getting caught up in a mess, which is where they're heading if he doesn't get his head out of his ass. And Meredith...she's a nice girl. She doesn't deserve to go through the shit he put me through. So, I'm helping them out."

He tilts her chin up and kisses her gently. "You're a nice girl, too. You didn't deserve it either," he reminds her before she slips out the door.

…..

Derek and Meredith end up at a burger joint after Meredith insists that she doesn't care what they eat, as long as it isn't Chinese. They make small talk, mostly about Riley, for a while before Meredith takes the plunge. "So, you promised to love Addison for better or for worse, but things got bad and you ran. How do I know you won't do the same to me?"

"Are you going to have sex with my best friend?"

"No."

"Then we're good. Besides, we have Riley. I could never leave her, you know that."

"But you left Emme."

"I didn't know about Emme when I left."

"But you knew after. You could have gone back, or filed for custody, or whatever."

"She didn't need me. Addison has a twenty-five million dollar trust fund, okay? She didn't need a damn thing from me."

"All the money in the world can't replace a father, Derek! I should know. My mom was a doctor, we certainly weren't poor, but I would rather have been dirt poor and had my dad around than go my whole life without him. Especially now that I know he went on with his life and had two more kids that he did stick around for. Do you have any idea how that feels? How it's going to make Emme feel when she finds out?"

He can't look her in the eye, because the pain he sees there makes him feel about two feet tall; instead, he fixates on a water ring on the table and fiddles with a straw wrapper. "It was wrong, okay? I know that, and I'm sorry. But I was so mad at Addison. And at first I thought she was making it up just to get me to go back. Then my sister Nancy told me she really was pregnant, but all I could think was that it was probably Mark's baby. I just didn't want to think about it, so I ignored it. I know I should have told you sooner, but we were happy. We got married, you got pregnant...the longer I waited, the more afraid I was to bring it up, because I thought it might ruin things between us. Addison was still sending me things at the hospital - pictures, but I never opened them - but she stopped calling and e-mailing. I figured she'd moved on, and I might as well move on too."

"You still should have said something. Yeah, I probably would have gotten mad, but my God, Derek. That little girl didn't deserve that. I hope you're ready to pay for years of therapy."

He lets out a bitter laugh. "Yeah."

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Meredith speaks again. "So, what did you do wrong? To make Addison cheat, I mean."

"Wait a minute. _She_ cheated, and you're blaming _me_? What exactly did she say to you?"

"Nothing! I mean, Cristina did ask her why she did it, but all she would say was 'sometimes people do desperate things to get someone's attention.' But she's...she seems really nice. Not the kind of person to take cheating lightly. So, what did you do to her?"

"Nothing! I was a good husband. Faithful. I never hurt her. Why she chose to sleep with Mark...I don't know. I just don't."

"She still loves you, you know. After...whatever. She still loves you."

His head snaps up and he looks at her like she's crazy. "She said that?"

"No. But she wouldn't be here in Seattle if she didn't, she wouldn't be so willing to let you see Emme, and she _definitely_ wouldn't be sitting in the hospital with our baby, when she has three of her own, just so we can talk about our problems. Maybe she's not _in love_ with you, but if that's not love, I don't know what is."

"Yeah. I guess it is."

…..

Derek and Meredith return to the oncology ward and Addison tries to excuse herself, but Derek offers to walk her out to her car. "I'm going home anyways, I just wanted to kiss Riley goodnight."

She obliges and they take the elevator downstairs. In the lobby he catches her arm and guides her over to a row of chairs. "What you said earlier, on the phone. About making the same mistake. What were you talking about?"

"Ignoring your problems. We were in trouble, Derek, a _long_ time before the affair. We were busy with work, and we were drifting apart. You...you didn't _see_ me any more. You were oblivious to me. I wanted us to get help. If I tried talking to you at work, it went in one ear and out the other. If I brought it up at home, you'd say we were fine, tell me to quit nagging you, and find some reason why you suddenly had to go back to the hospital. And now you're doing the same thing with Meredith. Do you have any idea how overwhelmed she is right now? And you just keep saying things are fine, but they aren't. They suck. Hopefully you worked things out tonight and they suck a little less, but that's not enough. You need to keep working on it, or you're going to lose her.

Look, I know that on your turf here in Seattle, and in your head, you're the good guy. You're McDreamy. I'm the cheating whore, Satan, an adulterous sociopath -yes, I know what you're telling people - but the reality is, we were both to blame. You're not just an innocent victim. You hurt me. You ignored me. You weren't there when I needed you-"

"So you ran to Mark?"

"Yeah, except...I didn't."

"You didn't run to Mark?"

"I didn't have to...because he was already there. You made sure of that."

"I'm fairly certain I never told Mark to fuck my wife. In my own bed, no less."

"No, but he was everywhere else. The last few years, every time we had dinner reservations, tickets to the theatre, work events...any time we had something to do together you blew me off at the last minute, found some excuse not to be there, and sent Mark in your place. I missed you. I was lonely, and sad, and you weren't there, or you were there but you might as well not have been because I was invisible to you. I thought...maybe if I slept with Mark, you'd see me. You'd realize something was wrong, and you'd try to fix it. But you didn't. You ran, and you never looked back. I wasn't worth fighting for, and that's when I knew it was over. You just didn't care."

She's avoiding his gaze, but he can tell she's fighting back tears. "You're right. I was indifferent, and absent. And I'm sorry."

She gives him a wry smile. "It's a little late for that. But it's not too late for you and Meredith. Don't stop seeing her, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. I, um, I gotta get going. I'll see you around...maybe tomorrow?" she offers.

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

 **Okay, so that was a** _ **freakin'**_ **lot of talking. Words, words, words. Blah blah blah. But it needed to be done so they can all move on and start to heal. Let me know what you think and remember how much reviews motivate me!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, 5 reviews on the last chapter? Ouch. That hurts a little after all the kick-ass reviews on chapters 7 and 8. But fear not, winter machine is dying for chapter 10 and providing me with the daily nagging I need so here it is, even if you guys don't love me. You should probably thank her. (I believe she likes wine and chocolate…)**

The next morning is spent in the pool once again; the afternoon is sunny so after the little ones nap the family spends the afternoon at a playground. Addison agrees to dinner with Derek and they let Emme choose the restaurant, since her stem cell harvest begins the following day. They end up at a Tex-Mex place not far from the hotel, and don't say no when she requests ice cream afterwards.

Later, with Cecilia down for the night and Addison tending to a fussy baby, Mark gives Emmeline a bath. He adds an extra squirt of the strawberry-scented bubble bath she loves and lets her play as long as she wants since it'll only be sponge baths for her once her PICC line is put in the next morning.

She splashes around for a while before looking up at him, droplets of water clinging to her long, dark lashes. "You're gonna go with me in the morning, right? To the hospital? You _and_ mommy?"

He smiles as he wipes a cluster of bubbles from her forehead. They've gone over the game plan for the following day at least a dozen times already, but he'll do it a dozen more if it makes her feel better. "Mommy's going with you in the morning to get your PICC line, because only one of us is allowed to be in the room for that. You remember what the PICC line is?"

"That's like what Riley has, 'cept mine is goin' in my arm, not here." She pauses and puts a hand on her chest. "An' the nurse will give me something to make me sleepy."

"That's right. And you can't have breakfast before they put it in, so when it's all done and you're in your room, Annie, Cece and I will come see you and bring you-"

"Green juice."

He laughs. "Yes, green juice. And breakfast."

"Blueberry muffins?"

"If that's what you want."

"Okay." She looks down and swishes her hand through the suds before glancing up again. "An' it's not gonna hurt, right?"

"It's not going to hurt." He sees her shiver a little and decides she's been in the tub long enough. He pulls the plug, lifts her out, and teases her about turning into a raisin while he wraps her in a fluffy white towel.

She drags the getting-ready-for-bed routine out far longer than necessary, but he doesn't rush her. Finally she's in bed, although it takes three and a half stories in before she's asleep, warm, limp weight on his chest. He shifts her oh-so-carefully and tiptoes out of the room to find Addison cradling Angelina in their bed.

"Nine-thirty, huh? Pretty impressive stalling," she teases quietly.

"She's nervous," he says with a shrug as he eases into bed. "From the sounds of it you weren't having the easiest time in here, either.

Addison gently tugs down the baby's plump bottom lip to reveal one nubby little tooth and a bump next to it. "That other tooth is coming in. She was miserable, poor little peanut. But hopefully she's out for the night, now."

With the baby carefully placed in her crib, Addison and Mark decide to call it a night since she has to be at the hospital by seven-thirty with Emme. They manage a blissful three hours of slumber before the sound of crying comes over the monitor; they're still rubbing sleep from their eyes when Emme, nearing hysterics, pushes their door open.

"Hey, now, what's the matter?" Mark sits up and Emme flies into his open arms. He grimaces as he pulls her into his lap, not needing an answer to his question though she stammers an apology between choking sobs anyways. "Go back to sleep, I got this," he tells Addison. She offers to get up instead but he thinks she's been looking a bit worn out the last few days so he insists.

"Okay, that's enough. It's only an accident," he says gently as he sets Emme down in the bathroom and starts stripping off her wet pajamas. He runs another bath and, once she's in, calls housekeeping for clean sheets even though he already knows she won't be sleeping in her own bed for the rest of the night.

Half an hour later, dressed in a fresh Tinkerbell nightie, she's still sniffling and hiccuping. "You want to sleep with me and mommy?" he asks and she nods so he carries her off to the master suite. Nestled between her parents she finally quiets, and after five minutes of Addison rubbing her back Emme falls asleep.

…..

The baby starts crying at quarter after six the next morning, and Cecilia is wide awake when Addison goes in to get her. Mark tries to hold off on feeding her until after Addison and Emme leave, but she protests with a tantrum that would put other two-year-olds to shame. He relents and fixes her a bowl of oatmeal only to be faced with an angry outburst from his older daughter.

"It's not fair! I wanna eat too!"

"Emme, calm down. You'll get to eat in a little while. I'm gonna bring you green juice and blueberry muffins at the hospital, remember?"

"But I don't wanna eat at the hospital, I wanna eat _now._ I'm starving!" she insists, and when he doesn't give in she swipes angrily at the table, sending a sippy cup, a couple of teething toys and rattles, Addison's sunglasses, and the car keys clattering to the floor. He gives her a few minutes to cool off before squatting down with open arms; she melts into him and cries into his shoulder. "I want you to go to the hospital with me," she chokes out as he strokes her hair.

"Emme, we've been over this. Only one of us can go. Do you want me, or mommy?"

"Both."

"Em…"

The girl looks from Mark to Addison. "Mommy," she finally decides between hiccups.

He smooths her hair back and kisses her forehead. "Okay. You go with mommy, and your sisters and I will be there as soon as possible, I promise."

Addison smiles and tries not to tear up at the exchange. Her husband never fails to melt her heart with the endless patience and tenderness he has for Emme, even when she's at her anxious, overly-emotional worst. She leans in to kiss him when he stands up. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being the best daddy in the whole world."

…..

Half an hour later Addison and Emme are running out the door to catch their cab. Mark waits an hour before loading the girls into the car. They go to the bakery down the street where he gets Emmeline's blueberry muffins, coffee and danishes for Addison and himself, and a pink-frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles painstakingly selected by Cecilia. Closer to the hospital he picks up the requested green juice.

Inside the hospital he studies the directory and makes his way to the apheresis unit, a room filled with a dozen or so reclining chairs separated by curtains. Addison and Emme aren't there yet, but they only have to pace the hallway - Angelina sleeping in the stroller, Cecilia amusing herself with a couple of well-worn board books and enthusiastically greeting anyone that passes - for a few minutes before the two appear. Mark can tell Emme had been crying at some point but she's calm now and Addison doesn't look any worse for the wear so he figures everything must've gone okay.

"There's my girl," Mark says as an orderly pushes Emme into the room and transfers her from the wheelchair to one of the recliners. "Were you brave for mommy?"

"No."

Addison tousles the girl's hair. "She was very brave. She only cried once."

A minute later a nurse approaches. "Now, I heard we have a very brave little girl named Emmeline who came all the way from New York to help her friend Riley get better. Have you seen her?" she asks as she sits on a stool by Emme's chair.

Emme giggles. "That's me!"

The nurse feigns surprise. "Oh! Well, I'm very pleased to meet you! I'm nurse Lydia, and I'll be taking care of you today. And this is an apheresis machine. We're going to hook this tube," she pauses and holds up a tube coming from the machine, "to that tube they just put in your arm. No needles, see? It isn't going to hurt one bit. Now, once we hook it up, your blood will go into that machine which will take out all those magic cells for little Riley, and the rest will go right back to you. You think you're ready?" Emmeline looks a bit uncertain but nods and the nurse hooks her up to the machine. "See, that didn't hurt at all, did it?"

"No." Emmeline watches as blood fills the tube. "That...that's my blood?" she asks shakily, turning a bit green.

"Baby, don't look at it. Look over here," Addison orders, drawing Emme's attention to her tablet. "You want to watch a movie?"

The distraction works, and soon Emme's engrossed in Toy Story and devouring her breakfast, he color back to normal.

"Now, she might get a tingling feeling in her hands, feet, or lips. That's perfectly normal, but if it bothers her we can give her a calcium chew to make it stop. Some patients get the chills. Just ask for another blanket if she needs one. Oh, and I'll leave this with you." Nurse Lydia hands Addison a pink plastic basin. "Hopefully you won't need it but in rare cases patients experience a bit of nausea and vomiting. I'll be by periodically to check on her, but don't hesitate to ask if she needs anything at any time."

Fortunately the basin wasn't needed, and the next few hours pass smoothly. Addison nurses the baby when she cries, and she and Mark take turns entertaining Cecilia when she gets antsy. Emmeline is finishing Toy Story 2 when a familiar voice is heard from the doorway.

"So, is this where the party is?"

They all look up to see Derek, and Emme notices that he's not empty handed. "Is that for me?" she asks, her eyes bright with anticipation.

He sets the bag in her lap. "It's from Riley, to say thank you for doing this," he explains before she pulls a plush otter out of the bag and squeals. It's smaller than the one she'd wanted, but she doesn't seem to notice.

Addison shoots daggers with her eyes. "I told her no," she mouths, a little pissed at him for undermining her authority.

"You said no to the big one," he argues.

Emme is oblivious to their bickering. Mark rolls his eyes at Derek's attempt to win Emme's affection. "You know what? I'm gonna take this one out to burn off some energy," he says as an excuse to escape the crowded space. He spends the next half hour or so fuming and holding Cecilia's hands as she toddles up and down the hallway - this is Seattle, so if course it's raining and going outside isn't an option. She's slow, and unsteady, and if he were to let go she'd no doubt tumble to the floor, but she's pleased with herself nonetheless and isn't ashamed to heap on the self praise when he's slow to cheer her on. _Good job, Cece! Way to go!_ she lisps over and over, mimicking her enthusiastic physical therapist, and Mark finds it hard to stay in a bad mood.

He's so engrossed in his tiny daughter that he doesn't realize they're not alone until he hears his former best friend speak. "I had no idea." He glances up briefly at Derek's confused face, then follows his gaze downward.

Cecilia's wearing leggings today, her orthotics - bright pink plastic with cartoon kitties - fitted over the top. The right one only goes a bit above her ankle and could easily be missed, but the left, extending almost to her knee, is glaringly obvious, especially against the charcoal grey of her pants.

"You never...why didn't you say something?"

"Like what? Hey, sorry your kid has leukemia. Oh, and by the way, mine has cerebral palsy?"

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"But you're a fucking neurosurgeon, man. I thought you might have picked up on it before now," Mark admits. "Good to see you're as oblivious as ever," he taunts, and Derek chuckles.

"Yeah, I guess you got me there. So, how bad is it?"

Mark lets go of Cecilia's hands. She manages one wobbly step, and Derek winces as she crashes to the floor. "She's fine," Mark assures him as he helps her up. "She falls _a lot_. She's used to it. But...that's as good as it gets without her walker - which we forgot and didn't realize until we were at the airport."

Derek frowns. "I'm sorry."

"Why? We're not. Don't apologize for my kid like she's some fucking tragedy, because she's not. You have no idea how lucky we are she's even alive. She's a miracle. She's funny, and smart, and the toughest, bravest person I know. So she can't walk...big deal. She's perfect just the way she is, so don't feel sorry for us."

"No, you're right. I'm s- I didn't mean it like that. It's just...it's not easy."

"No, it isn't," Mark admits. "But she's worth it."

"Yeah, I'm sure she is. Um, I gotta get back upstairs but I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, we'll be here."

 **Okie dokie. Derek's still sucking up to Emme. Addison still hasn't told Mark she's pregnant. Derek and Mark still aren't bffs again, but they said more than two words to each other so I guess that's something. Love it? Hate it? Suggestions? Predictions? Thoughts? Remember, I love reviews like drunk Addison likes Izzie's muffins so don't be afraid to drop me a line. Or two. Or forty, if you're so inclined.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, you guys totally rock. I will never doubt your love again! Thanks a million for all the awesome reviews...my confidence has been restored. (That doesn't mean you should stop reviewing. My fragile ego requires frequent stroking.)**

 **Now for some bad news. I'll be busy next week from Wednesday right through the weekend, which means I won't have time for writing and probably won't get around to it until the middle of the following week. However, since y'all are so awesome I don't want to leave you high and dry for a week. I'm going to try to stockpile a few chapters, but I'd also like to try something new, stretch myself a little. In the reviews, leave me suggestions, prompts, challenges, requests, whatever, for drabbles, one-shots, etc and from now until Wednesday I'll pick my favorites and use my lunch breaks to squirrel away some stuff that I can post periodically while I'm away. The only stipulation is that whatever it is must involve Addison somehow because, let's face it, I'm trash for Addison and I don't want to stretch myself** _ **too**_ **much. Sound fun? Okay. Go!**

The second day of the harvest goes smoothly, and by the third day Emme is much calmer, since she now knows what to expect, and agrees to let Mark accompany her to the hospital while Addison stays with the little ones. "Bye, love bug, I'll see you when you're all done," Addison says when she drops them off. Emme, brimming with confidence, waves and marches inside, her tote bag filled with books, toys and snacks slung over one shoulder.

With Mark and Emme gone she heads to a nearby grocery store. She tucks Angelina into a carrier and hoists Cecilia onto one hip, depositing her into the seat of a cart when they get inside - after it's been thoroughly disinfected, of course, because everyone knows shopping carts are gross and the last thing anyone needs right now is for Cecilia to come down with something contagious.

They head through the produce department first, where Addison grabs a bunch of bananas and a bag of Mandarin oranges. In the dairy section she snags Babybel cheese and yogurt - strawberry banana for Cecilia, blueberry for Emme - then ventures into the aisles. Applesauce pouches - apple cherry, a current favorite of both girls - and Goldfish crackers are added to the cart, followed by diapers and wipes. Juice boxes. Pretzels for Emme, trail mix for herself and Mark. Finally she locates the one thing she desperately needs and after a deep breath and a quick look around - as if there is any chance of running into anyone she knows in Seattle - tosses a few in the cart.

By the time they make it to the register, the baby is fussing and Cecilia is screeching and grabbing at anything within reach, reminding Addison why she prefers to go grocery shopping alone. She's so focused on diffusing the imminent toddler meltdown that she doesn't notice the person in line ahead of them, and nearly jumps out of her skin when said person addresses her.

"Seriously? You _still_ haven't peed on the damn stick?"

"Oh, Jesus!" Addison looks up and sees Cristina eyeing the boxes - Clearblue, First Response, and e.p.t., just to be sure - in her cart. "No, I, uh...well, we've been busy, you know…"

"Mmm hmm." Cristina pays for her items and glances from Cecilia, who is squawking loudly and reaching for a display of Tic Tacs, to Angelina who, as anyone in a ten-foot radius can tell, is in need of a diaper change and not happy about it. "Well, good luck with that. Fingers crossed for a negative."

 _Yeah, me too._ "Um, thanks."

Upon returning to the hotel Addison ropes a bellhop into carrying her purchases upstairs while she tries to ignore the stares her screaming, squirming children are drawing and almost wishes she'd opted to go to the hospital with Emme instead. She gets Cecilia settled with an orange, some cheese, and a few Goldfish, only to have the girl demand yogurt instead, then retreats to the bedroom to change the baby, feed her, and put her down for a nap. When she's done with that she wrangles a writhing Cecilia - _good Lord, does this child actually want me to lose my mind today? -_ into a clean diaper and reads four books before the child succumbs to the need for a nap.

With a minute to herself, or so she thinks, hurries to the bathroom. She's perched on the toilet tearing into a box when someone knocks on the door. _Noon already?_ She checks her watch to confirm the time and, with a sigh, shoves the tests into her toiletry bag. "I'm coming!" she calls a bit crossly as the knocking continues. _I swear to God, if you wake the hooligans up I will strangle you_ , she thinks a bit uncharitably as she forced a smile and flings the door open to reveal her ex-husband. "Derek. Hey."

"Addison." He returns the smile and waits for her to step aside before entering. "You okay? You look a little...on-edge."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Crazy morning. The kids have been driving me up a wall, just got them down for a nap…" she rambles as they make their way to the sitting area. "Can I get you a drink? I have water or...juice boxes. Top of the line organic…"

He laughs. "Water's fine." She tosses him a bottle, grabs one for herself, and takes a seat across from him. After a moment of awkward silence he speaks. "Okay, so...we're telling Emme soon…"

" _I_ am telling Emme soon," she corrects him. "Either tomorrow or Friday should be the final day of the harvest. This is...she's going to be emotional. I don't think you should be there. I figure when we finish up at the hospital we'll come back here, Mark and I will tell her, and we'll give her some time to process everything. Depending on how well she takes it we can meet up for dinner or something that night, or wait until the next day if she needs a little more time."

He nods. "That sounds like a good plan." He thinks for a minute and decides to press his luck. "So, have you given any thought to...custody arrangements?"

"Derek…"

"I was thinking, not _right now_ , but...it is summer vacation...maybe she could stay with me and Meredith for a couple weeks before school starts?"

She nearly chokes on her water. "No. Oh no. Definitely not-"

"Addison-"

"No way. Derek, you're being ridiculous!"

"Why? She likes me!"

"Well yeah, you're nice to her, you buy her presents and take her fun places, you've never made her clean her room or eat her veggies or told her she can't have something she wants, of course she likes you...as a _friend_. That doesn't mean she'll like you as a _parent_. No way am I leaving her with you for a few weeks."

"Just think about it. See how she reacts when you tell her."

"No. You're not thinking about what's best for her. You're thinking about yourself, and all the lost time you have to make up for."

"But-"

"But nothing! You _really_ think this is a good time for me to leave her here? Riley is going to be in the hospital for over three months after the transplant. By the time she comes home, Emme will be in school. And right now, you spend more than half of your time at the hospital. Who is going to take care of Emme while you're there?"

"Meredith."

"No. Are you insane? You really expect her to spend what little free time she has with the step-daughter she _just_ learned about three weeks ago? That isn't fair to either one of them. And even if she is okay with it, what would you do if something happens with Riley and both of you have to be at the hospital? This isn't New York, where we have the nanny or our friends to fall back on. There is nobody she knows out here, nobody I would trust to look after her in your absence. I'm not opposed to her staying here _at some point_ , I just don't think the circumstances are right at,his time. Maybe...maybe if Riley's doing okay you can come to New York over the holidays and see her then, and depending on how Cecilia is doing we could come back here for spring break, and then next summer we can discuss the possibility of Emme staying with you. That's the best I can give you right now. In the meantime, you and Emme can Facetime, or whatever, and get to know each other better. That's it. Take it or leave it."

He pauses to consider her offer and entertains the thought that she might be right. "I guess I'll take it."

"Alright then. Good. Now I think we breed to lay down some ground rules. If you're going to spend time with her, you need to get along with Mark."

"Why-"

"Shut up. This is not for me, or you, or Mark. It's for Emme. Whether you like it or not, he _is_ her daddy. He stepped up when you didn't, and she loves him like crazy. I'm not asking you to be best friends - I wouldn't object if you were, but I'm a realist - but you two need to get along. You can not be talking crap about him when you're with her, or him about you, and you two can't fight in front of her. Agreed?"

He exhales loudly. "Agreed."

"Good. Next, we need to back each other up. If I tell her no, you can't undermine my authority and say yes."

"Of course, I would never..."

She raises an eyebrow. "You sure about that? That was kind of a dick move the other day, with the otter…"

"Addie, no, I didn't...that's not what I was trying to do-"

"I told her no! If you saw the number of stuffed animals and dolls she already has, you'd understand."

"Look, I didn't mean to upset you. I just...this is a big thing she's doing for us. We just wanted to get her something, and I don't know what she has, or what she's interested in. I just knew that she wanted it and that it would make her happy, so I went back and got it. I didn't have any ulterior motives. I'm sorry. From now on I'll back you up."

"Okay." She's about to continue when a retching sound comes from the bedroom and she jumps up. She finds Cecilia convulsing and gets her on her side just in time for her to vomit again. "It's okay, baby. You're alright," she says soothingly as she strokes the girl's springy curls until the seizure stops a minute later, then moves her a bit and wipes her face with a clean corner of the sheet while she recovers.

"Epilepsy?" Derek is standing in the doorway watching them with a concerned expression.

She gives him a wry smile. "The joys of prematurity. It's pretty well controlled with medication, but she has breakthrough seizures once or twice a month. It's not a big deal, really, compared to everything else."

He gets a wet washcloth from the bathroom as Addison carefully removes Cecilia's soiled clothes, then sits on the other bed while she cleans the sleeping girl up a bit. "So, what happened? CP, epilepsy...anything else?"

"I had chorioamnionitis. My membranes ruptured prematurely, probably while I was in the shower because I had no clue it happened. I felt a little under the weather for a few days, then one morning I woke up with a fever and chills, my heart was racing...by the time we got to the hospital she was in distress so they had to deliver her. We were both septic and she had meningitis which was bad enough, and then when she was a week old she had a subdural hemorrhage. Just happens in micropreemies sometimes, you know. I lost count of how many times we almost lost her. You have no idea how lucky we are that she's not only still alive, but doing as well as she is."

Before he can respond she hears her phone ring in the other room. "Oh, shit. Can you grab that? It's Mark. I'm supposed to pick them up from the hospital when Emme's done."

He fetches the phone. "I can pick them up if you want," he offers as he hands it to her.

"You don't mind?"

"Not at all."

The phone has stopped ringing, so she calls Mark back and explains the situation. He sounds slightly less than thrilled but doesn't object. Soon they're all back at the hotel.

"Well, thanks for the ride. You want to come up?" Mark offers.

"No, I should be getting back to the hospital. I hope she's feeling better."

"Thanks. I'll see you around."

By the time they get upstairs, Addison has Cecilia, who still looks a bit drowsy but otherwise okay, in the tub. "There's my peanut," Mark says when he finds them. "You okay now, huh? You feel better?"

She just laughs and splashes him. "It only lasted a couple minutes. I didn't have to use the Diastat, she's fine," Addison assures him.

"You, on the other hand, look like hell," Mark informs her. "No offense."

"Hey, I went grocery shopping with a toddler and an infant, had an...interesting discussion with Derek, and had to deal with a seizure. I deserve a gold medal and a bottle of wine!" she claims with a laugh. "Although I'd settle for a cup of tea and a nap."

He pulls her to her feet. "You go right ahead. I got this."

"Are you sure? The baby will be up from her nap any time now…"

"I'll manage. Go."

She doesn't have to be told twice. She gives him a kiss and heads for the bedroom, where she falls asleep almost the instant her head hits the pillow.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey, lovelies! This was meant to be finished and posted last night, but yesterday I broke out in hives for some still-unknown reason and spent the evening in a Benadryl coma instead of writing. Apologies. I also spent a good part of today mainlining caffeine to offset another Benadryl coma so I could work, but I managed to finish this. I certainly hope it was worth the wait for all you angst fiends.**

The following morning Addison is awake early. Mark is behind her, one arm draped across her hip. She'd love to go back to sleep, his warm weight comforting against her, but she needs to put her mind at ease so she carefully disentangles herself and slips into the bathroom unnoticed.

She'd never gotten around to taking the tests the night before, so she locks the door and retrieves them from their hiding spot. With a plea for mercy sent out to whichever supreme being might be listening she opens the boxes, does her business, and waits impatiently for the results.

…..

It's her day to go to the hospital with Emme. She stuffs the tests in one of the grocery bags and disposes of them in the hotel lobby on their way out. _He'll never have to know anything about this,_ she thinks as she walks away, Emme skipping alongside her swinging her tote bag.

At the hospital she's surprised to find Doctor Rasgotra waiting for them instead of their usual nurse; it generally isn't a good sign when a doctor shows up to do what a nurse is perfectly capable of doing. "Doctor Rasgotra, everything okay?" she asks, trying for Emme's sake not to sound nervous.

The doctor gets Emme hooked up to the machine. "Doctor Montgomery, unfortunately we've not been able to collect as many stem cells as we'd hoped. Today's harvest should just get us to the bare minimum, but that is far from the ideal number. If you're available this afternoon I'd like to meet with all parties involved to come up with a new game plan."

Addison frowns and leans in to speak quietly with the doctor. "Is there something wrong with Emme? Why isn't she producing enough stem cells?"

"I assure you it's nothing to worry about. She had an extensive workup before we began, as I'm sure you recall, and she's as healthy as can be. Some patients just don't respond as well to the filgrastim, but there are other options."

"So, what are those other options?"

"We'll go over that this afternoon. See you at three?"

Addison sighs. "Yes, of course."

An hour later Addison has called Mark to inform him of the meeting, and Emme is playing with Addison's tablet. Addison is attempting to read a magazine and not worry about the upcoming meeting when two people enter the room and stop in front of her. She looks up from the tabloid to find Meredith and Cristina, steaming cups of coffee in hand. Her eyes shift from one to the other. "To what do I owe this honor, ladies?"

"Oh, we were just passing by on our way back from getting our caffeine fix," Meredith says casually, but Addison doesn't trust the smirks on either of their faces.

"The coffee cart is on the other side of the hospital. Why are you _really_ here?" Addison asks suspiciously.

"Cristina says you still haven't taken a test."

 _Well, I wasn't expecting that._ Addison glances at Emme; the girl is oblivious to her surroundings, headphones on and engrossed in her game. "That was yesterday."

"So, you _did_ take the test?"

"I did."

Meredith is clearly getting impatient. " _And_?"

"Why do you care?"

Meredith shrugs. "Riley's had a rough couple of days and I need someone else's problems to distract me for a while," she admits.

Addison rolls her eyes. "I see. Back to using me for my problems. Nice. Just so you know, I'm not going out to but you booze this time," she teases.

"So, _is_ there a problem?" Cristina prods.

She tries deflecting the question yet again. "You know this really isn't a healthy coping mechanism, right? A therapist would probably be more helpful."

"Oh, and not taking the test so you don't have to admit you're pregnant _is_ healthy?" Cristina challenges. "Come on. Help this poor, dark and twisty soul out. You knocked up or what?"

"You know what? Maybe _I_ don't like _you_ ," Addison shoots back good-naturedly, recalling Cristina's words from almost a week ago. "But yes. I can't deny it any more," she finally admits.

"Is Mark excited?" Meredith inquires.

"Oh, God, I didn't tell him! He always gets so excited. Gets this big, goofy grin on his face, starts making predictions about the gender, what they'll look like...I can't tell him I'm," she pauses to make sure Emme is still distracted, then lowers her voice, "pregnant, and then tell him I'm not keeping it. I'll just...he's supposed to go to a conference the week before Cece's surgery. I'll make an appointment, and... _take care of it_...and he'll never have to know."

"Okay, what were you saying about healthy coping mechanisms?" Cristina asks bluntly. "Look, I am all for the right to choose, and you definitely shouldn't keep it just because he wants it, but you should tell him. Just in case something goes wrong, or whatever."

It doesn't escape Addison that for once there's no trace of sarcasm or bitterness in Cristina's words and finds it oddly touching...or maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones. Still, she's not sure she can take the other woman's advice. "I don't know. But there's time. I have time to figure it out," she decides just as Meredith's phone rings. She's grateful for the distraction from the current discussion.

Meredith steps out into the hall to take the call and returns shortly. "That was Derek. He said Doctor Byrne just stopped by and wants us to meet this afternoon. You know anything about this?"

"Yeah. Doctor Rasgotra was waiting for us when we got here this morning. Apparently they're not getting enough stem cells, so we need to consider other options." Meredith looks somewhat terrified, so Addison feels the need to reassure her. "She says it's nothing to worry about. Maybe she'll want to do the bone marrow aspiration," she muses.

"You didn't want to do the bone marrow aspiration. How come?"

"She had her tonsils out when she was just barely two years old, and she had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. I know it's silly, because they could just use a different anesthetic and she'd probably be fine, but I get so nervous thinking about putting her under again. I mean, if we have to, we have to, but I'd like to avoid it if possible."

"It's not silly at all. I totally get it. I probably wouldn't want to do it either."

"But we will, if we have to," Addison assures Meredith. "So, how is Riley?"

"Not so good. The high-intensity chemo and radiation is kicking her ass. And she spiked a temp of a hundred and three yesterday. They have her on broad-spectrum antibiotics for now until the cultures come back and we know what she has. Hopefully they can nip it in the bud before it gets too bad. I should probably get back up there now. Derek's with her, but I hate leaving with her like that."

"Well, I hope she's feeling better soon. I'll see you later."

…..

Meredith returns to find Derek in the rocking chair with Riley sitting listlessly on one knee, a vomit-filled basin on the other, and a waste paper basket filled with bloodstained tissues on the floor next to him. She gets a washcloth and wipes her daughter's pale, sweaty face before pulling up a chair. "She's still burning up," she notes sadly and he nods slowly as he stares straight ahead, eyes bloodshot with exhaustion and underlined with dark circles.

"She hasn't improved at all since yesterday." He pauses when she starts to gag and thrusts the basin in front of her just in time for her to vomit. She retches at least a half dozen times before she's done and leans back against him, too exhausted to even cry.

Meredith wipes her face again. "My poor little pumpkin. You want me to take her for a while?" she offers, as he had stayed up all night with her. "You can go home and take a shower if you want."

"Wouldn't mind stretching my legs and getting something to eat," he admits as they change positions. "But I'm not going home yet." He empties the basin and rinses it out before handing it to Meredith, and kisses the top of Riley's head. "I'll be back soon, pumpkin."

…..

A few hours later they're all gathered around the conference table once more - the little ones thankfully napping in the stroller, Emmeline on Mark's lap, playing with her little plastic otters - when the doctor enters.

"Okay, the reason I've asked you all here today is that unfortunately, we have not been able to collect as many stem cells as I would like. As of today we just hit the bare minimum needed to attempt the transplant, but as I stated in our first meeting we really prefer to have much more to assure success. At this point, we have two options...we can do a bone marrow aspiration, or we can try another course of the filgrastim with the addition of plerixafor followed by another attempt at PBSC harvest."

"Okay, so what is this...plerixafor?" Addison asks.

"It's another drug used for mobilizing stem cells. It is highly effective and, used with the filgrastim, should yield a satisfactory number of cells within a couple days."

"And what are the side-" Addison starts, only to have her ex-husband speak over the top of her.

"If the plerixafor is so effective, why didn't you use it the first time?" Derek asks, annoyed that they could have potentially avoided this delay in Riley's treatment.

"For starters, the price is too high in comparison to the filgrastim to justify it's use as a first-line treatment."

Derek is clearly more than annoyed now. "Do you think we care about the _cost_? This is my daughter's _life_ we're talking about here!"

"Well, that isn't the only issue. It hasn't been cleared yet as a standard treatment in pediatric patients. This would be an off-label use," Doctor Rasgotra explains.

"Okay, wait a minute. You want to use an experimental treatment on my kid?" Mark butts in loudly.

"It's not experimental. It has been proven to be safe and effective and is approved for use in adults. There just haven't been enough controlled studies done in children to determine the safety of the drug, but it has been used in a limited number of children as a second-line treatment in cases where filgrastim alone failed to mobilize the number of stem cells necessary for an autologous transplant."

Mark shakes his head furiously. "But this isn't an autologous transplant. In those cases, the patients themselves benefited from the use of this drug. Emme isn't sick. She's not going to benefit from it, and I don't think we can justify the potential risks of an experimental treatment here. I think the bone marrow harvest would be a better option."

"No, no, no. There is faster engraftment and a higher two-year survival rate with the PBSC transplant compared to a bone marrow transplant," Derek informs the group, clearly having done some research on the matter. "I really think the plerixafor is the best option."

"Well _we_ don't necessarily agree. And quite frankly, I'm not interested in putting my kid through five more days of injections, an experimental treatment, and who knows how many more days hooked up to that machine! I say do the bone marrow aspiration and get it over with."

"Well, it isn't up to you, is it?" Derek challenges. "And Addison wanted to avoid putting Emme under anesthesia."

"Don't you use me as an excuse to get your way," Addison snaps. "Mark is right, I don't know if I want to put her through all this again."

Derek smacks his palms on the table and stands up, face red and eyes wild. "Oh, come on! Five shots is _nothing_ compared to what Riley is going through right now. Nothing! I want to proceed with the peripheral stem cell harvest."

"And I don't," Mark counters.

"You really think your opinion matters here, Mark?"

Meredith tugs on her husband's sleeve, trying to get him to sit down. "Derek…" she warns. He brushes her off.

Mark sets Emme aside and jumps to his feet. "It matters a hell of a lot more than yours. _My_ daughter isn't a goddamn guinea pig! We do the bone marrow aspiration or nothing."

"Really? What makes you think you get the final say in this? Or any say at all?."

"Derek, that's enough!"

Derek points at Mark. "You do _not_ get a say in this. You are not her father! I am, God damn it, and I say we try the plerixafor!"

"Derek, what the hell is wrong with you?" Meredith yells, near tears, as Addison gasps.

Everybody else is stunned and silent by now - except Angelina and Cecilia, who are awake and crying, frightened by the shouting - none more so than Emmeline as her eyes dart from Mark to Derek.

"Okay, you know what? You're gonna regret that, because we're done here. _Done_. We're going home." Mark grabs Emme and heads for the door. "Come on, Addison."

"But Mark-"

"But nothing! We're leaving."

Addison shoots Derek a deadly glare. "I hope you're happy," she spits before grabbing the stroller and hurrying to catch up with Mark.

"Addie, wait!" Derek yells. He tries to follow her, but Meredith grabs him. "I'm calling my lawyer!"

"Stop it! Don't you think you've caused enough trouble already? I can't believe you!" She smacks him a few times before taking off for oncology. He follows her but she turns to glare at him. "No. I'm going to see Riley. You can go...I don't really care where you go, as long as it isn't in the same room as me because if I have to look at you any longer, I'm going to kill you."

He stops dead in his tracks, and she hurries up to oncology where she finds Cristina pacing the floor as Riley wails, her voice starting to get hoarse. "Oh, thank God you're back," Cristina mutters as she thrusts Riley at Meredith. "She would not stop crying. You know I love my godchild but I can only take so much of the crying. Oh, Mer, no. Don't do that. Please don't cry. Who do I need to kill?"

Meredith takes a few deep breaths and tries to pull herself together. "They're leaving. We don't have enough stem cells, and they're going back to New York."

"What? Why? Call Addison. She seems reasonable. And she's a neonatal surgeon. She's a sucker for babies. Call her. Or give me her number and I'll call her."

"It's not Addison that's the problem. It's Mark. Derek wants to continue the PBSC harvest, but Mark would only agree to a bone marrow aspiration, so Derek basically started a pissing match and yelled that he's Emme's father, not Mark. In front of Emme. And then they left."

"Oh. Shit, you're screwed. Can't say I blame them...I _will_ blame them anyways, because I'm on your side, obviously, but I'd be seriously pissed if I was them. So where is McDouchey now?"

"I don't know. I told him I didn't want to see him."

…..

They're barely out of the hospital parking lot before Addison's phone starts ringing. _Derek_. She hits ignore. _Dr. Rasgotra._ Ignore. Some number she doesn't recognize - this time she just turns the phone off and shoves it in her purse. When they get to their hotel room the little ones are still crying; Emme is still speechless, looking disturbingly shell-shocked. Finally she looks at her parents. "He's lying, right? Derek's not my daddy. Right?"

Addison is sitting on the couch with a screaming baby. "Emme, sweetie, let me just feed the baby, and then we'll talk."

"Tell me now."

"Emme-"

"Tell me!" With a savage growl, Emme kicks at Cecilia's tower of rainbow-colored stacking cups on the floor; Mark cringes as one narrowly misses Angelina's head and another bounces off the window.

Mark reaches for her arm. "Come on, kiddo, just sit down-"

She jerks away. "I'm not sitting down! Just tell me!"

"Em-"

She knocks a bowl of Goldfish and a stack of picture books off the coffee table. "Tell me!"

"Emmeline, you need to calm down right now," Mark says in his no-nonsense tone, calm but firm. She's still wild-eyed and breathing hard, looking around for something else to kick or throw, so he picks her up; she fights him, but he holds her in a bear hug until she tires herself out. Once she's still Addison speaks.

"Okay, honey, you know how your friend Philip lives with his mommy, but he visits his daddy on the weekends because his parents are divorced?" Emme nods, but is clearly confused because they're not talking about Philip, they're talking about her, and Derek, and Mark, and _what does Philip have to do with anything?_ "Well, Derek and I used to be married. But then we...got in a fight, and we got divorced. And when he left, you were just a tiny little baby in my tummy, but we didn't even know it yet and he moved out here to Seattle. So, yes. Derek is your father-"

"No!"

"Emme-"

"No! He's not my daddy!" By now her lip is trembling, tears threatening to spill down her flushed cheeks as she turns to face Mark. " _You're_ my daddy. Not Derek. I don't want Derek!"

"Love bug, I will always be your daddy, but he is your father."

"You're a liar! You're both liars!" Emme manages to escape his grasp and runs to her room, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the windows.

…..

The rest of the day is fraught with tension, and the little ones seem to pick up on it. Cecilia is clingy and whiny, and refuses to eat the dinner they ordered from room service so Mark eventually gives in and lets her have applesauce and Goldfish; Angelina goes into hysterics any time Addison attempts to put her down. Emme hides under the covers crying and screams any time Addison or Mark tries to talk to her, so they reluctantly leave her alone. Eventually Emme cries herself to sleep, and after what seems like an eternity they finally manage to get the other two down for the night. When Addison tucks them in she notices that Emme's otter, which once held a place of prominence in her bed, has been discarded in a corner.

As soon as the kids are in bed Mark takes Addison by the elbow and steers her to their bedroom. "We're not doing it. We're going home."

"But what about the baby?"

"Forget the baby! That jackass doesn't care about our kid, why should we worry about his? They got the minimum number of stem cells needed. That's going to have to be enough."

"It's not her fault."

"It's not Emme's fault either! She's miserable, and heartbroken-"

"And she'll be miserable and heartbroken whether she's here, or in New York. She still has the PICC line in, it's not going to hurt her to continue."

"Unbelievable. Whose side are you on, Addison?"

"I'm not on anyone's side! But I will never be able to live with myself if that baby does."

"That baby is not your responsibility. Emme is!"

"But Mark-"

"But nothing! Okay, look. I know that for whatever reason, you still feel guilty for what we did, but you can't just offer your child up like a sacrificial lamb to atone for your sins. And you shouldn't have to. You screwed up but you know what? He did too. He was a shitty husband, at least the last few years, and you owe him nothing. You just want everyone to get along and like you, and do whatever it takes to achieve that, but where does it get you? Nowhere. Especially in this situation, because as soon as that baby is better, he'll have no use for either of you. Maybe you can handle that, but can Emme? She's not even my kid, according to that jackass at least, but I'm the only one looking out for her best interests. You're not, because apparently you're too busy trying to get back on his good side, and Derek sure the hell isn't. There's only one kid he's trying to protect, and according to him I don't get a say in this so Emme needs you to look out for her. Grow a fucking spine and quit trying to win his forgiveness at the expense of your daughter."

Before she can put together a coherent thought, he's out the door. Her first instinct is to run after him, but she can't leave the girls alone so she stays.

She returns to her room and turns her phone back on for the first time since that afternoon, and it explodes with notifications. Missed calls, voicemails, text messages from Derek, Meredith, Doctor Rasgotra, Riley's oncologist, even Richard. With a sigh she scrolls through her contacts and her finger hovers above one name. She hesitates, knowing that no matter what she does she's going to pay a price, but knows what she has to do. Swallowing hard, she clicks on the name and waits for the person to answer. "Meredith, I am so sorry…"


	13. Chapter 13

***Second chapter added since last night, so make sure you read chapter 12 before you read this!**

Addison is barely off the phone with Meredith when it starts ringing again. _Derek_. Ignore. _Richard_. Ignore. They will all know her decision soon enough but now, she's too tired to deal with anyone. She tries calling Mark, the one person she wants to talk to, but he doesn't answer and she wonders where he is, how many drinks he's had by now.

She gets ready for bed and slips beneath the covers, but sleep won't come. Her mind is overrun by the day's bizarre turn of events, and two little girls caught up in a mess they had no part in creating - one feeling confused and betrayed, the other fighting for a life she's hardly had the chance to live. Both hurting in different ways, both deserving so much better.

After nearly two hours of tossing and turning she almost falls asleep, just to be jolted into full consciousness by the sound of Emme crying. She waits for Emme to come running in the way she always does when she's had a nightmare or an accident or isn't feeling well, but the girl doesn't come so she gets up and pads to the other room and sits on the edge of the bed. "Emme, come here, baby," She murmurs, but Emme just rolls over and curls into a tight little ball.

Addison's heart shatters all over again. Emme may not _want_ her,comfort right now, but she certainly needs it and she's done leaving her daughter to cry it out alone. With some difficulty,she picks Emme up, ignoring the wetness that soaks into her own pajamas, and brings her to the master bedroom. It takes a while but eventually the girl gives in, stops struggling and wraps her lanky arms around her mother's neck. Despite Addison's best attempts Emme isn't ready to talk, so Addison just rubs circles on her back and whispers soothingly in her ear.

After a while she's calm. Addison brings her to the bathroom and sits her on the toilet,while she runs a bath. Finally Emme speaks up; her thoughts and feelings may be too much of a jumbled mess to get out right now, but she knows damn well she's supposed to keep her PICC line dry. "Wh...what are you doing?"

"You need a bath. And it always makes you feel better. Come here." She reaches an arm out as the calming scent of lavender fills the room, but Emme recoils.

"But I'm not supposed to! I can't get this wet!"

Addison has to laugh a little. Always a stickler for the rules, this one. "It's okay. We'll be careful, I promise. It'll be alright, come on."

Emme hesitantly slides off the toilet and allows Addison to strip off her wet clothes. Addison sets her in the tub,and puts a folded towel on the edge. "Put your arm up here and it'll stay dry." Emme complies, and Addison begins washing her. She starts with her face, erasing the tear stains coursing down her daughter's ruddy cheeks, and works her way down to thin, stiff shoulders. She works them over and over with the warm, soapy washcloth and feels the tension melt away, sees Emme being lulled into a more relaxed state. She can tell Emme wants to say something but doesn't push it, just waits for Emme to build up the courage to speak.

Addison works her way down to Emme's toes before that happens. "So, Derek is my _real_ dad, and daddy...isn't my real dad."

"Sweetheart, you remember how Philip's mommy got married last summer, and now Andy is Philip's stepfather? Well, Derek is your father and Mark is your stepfather. But that doesn't mean he's not your daddy." Emme looks terribly confused about this. "Sweetheart, do you love Mark?"

"Yeah."

"Does he love you? And take good care of you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's what a daddy does. So he's still your daddy."

"Derek doesn't take care of me," Emme muses. Addison inhales sharply and waits for a _why_ that, thankfully, doesn't come. It will someday, she's sure, but they'll cross that bridge when they get to it. "So he's not my daddy. And you're still my real mommy?"

"I am. You grew right here in my belly, you know that."

Emme knows a lot of things, but she's not sure about any of them right now. "Is daddy Annie and Cece's real dad?"

"Yes."

"And you're their real mom." This isn't a question. She watched Addison's belly grow, felt her sisters kick from inside. "So are they my real sisters?"

The discussion about half-siblings can wait for now. "Yes, they're your real sisters." For whatever reason this relieves Emme. "And you know who else is your sister?"

Emme's relief turns to confusion. "Who?"

"Riley."

"No she isn't!" Addison tries to correct her but Emme turns away, and Addison has to grab her arm to keep it from falling in the water. "I don't want her to be my sister." Addison is trying to think of how to diffuse the situation, but Emme changes the subject. "Daddy's not here. Where is he?"

 _Shit_. "I don't know."

"You were fighting. He's mad at you." Apparently Emme wasn't sleeping earlier. "Is he coming back?"

"Baby, I don't know. What I do know is that he loves you. Even if he's mad at me, he's not mad at you, and he still loves you. He's always going to love you, okay?"

"You promise?"

"I promise." They both glance up to see Mark standing in the doorway, looking considerably worse than when he left.

"Daddy!" Emme's on the verge of tears again as she reaches up to him. "You did come back."

He grabs a towel and lifts her out of the tub. "I did come back," he affirms. "And I'm never going to leave you, or your sisters. Or your mommy."

Relief washes over Addison, though it's short-lived. He might take it back when she breaks the news to him.

For now, though, they focus on Emme. She rounds up clean pajamas and he gets her dressed. There are more questions, and a few tears, but eventually they tuck her into the center of their bed. Once she's asleep, her breaths deep and even, Mark nods towards the other room. She follows him out and they fall into the couch, his arm around her waist and her head on his shoulder. "How much of that did you hear?" she asks as she runs a hand across his thigh.

"Enough to know that I'm Emme's daddy and Derek isn't," he says, and she can hear his smirk. "Addison, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Well, I did mean some of it. You do blame yourself for the affair, and even after all this time you continue to punish yourself for it. But you're not the only one at fault, and maybe...maybe we need to try therapy or something, so you can learn to let it go.

But you're not selfish. I know you're not just doing this so Derek will forgive you. You're doing it because you're kind, and compassionate, and because you don't believe that little girl should pay for your mistakes, or his. And that is one of the things I love about you, so if you still want to help her, I'm not going to stop you."

She pulls back a little to look at his face and lets out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "I, um, I already called Meredith. We're meeting with Doctor Rasgotra first thing tomorrow morning - just you and I, not Derek or Meredith or the oncologist trying to pressure us into anything - to go over both options. I didn't commit to anything, I just said we'd talk about it. Meredith even said she'll try to get one of her friends to watch the girls while we do that."

He chuckles a little. "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me one bit." He pulls her close again and kisses her forehead. "I love you, Red. You do what you gotta do, and whatever that is I will always be here for you and our three girls."

She corrects him softly. "Four."

"For what?"

She takes a deep breath. "Four girls. Well, maybe not four _girls_ , because it's too early tell, but-"

This time he's the one who pulls away, and the corners of his lips slowly curl up. "Wait a minute. Are you saying-"

"I'm pregnant."

"But we've only had sex once since Annie was born! Not that I'm complaining, I know you were recovering from the c section..." he adds hastily.

"Well, like they tell you in sex ed, it only takes one time." She leans back and smiles as she remembers that night a month and a half ago.

" _Mark, what is this?" She'd come home after a busy afternoon of doctor and therapy appointments with the girls to find a red dress laid out on their bed, and stalked to the master bath where Mark was freshly showered and brushing his teeth._

" _Put it on. We're going out."_

" _But-"_

" _But nothing. It's our anniversary. Savvy and Weiss are coming to stay with the kids. I made dinner reservations and booked us a hotel room."_

" _But the baby-"_

" _Will be fine. You've pumped more than enough to get her through the night. We'll come home right after breakfast."_

 _The idea of a night away with no one waking up to be fed is enticing, and his boyish grin in irresistible. She gives in without a fight._

"My boys are good swimmers," he brags, and she elbows him in the ribs.

"This has nothing to do with your swimmers! Okay, maybe a _little_ to do with your swimmers, but mostly it's me. Apparently I'm the most fertile woman on the planet! There's no way I should have gotten pregnant! I'm breastfeeding, and haven't gotten my period back yet...okay, I'm an OB/GYN, and I've seen enough women who _shouldn't_ have gotten pregnant to know you can't count on not getting pregnant just because you're breastfeeding and not menstruating, but you got me drunk-"

He bursts out laughing. "That's _my_ fault? You had two and a half glasses of champagne!"

"I haven't had anything more than an occasional glass of wine in over three years, because I've been either trying to conceive, pregnant, or nursing that whole time! My tolerance isn't what it used to be," she admits before leaning back with a sigh.

He studies her face. "You're not excited."

"I'm not." She stares at the ceiling, willing herself not to tear up. "I love kids, you know I do. And I love being pregnant. But the timing is just terrible. There's so much going on with Cece, and Annie will only be a year old. She already gets the short end of the stick...I'm so busy with Cecilia that I don't get to spend nearly as much time with her as I did with the other two when they were babies, and another one will only take more time away from her. And there's this whole mess. What if Derek does sue for custody? I honestly don't think I can handle the stress of going to court over that while I'm pregnant." She pauses to catch her breath and stares down at her lap. "I wasn't going to tell you. I was going to wait til you go to that conference, and...terminate it, and not even tell you."

"But you did." He reaches for her hand, rubs circles on the back of it with his thumb.

"I did. Because you deserve to know, and too many people have been hurt by secrets already."

"Thank you for telling me." He thinks for a minute before turning to face her. "So you're six, seven weeks along. We have time. Let's just get through this mess here, and we'll talk about it when we get home. And...whatever you decide, I'll support you,one hundred percent."

"So, you're not mad?"

"I'm...a little disappointed," he admits, "but you're right. The circumstances aren't ideal, and if you can't do it, you can't do it. I won't hold it against you."

She leans forward and kisses his cheek. "Thank you."


	14. Chapter 14

**PSA: I updated twice in under 24 hours Saturday night/Sunday morning, so the story never moved to the top of the page the second time. Go back and read chapter 13 before you read this, if you missed it!**

 **Also, shout out to MerDer2015 for the backup! Please, grumpy guest, if you could point me in the direction of the story I am supposedly copying, that would be swell. It would really save me a lot of time finishing up these last few chapters...**

Six days later, Addison and Emme enter the hospital to begin the next round of apheresis. Emme has her beloved green juice, the latest in a long line of bribes offered by Addison in exchange for good behavior - but after a hectic morning Addison needs a caffeine fix, pregnancy be damned, so they head for the coffee cart.

"Emme, come _on_ , you promised to be good!" Addison practically whines as she turns to look at the child dragging her feet behind her, which causes her to bump into someone. "Oh, God, I am so sorry!" she stammers before realizing her victim is Meredith. "Meredith! I'm sorry-"

"No, it's fine. I wasn't looking where I was going, either," Meredith insists before smiling and waving at Emme.

Emme gives Meredith a blank stare and slurps her juice loudly, then buries her face in Addison's side when Addison prompts her to say hello.

"Oh, this one is in a mood today," Addison says before ordering her coffee. "You on your way up to see Riley?"

"No, it's Derek's turn with her," Meredith laments. "We're kind of not talking - or even peacefully coexisting in the same room - right now, but I hate leaving when Riley's so sick, so I just lurk around the hospital. It's pathetic but I look at him and I want to rip his face off, and I can't hang out with my friends because they're all in surgery, so...I lurk."

"Well, if you'd like some company, you're welcome to lurk with us," Addison offers, and she could swear Emme growls in response.

If she did, Meredith doesn't take note and accepts the offer. They get their coffee and head for the apheresis unit, Addison steering a noncompliant Emme with a hand on her back the whole way.

Emme gives the nurse a healthy dose of sass, but is eventually distracted enough by Addison's tablet and a set of headphones that the nurse can get her hooked up.

"I'd ask how she's doing, but I don't think I need to," Meredith says once Emme is settled and engrossed in her game.

"She's a trainwreck," Addison answers bluntly. "There are a lot of questions, and a _lot_ of tears, she's clingy, and moody, _obviously_ , she's been wetting the bed, doesn't sleep for shit...but we'll get through it. It's just going to take some time, and patience, and a whole lot of love...and probably years of therapy…"

"I can't even imagine what's going through her head. I just feel so awful-"

"Meredith, don't. You had nothing to do with this. This is on Derek...and me. I should have told her a long time ago. But what was I supposed to say? 'Well, Em, you have a father out there somewhere, but he wants nothing to do with you?' But what's done is done. No sense in obsessing over what-ifs. So, how's Riley?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Better. Turned out she had a fungal infection. The treatment is brutal, but she finally turned the corner. The doctor says she should be fine to go ahead with the transplant."

"Oh, that's great!"

"Yeah, it is. I was so worried they'd have to delay it. So, how's Emme doing with that new drug? I know you guys were worried about the side effects."

Addison grimaces. "The bone pain seems to be a lot worse. She was up screaming at two AM, but it's manageable with Tylenol. And did I mention she's been moody?"

The two women continue making small talk for an hour or so before Emme pulls her headphones off and shoves the tablet at Addison. "I'm sick of this. Why is she still here?"

"Emme, I know you're upset, but that's no excuse to be rude. Say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry." She clearly isn't.

"Maybe I should go…"

"No, you're fine. Emme, why don't you color a picture for Riley," Addison suggests as she pulls a brand new coloring book out of her bag.

Emme sends the coloring book and crayons flying. "I'm not coloring her a picture! I hate her!"

"Emme, we don't use that word."

I don't care. I hate her!"

Other patients and their families are starting to stare. Addison's cheeks burn red with embarrassment as she draws the curtain around them. "Emmeline, I know you're upset, but it's not Riley's fault. You don't hate her. Let's see if we can come up with some different words to describe how you're feeling."

"But that _is_ how I feel. I ha-"

"Emmeline Beatrice Shepherd, that is enough!" Addison says firmly. "Riley didn't do anything to you. Do you think maybe you're mad at someone else and you're taking it out on her?"

"No, it's all her fault, 'cause she's sick. I wanna go home. I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna do this any more, an' I don't wanna miss my birthday!"

Meredith looks at Addison in surprise. _When?_ she mouths.

 _Thursday._ Two days from now, when Emme is tentatively scheduled for the final day of the harvest, and Riley will get her transplant. "Sweetie, you're not missing your birthday. We just have to move your party to another day, that's all. But we'll have cake and ice cream here."

"But Aunt Savvy promised to take me to the American Girl store!" Emme argues.

"She'll still take you, just a different day," Addison insists, but Emme can't hear her because suddenly she's sobbing uncontrollably

"See? Moody," Addison whispers to Meredith with a shake of her head while rooting around in her purse. "Emme, come on honey. Let's try your new nail polish," she suggests.

"No!" Emme barks, but her face gives her away as she sneaks a glance at the two little bottles Addison let her pick out at the drugstore the day before, yet another bribe for good behavior. One is a bright coral pink, the other gold glitter.

"Okay, I guess I'll just do my own. Lord knows I'm overdue for a manicure…" Addison mutters.

"No, do mine!" Emme demands, as Addison knew she would, with a sniffle. She thrusts one hand in front of her mother. "Please? Do mine first!"

"Well, if you insist." Addison gets up and finds a rolling table, which she slides across Emme's lap and lines with paper towels.

"Okay, I really do need to get going. Maybe tomorrow you can show me your nails?"

Emme gives Meredith a withering glance. "I don't think so."

"Emmeline! Do you want to go out to lunch when we're done, or do you want to go back to the hotel and take a nap?"

"Lunch…"

"Okay, then I need you to find your manners and start using them right now. Got it?"

Emme exhales loudly. "Fine, you can come see my nails tomorrow."

…..

A little later Meredith goes upstairs to trade places with Derek. He hands Riley over wordlessly and is almost to the door before Meredith speaks. "You know, you really did a number on that little girl," she chastises softly.

He whips around to face her. "You saw her?"

"I did. She's a mess. That sweet, funny little kid is an absolute disaster! I don't know how you're going to fix this, Derek. She clearly doesn't like me anymore - and she says she hates Riley. They're sisters, they should be friends, but she hates her! Oh, and you probably don't know - or care - but her birthday is Thursday, and she's heartbroken that she'll be spending it here instead of home with her friends. Which would have happened whether you opened your big mouth or not, but she'd probably be handling it better if she wasn't such a train wreck!"

"I didn't mean to. It just came out. They were going to take her-"

"No they weren't! They were never going to leave. They just wanted to discuss their options with the doctor, but you wouldn't let them!"

"I panicked, okay? I was afraid that we weren't going to get enough stem cells, and I panicked. I would take it back in a heartbeat, if I could."

"Well, you can't, so good luck figuring out how to fix it."

…..

When Emme's procedure was over, Mark picked them up and they went to a deli for lunch. They ordered soup and sandwiches, and the waitress brought their drinks while they waited.

"Hey! That's mine!" Emme squealed when she noticed Cecilia had one of her small princess figurines. She lunged across the table to grab it, knocking over her chocolate milk in the process.

"Oh, come on, Em!" Mark snapped as he grabbed a fistful of napkins and started mopping up the mess. Emme promptly burst into tears.

Addison kicked him under the table. "Emme, it's okay. It was an accident. We'll get you some more, please don't cry," she begged. She helped Mark get Emme and the table,cleaned up, then turned to see Cecilia with a finger up her nose. "Cee, don't pick your nose!"

Cecilia pulls her finger out and examines it, then waves it in front of her mother's face. "It's yucky!"

"Yes, it is yucky," Addison agrees as she wipes the booger off with a napkin. "Don't do it again." Just as she's wondering what else could go wrong, the waitress appears with their food.

Everyone settles down and eats quietly until Cecilia breaks the silence by passing gas. "I tooted!" she announces, loud enough for half the restaurant to hear, before erupting into a fit of giggles.

Mark does a poor job of hiding an amused chuckle behind his napkin while Emme cracks up and Addison gives the toddler _the look_. "Cecilia, what do you say?" she prompts while kicking Mark under the table again.

Cecilia thinks for a moment. "Uh-scuze me, I tooted!"

Addison sighs and resumes eating, only to have Cecilia pass gas again and laugh hysterically. She suddenly gets very serious a minute later, though. "Oh, dat's not toots! Dada, it's poopy!" she whines while shifting uncomfortably. "Dada, _hewp me_ , it's poopy!"

"Yes, _dada_ , help her," Addison says sweetly as she passes him the diaper bag.

"Me? How do I always get stuck with this?" Mark asks with mock seriousness as he picks Cecilia up. "You owe me, kid. Big time." He heads for the bathroom just as Angelina wakes up and spits up all down the front of her outfit.

Addison just buries her head in her hands and groans. "Someone remind me again why we take them anywhere?"

 **Okay guys, we're heading into the home stretch! Just a few more chapters, plus the epilogue. Let me know what you think!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey hey hey! Glad you all love Cecilia (how can you not?) and that you're interested in a sequel, because there is one planned. You have to be patient, because I have 2 WIPs that I want to get back to before I start, but it will happen. Let me know what you want to see in it!**

Thursday begins with a pancake breakfast and a few gifts for Emme's birthday before she and Addison head to the hospital. She's still not thrilled about the current situation, but a phone call from Savvy promising that they will still go to the American Girl store when Emme returns puts her in slightly better spirits.

They watch a movie to kill some time, then Emme peruses the American Girl website on Addison's tablet. She's trying to decide which doll to get when she goes shopping with Savvy when Addison's phone rings.

"Mark?...what?...how did that happen?...okay...okay...yeah, I'll meet you there." Trying to stay calm, she turns to Emme. "Sweetie, I have to make a phone call. I'll just be out in the hall, okay?" Emme barely looks up from the tablet.

First she dials Meredith. No answer. Next Richard and then George, who watched the girls while they met with Doctor Rasgotra and seemed to be good with kids. Both were in surgery. She tries Meredith again, and still gets no answer. With a scowl she dials her absolute last choice.

Derek is rocking Riley when his phone rings. "Addison?"

"Is Meredith with you? I tried calling but she didn't answer."

The edge to her voice is concerning. "Addie, what's wrong?"

"I called Richard, but he's in surgery, and so is George-"

By now Derek is totally confused. "Why would you call George?"

"Because the kids like him. Now, do you know where Meredith is or not?"

He can tell she's close to crying by now. "Addie, calm down and tell me what's wrong."

"Mark is on his way to the ER with Cece and Emme still has a few hours of apheresis left so I need someone to sit with her."

"Okay, hang on. I'm coming down right now."

"But she hates you. And what about Riley?"

Before she finishes speaking the line is dead. Five minutes later he rushes into the room to find Emme on the verge of tears. "But I don't want him! Go away!" she yells when she spots him.

"Baby, I'm sorry. He'll sit over there," she points to a chair about ten feet away, "and you don't even have to talk to him, okay? It's only for a little while, until I make sure Cece's okay. Then I'll be back, I promise."

She heads for the door and motions for him to follow. "I am only allowing this because I don't have a choice. I swear to God, if you fuck this up I will kill you. I mean it this time," she warns him ferociously.

"I won't. I promise. What happened to Cecilia?"

"I'm not even sure. They were getting in an ambulance, and the baby was crying, but he said something about her falling and hitting her head, and a seizure...but an _ambulance_? It can't be good…"

"Addie, I'm sure it's not as bad as it sounds. Now go. We'll be fine."

She shoots one last worried look at Emme before rushing off. Derek reenters the room and takes his seat.

Emme catches him looking at her, and hurls her uneaten pudding cup in his direction; her aim is surprisingly good for someone who only just turned five and most of her snack ends up on his shirt. "Don't look at me! I don't want you here!"

"Emme, I'm so sor-"

"Stop talking! I hate you!" she yells before bursting into tears as she reaches for the PICC line.

Derek is out of his seat in a flash, but the nurse is quicker. It takes a while, but eventually the nurse convinces the distraught child not to pull it out and gets her to calm down a bit as Derek watches helplessly.

…..

Addison runs to the ER and locates her husband and children; it's not hard because Angelina, dressed in her swimsuit and wrapped in a damp beach towel, is wailing at the top of her lungs. Cecilia is on a gurney convulsing, an oxygen mask concealing her bloodied face, as Mark stares in horror. The attending barks orders as nurses and residents administer drugs through an IV, draw blood, and prep her for a lumbar puncture. "Mark? Honey, what happened?"

 _He and the girls have been in the pool for close to two hours when the baby starts crying. "Come on, Cee, time to get out," he announces. "I think your sister's hungry."_

" _No! I fimmin'!"_

" _No, we're all done swimming." She tries to get away, but he easily grabs her and lifts her out despite her raucous protest. Once out of the pool he deposits her in a chair and sits down to get the baby dried off. A flash of movement catches his eye, and he looks over just in time to watch her hit the cement floor._

 _An onlooker takes the baby and he rushes to turn Cecilia on her side and cushion her head with a towel as she convulses. After five minutes she's still seizing, so he administers the Diastat they carry for emergencies. Five more minutes pass with no change; someone calls 911 and before he knows it he's being herded into an ambulance._

"It's all my fault. I shouldn't have taken my eyes off of her." He shivers a bit standing in the air conditioned room in his still-damp swim trunks as Addison takes the baby and tries to quiet her.

"How long has she been seizing?" she asks as she sways and shushes, her eyes never leaving Cecilia.

"I..I don't know. Almost half an hour now?"

"Oh, God…"

…..

Emme's still sniffling and refusing to make eye contact with Derek when his phone rings. He barely gets out a greeting before his wife is yelling at him.

"What did you do this time?" she practically screams.

"What? I didn't do anything!"

"Then why is Addison calling me? I got out of the shower and had two missed calls from her. She didn't leave a message, but I can only imagine it's because you did something stupid again."

"Okay, I deserve that, but you're wrong. Mark called and said he was on his way to the ER with Cecilia. She was looking for someone to sit with Emme."

"Oh. Did she find someone?"

"I'm with her."

"Then who's with Riley?"

"Lexie."

"Oh. Okay, um, I'm on my way."

…..

When Meredith arrives in the ER fifteen minutes later, the seizure still hasn't stopped and the attending is intubating Cecilia. "Here, I'll take her," she offers, reaching for the still-crying baby as Addison fills her in.

Derek and Emme both look up when Meredith enters the apheresis room with Angelina. "Mer, what's going on?"

She answers calmly, though she looks concerned. "Status epilepticus, over forty-five minutes. They just intubated and started her on a midazolam infusion."

Derek swears under his breath but maintains his composure, so as to not frighten Emme and more than she already is. "Wait, what are you doing?" he asks when Meredith suddenly thrusts the baby at him.

"She's freezing. Get her out of that swimsuit and I'll be right back." She runs off and returns shortly with a clean diaper and a couple of receiving blankets. "One of us should probably get upstairs," she says once Angelina is dry and warm. "I know Lexie has surgery this afternoon."

"You go. We'll finish up here and go find Addison and Mark." He paces the room patting the baby's back, but she doesn't stop crying; he's pretty sure what she wants is the one thing he can't provide, so he just keeps walking and patting, patting and walking, until Emme speaks up, her voice small and scared.

"You're doing it wrong," she chastises.

"What do you mean?"

She rolls her eyes and motions for him to sit next to her. "She likes this," she informs him as she reaches over to rub her baby sister's back. It doesn't do much good, though, and the baby's hysteria seems to be rubbing off on Emme. "I wanna see my sister," she squeaks out before bursting into tears. "What's wrong with Cece? I wanna see her."

"She had a seizure."

"But she never goes to the hospital when she has a seizure. How come she's here?"

"Well, it lasted a bit longer than usual. But don't worry, they're taking good care of her."

"But she's never been here! Her doctor isn't here! What if they don't know what to do?"

She's staring at her lap, tears running down her cheeks and dotting the blanket that covers her. He reaches out hesitantly and tilts her chin up, and is surprised when she doesn't jerk away. "Look at me, Emme. She's going to be okay. The doctors here are really, really good. They're taking good care of her."

"How do you know?"

"Because I work here. And so does Meredith. I know all the doctors here, and they're the best."

"For real?"

"For real."

This calms Emme a bit. Finally she's finished with the procedure, and they head to the ER. Riley will be starting her transplant soon, and he hates that he's not there for it, but he tries to push that to the back of his mind for the time being.

In the ER, he's informed that Cecilia has been sent up to the PICU. They go upstairs and find Addison and Mark in the waiting room. "They just took her for a CT scan and MRI," Addison informs him as she reaches for the baby and sits down to nurse; Angelina is quiet for the first time in hours as she begins suckling greedily. Mark scoops Emme up into a bear hug. "The seizure lasted almost ninety minutes. They're going to keep her on the midazolam infusion-"

"For twenty-four hours, and keep her at least another twenty-four hours after that for observation," he finishes. "Standard protocol."

Addison nods. "Well, thank you for watching them-"

"What are you doing with them overnight?"

"We haven't really figured that out yet. I guess Mark will stay here with Cece and I'll take these two back to the hotel?"

"I can take them," Derek offers.

Addison and Mark exchange a concerned glance. "Shouldn't you be with Riley? They should be starting the transplant soon," Addison says.

"Meredith's with her. She'll stay overnight, it's fine. You two should be here." _In case something happens_.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"Okay." Addison turns to Mark. "You really should get changed, and we'll need some things. Why don't you go back to the hotel with Derek and get the girls' things for him?"

"Addison…"

"It'll be fine. What other choice do we have? It's not like we know anyone else here."

He has to admit she's right. "Fine."

She stands up and kisses Emme. "Be a good girl for Derek."

"But I don't wanna stay with him!"

"Please, baby? For Cece?"

"I wanna see her."

"Aw, love bug, they don't let kids in this part of the hospital. But you can call me before you go to bed and I'll tell you how she's doing, and if she's awake you can talk to her. How does that sound?"

It doesn't sound too good to Emme, but she tries to be brave for her mother and her lip only trembled a little as she wipes away a tear. "Okay."

"Good girl." Addison kisses her again before reaching for her purse and pulling out some money, which she tries to give to Derek. "You'll have to pick up some formula. I'm breastfeeding, and pump for when I'm not home, so we don't have any. There are one or two bottles at the hotel, but that won't get you very far."

He refuses. "Addie, I got it. It's the least I can do."

She gives him a small smile. "Thanks."

 **Winter machine, that pudding cup is for you. Don't worry, Emme "Real HospitalKid of Seattle" Shepherd is just getting warmed up.**


	16. Chapter 16

Mark drives to the hotel, Derek behind him. "Hey, Emme, you want to be my helper?" he asks once they're upstairs, and she nods solemnly. "Okay, good. I need you to watch your sister for a minute." He pats the couch, and once she's seated puts the baby on her lap, then heads for the girls' room, motioning for Derek to follow him.

"Just so you know, I hate this," Mark says as soon as they're out of earshot, his voice low and gravelly. "I'm only allowing this because we have no other choice. I'm sure Addison has already warned you, but rest assured, whatever she threatened you with will seem like a goddamn tea party compared to what I will do to you if you hurt her again. Got it?"

Derek takes a few steps back. "Yeah, got it."

Mark gives him a smile that's almost as unsettling as his threat. "Good." He grabs a bag and starts filling it with pajamas and a few changes of clothing for each girl, then adds a couple of nighttime pull-up diapers. "Emme's been wetting the bed a lot lately," _because of you, you sorry excuse for a father_ , he thinks, "so you might want her to wear these. But don't make a big deal about it, because she gets really embarrassed. And this," he holds up a plush lamb that has seen better days, "is Clover. It looks like trash, but it's not. It is sacred. You guard it with your life, because if it disappears, the world will end. And I'm not kidding." He tucks it into the bag, along with Emme's ratty blankie and a small crib quilt for Angelina. "Annie goes down around seven, and she'll usually wake up to eat between eleven and midnight but after that she'll sleep til about six. Emme's bedtime is seven-thirty, but we've been pretty lenient with that since we've been here. Bedtime is up to you, but don't let her stay up too late or she gets overtired and weepy and you'll never get her to sleep...trust me, you don't want to go there."

In the bathroom he grabs Emme's toothbrush, toothpaste, a tube of teething gel, and a bottle of Tylenol. "Emme's still having a little bone pain from the shots. If she complains she can have some of this, if not don't worry about it. Now, Annie's second tooth just came in. She shouldn't have any more coming in for a while, but I'll throw this in just in case."

They return to the living room and Mark takes the baby. "Emme, why don't you pick out a few books and toys to take with you?"

Emme slides off the couch and wraps herself around Mark's legs. "But I don't wanna go with him. I wanna go with you."

He disentangles himself and squats down. "I know, love bug, but they don't let kids visit the part of the hospital where Cece is. Plus Derek needs help taking care of Annie. You can do that, right?"

Emme nods and gives him a teary response. "Yeah."

"Good girl. Now go pick out some toys."

While she's doing that he gets changed and packs a bag for the hospital, then goes to the fridge. "I don't know what you have in the house for food, but I'm guessing not much right now. Emme likes these, but really she'll eat just about anything," he tells Derek as he packs some applesauce and yogurt pouches in a small insulated bag, along with two bottles. "Like Addison said, this is all we have for breast milk right now. Annie's never had formula, so I don't even know what kind to tell you to get. Good luck with that."

Finally Mark is convinced that they have everything they need (Derek thinks they might have enough stuff for a week), and they go downstairs. They move Emme and Angelina's car seats to Derek's Jeep and Mark smothers both girls in hugs and kisses before buckling them in. "Okay, you be a good girl, Emme. Take care of your sister and I'll see you tomorrow," he says before Derek pulls away, and Emme waves tearfully to Mark until he's out of sight.

…..

Mark returns to the hospital to find Cecilia in her room, Addison seated next to her. She's still intubated but she's been cleaned up, three stitches closing a small gash on her left temple, two more on her lip. "That's it?"

He'd been expecting worse, and Addison laughs a little. "That's it." They're doctors, they both know that head wounds - even small ones - bleed a lot, but all that goes out the window when your child is the patient.

He gets close to examine the sutures. "Not too bad," he admits, though he's sure he could do better. "Do they have the test results yet?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing yet." She reaches for his hand and pulls him close. "You know this isn't your fault, right? She fell. Kids fall. Things happ-"

"Not to Cece."

She squeezes his hand. "Even to Cece. These things happen. We can't just put her in a bubble and protect her from everything. And she probably fell because of the seizure, not the other way around, so even if she hadn't fallen, she'd still be here. There's nothing you could have done to prevent that."

He bends down and kisses the top of her head, then pulls up a chair and they sit hand in hand to wait on the test results.

…..

The baby looks ready to fall asleep, so Derek decides grocery shopping can wait and heads for home. She's out like a light by the time they get there. Unfortunately, they're greeted by a very excited red setter the second they step through the door, and there's no way she's sleeping through the ear-splitting shrieking that ensues as Emme attempts to escape the overzealous canine.

 _Damn it, I forgot about that._ "Sully, come here! Sit!" He sets the baby on the couch and takes the dog to the back yard to chain him up. "Sorry, boy. It's just for a little while," he promises, and scratches his head a bit before a disturbing thought crosses his mind. _When do babies start rolling over? Shit. Mark's really tonight kill me if Annie falls off the couch._ He runs inside and thankfully finds her right where he left her, arms and legs flailing angrily. He picks up the crying baby and heads for the stairs. "I'm going to put your sister down for a nap. I'll be right back down," he tells Emme, who is still taking refuge behind the easy chair, before carrying Angelina to the nursery. He sits in the rocking chair and glances around. Everything looks the same as it did that morning when Riley woke up with a fever, purple bruises dotting her little body, and a trip to the pediatrician turned into a hospital admission. Her stuffed animals still line the crib, minus a few favorites that made the trip to Seattle Grace with her, and colorful blocks are scattered on the floor in one corner. The hamper is half-filled with clothes she'll probably outgrow by the time she comes home.

Finally the baby is asleep and Derek gently sets her in the crib. He comes downstairs and finds Emme studying the framed photos lining the walls of the hallway. He stops behind her and smiles at the one that currently holds her attention. Meredith is wearing a bright orange t-shirt with a grinning jack o'lantern face placed strategically over the swell of her belly and he's kissing her cheek, one arm wrapped around her shoulders. _We were so happy._ _We had no idea what was in store for us._

Emme presses one small finger to the glass, traces the toothy pumpkin grin. "That's Riley."

Her voice is so soft he almost thinks he imagined it. "Yeah, it is."

The next picture is from Thanksgiving. They're huddled on the couch in cozy sweaters, a days-old Riley - still red and wrinkly, limbs folded close to her body - asleep on Derek's chest; they look exhausted, but are bursting with pride. After that comes Christmas, the happy couple in front of the tree with Riley tucked into a quilted stocking lovingly sewed by his mother - all the grandchildren have one except Emme, of course - and embroidered with her name. They look slightly less exhausted and even happier than before, if that's even possible, and he wonders how it was just a year and a half ago when the last few months have seemed like an eternity, an infinite hell no parent should endure.

Emme sighs. "You wanted her." She swipes at the Halloween photo one last time, sending it crashing to the floor, and wanders away, eventually settling in the overstuffed easy chair.

Those three words cut like a knife. He picks up the frame, glass now cracked, and takes a few deep breaths before following her.

Emme gives him a look that rips his heart out. "You weren't there when I was in mommy's tummy. You didn't want me." Her chin quivers and, despite her best efforts to _be a good girl_ , the tears come.

He reaches over to brush them away, but she slaps angrily at his hand. "Emme-" he starts, but she jumps out of the chair and stares him down.

"Don't touch me! I don't want you. I want _my_ daddy." Derek isn't her daddy, he's Riley's daddy. He _wanted_ Riley. "You didn't want me," she belts out, and suddenly she's grabbing anything in reach - coasters, a scented candle, Riley's family of Fisher Price Little People that have been sitting untouched on the coffee table for over two months - and chucking it at him with everything she has.

He lets her have at it and prays nothing gets broken as he protects his face with one arm. When she runs out of things to throw she flips the table on its side with a savage growl, then crumbles into a sad, sobbing little heap on the floor, tears pelting the carpet like raindrops. He gives her a moment, then sits cross-legged next to her. Eventually she runs out of steam and swipes at her nose with the sleeve of her expensive-looking navy and cream French sailor's shirt, still coughing and sputtering. He grabs a handful of tissues from a box crushed in her rage and offers them to her. When she doesn't take them he holds them near her face and asks, "Can I?" She doesn't grant him permission but she doesn't protest, either, so he closes the distance and wipes her nose, then holds the tissues and instructs her to blow. Surprisingly, she does.

He goes to the kitchen and gets a glass of water, which she gulps down in seconds. The table is still flipped on its side, so she looks around for somewhere to set the empty glass; eventually she gives up and just hands it to him. He brings it to the kitchen, returns to the living room, fixed the table, and resumes his spot on the sofa. He can tell she wants to talk but doesn't push it, just waits until she's ready.

She inches a little closer, folds her arms on the table and rests her chin on top of them. With furrowed brows she finally speaks. "How come you wanted Riley, but you didn't want me? Was I bad?"

"No, Emme, you weren't bad. You're not bad. I...I left New York because I was mad at your mommy. You were just starting to grow in her belly, and we didn't even know you were there yet," he explains.

She sniffs loudly. "But then she told you."

He nods. "Yes, she did."

"But you didn't want me."

"No, it's not that. I just didn't want to see your mommy, or talk to her. But you didn't do anything wrong, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."

She doesn't accept his apology, or even acknowledge it, just sniffs again and stares at him with sad eyes until they hear the baby crying.

He changes Angelina's diaper, then Emme insists on giving her a bottle. With the baby fed and happy he grabs the diaper bag and they head out for dinner since there's nothing in the fridge, freezer, or pantry that can be thrown together for a decent meal.

He lets Emme choose, and they end up at a barbeque place; surely Addison will chastise him later for the stains on Emme's shirt, but it's worth it to watch her dig into a plate of ribs with reckless abandon. When the waitress asks if they want dessert he says yes. She brings a dessert menu and adds that their special of the day is strawberry shortcake. Emme doesn't even need to look at the menu.

"I want that!"

"You don't want cake? Or a brownie?"

"I want strawberry shortcake."

He places their order, then whispers something to the waitress. Emme's jaw drops when she brings the dessert topped with a candle, and a half dozen servers sing Happy Birthday.

After dinner they run to the grocery store for bread, milk, eggs, juice, and baby formula. By the time they get home it's almost seven, so they feed the baby and get her ready for bed. He wouldn't mind letting Emme stay up, but she looks pretty beat so he shows her to the guest room and helps her into her pajamas, then takes her to the bathroom to brush her teeth. On the way back He points out his room. "That's where I'll be if you need anything."

He has her tucked in with her blankie and lamb and is about to read her a bedtime story when she makes a request. "Can we call mommy?"

He says yes and dials Addison.

"Hey. How are the girls?"

"So far, so good. Emme wants to say goodnight." He hands the phone over and Emme asks about Cecilia before saying goodnight to both parents.

"So, how's Cecilia?" he asks once she returns the phone.

"CT and MRI came back clear, and the EEG isn't showing any more seizure activity, but she's still intubated and hasn't woken up yet."

"She was seizing for almost ninety minutes, Addie. They pumped a lot of drugs into her that have a sedative effect and cause respiratory depression. That's normal at this point. It's just going to take a while to get it out of her system. Try not to worry too much."

They hang up a few minutes later and he discovers Emme is already asleep. _Well, that wasn't so bad_ , he thinks. _Could have been a lot worse_. He adjusts the covers and tiptoes out, turning on a small nightlight on the way and leaving the door open a crack.

He gets to his room and dials Meredith, who immediately asks about the girls. He fills her in, then asks about Riley.

"She's good. Slept a lot of the day."

"And the transplant went okay? I should have been there."

"No, you were right where you needed to be," she insists. "And it was very anti-climatic anyways. She slept right through it!"

"True, it doesn't quite have the urgency of a heart transplant, I guess." They laugh a little and hang up, and he gets ready for bed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey guys. I know I said I was going to write a few chapters ahead to post while I was gone. That was the plan, but people plan and God laughs. Didn't happen. Sorry. So here I am recovering from a very busy (but also very fun) long weekend and trying to get this done for my designated nagger before she dies waiting for me to update.**

As expected, the baby wakes up right around eleven. Derek makes a bottle and feeds her; just as Mark said she would, she goes right back down afterwards, and he goes to bed hoping for a decent night's sleep.

Less than an hour later, however, he's woken by the sound of crying. It's not coming from the baby monitor, though. He steps into the hall and finds Emme looking very disoriented and distraught. She stammers something about not being able to find the bathroom; at least that's what he _thinks_ she's saying - her wet pajamas and the puddle on the floor certainly support that thought.

"Emme, it's okay. It was just an accident, no big deal," he soothes to no avail as he steers her towards the bathroom.

"I want to go home," she demands as he runs a bath. It comes out more like _ahwangoome_ but there's no mistaking her intent.

He starts tugging her pajama top over her head. She does nothing to assist him but doesn't protest, either. "I know, sweetie, but you can't right now. Let's just get you cleaned up."

"I want my mommy. Call my mommy."

"Emme, it's very late. We can't call her now," he argues gently, but she's crying so hard he's afraid she's going to make herself sick. "Okay, okay," he gives in, "get in the tub and we'll call her."

She stares at her PICC line. "But I can't get this wet!" she reminds him, as if he's an idiot.

"I know. We'll be careful," he insists. She makes no move to follow his directions so he picks her up and sits her in the tub, then goes to retrieve his phone. He decides to text Addison first, thinking she won't be amused if her phone rings and wakes Cecilia up - if she's regained consciousness, that is.

 _Hey, you awake?_

She answers almost immediately, as he expected; he still knows her well enough to know she's probably not getting any sleep tonight. _Yeah, what's wrong?_

 _Emme had an accident and she's pretty upset. She wants to call you._

 _I'll call you. Give me a minute._

Sure enough, his phone rings a minute later and he hands the phone to Emme. "Mommy, come get me!" she demands as soon as the phone is in her hand.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"I wanna go home!"

"I know, love bug, but Cece's still sick. I have to stay here with her tonight."

"But I miss you. Come get me!"

"I can't, baby. Cece needs me here right now, but Derek will bring you here in the morning." She fails to mention that Emme has to be at the hospital in the morning to have her PICC line removed. "Can you be a brave girl for mommy?"

"I don't wanna be brave any more. I wanna go home."

"I know, but I need you to be brave just this last time. If Cece's still here tomorrow, daddy will stay here with her and I'll go back to the hotel with you, okay? Please be a brave girl for me tonight."

"But I miss you."

"I miss you too, but it's not too long until morning."

After a few more minutes of pleading Emme finally gives in and Addison says goodnight. Derek washes Emme and brings her back to her room. Mark had only packed one pair of pajamas for her so he pulls a t-shirt over her head and holds out one of the pull ups. She'd refused to wear one earlier, insisting that she wasn't a baby, but she doesn't put up a fight this time.

Derek makes sure she has Clover and her blankie, and sits with her until she's asleep. He cleans up the puddle in the hallway and sneaks back to his room, but his head has barely touched the pillow when Angelina starts crying.

"You're supposed to sleep through the night," he grumbles as he shuffles into the nursery to discover she has spit up all over herself and the crib. Twenty minutes later he has her cleaned up - and himself, as she had proceeded to spit up down the front of his t-shirt as well - and the sheets changed, and dares to hope for a few hours of sleep.

…..

Addison is in the lobby catching up on her emails when Derek gets there the next morning. She hears them before she sees them and glances up to find her ex-husband looking drawn and bleary-eyed as Angelina wails; both girls have been up for the day since five thirty, and he definitely looks worse for the wear.

"Rough night?" she asks. She stands up and reaches for the baby, but Emme hurls herself at her legs so she stoops down to hug the five-year-old first.

"Bit of advice - I'd avoid formula if I were you," he suggests gruffly.

"Why? She wouldn't take it?"

He's about to answer when the baby spits up all over his shirt. "Oh, she'll drink it, but it doesn't seem to agree with her. Had to change her - and the crib sheet - four times since midnight. And do laundry because she spit up on everything Mark packed for her."

She looks slightly guilty. "I am so sorry," she gushes as she disentangles herself from Emme and takes the baby.

"Don't be. It's fine."

"If it was Emme I probably wouldn't, because - let's face it - you owe me for five years of sleepless nights. But this one's not even yours."

"Still. We can never repay you for what you've done so really, don't worry about it."

She takes a minute to clean the baby up the best she can and looks down at Emme. "Were you a good girl for Derek?"

Emme gives Derek a worried glance, which doesn't escape Addison, but he speaks up before she can ask anything else. "She was very good," he assures her, and Emme breathes a sigh of relief.

"Okay. Well, thank you for keeping them. I don't know what we would have done without you."

"Do you want me to take them tonight?" he offers. "I can pretty much guarantee Cecilia won't be discharged until tomorrow, at the earliest."

"Thanks, but Mark's going to take them after Emme gets the PICC line out, and then I'll stay at the hotel with them tonight."

"Are you sure? It's no trouble."

"I'm sure. I promised Emme I'd stay with her tonight. Besides, you should be with Riley. We've kept you away long enough."

"Okay, but call me if you need anything."

"I will."

…..

Addison feeds the baby while Emme's PICC line is removed, then passes the girls off to Mark. She keeps watch over Cecilia, who's still pretty groggy and spends half the day sleeping, while Mark takes the other two back to the hotel. Before bedtime they switch places, and as soon as both girls are sleeping Addison calls Derek.

"Okay, so what did Emme do? I saw that look she gave you this morning," she asks as soon as he picks up.

"Nothing! She was an angel, I swear!"

"You're a liar. And not a very good one."

"Okay, she got a little upset when we got to the house. She threw a few things, and might have tipped the coffee table over…" he finally admits. "She was fine after that, though, I promise." He's not quite telling the truth, as Emme had woken up grumpy and thrown a small fit over breakfast, but he had managed to diffuse it fairly quickly.

She has to stifle a laugh. "Yeah, that's pretty much what she did...that day." She pauses, and her voice turns somber. "She's never been like this before, though. She never loses her temper. Ever. She has a lot of feelings to work through, but doesn't really have the words to express how she feels, so I guess...I guess this is our new normal, for a while, anyways."

He sighs. "I am so sorry. I swear to God, I did not mean to tell her like that. I just...panicked. I was so worried about Riley, and it just came out. I would take it back if I could."

"But you can't. What's done is done. And who knows, she might have reacted the same way if I had told her. But we'll never know. All we can do now is love and support her and be patient until she comes to terms with everything."

"Feel free to send me her therapy bills."

"Oh, don't you worry. I will."

 **Okay, we're really getting close to the end. I'm thinking maybe two more chapters and the epilogue. So many unanswered questions, though! Will Riley's transplant be successful? Will Cecilia be okay? Will Addison keep the baby? Will Addison and Mark accept Richard's offer? Will Derek and Emme part on good terms? Here's your last chance to weigh in, so hit that review button and let me know what you think!**


	18. Chapter 18

The next morning Addison heads to the hospital; since Cecilia was discharged from the PICU the previous evening and moved to pediatrics, Emme and Angelina are allowed to visit.

They arrive to find Cecilia perched on her bed holding court over Mark and a gaggle of doctors, nurses, and aides, all of whom appear to be utterly charmed by the animated, chatty toddler. She still looks tired and her curls are hopelessly tangled and matted, but she's a far cry from the groggy, disoriented girl Addison had left the night before.

"No! Want da _wed_ one!" she's informing an aide who is offering an orange popsicle when she spots her mother and sisters. The aide scurries off in search of a red popsicle, leaving room at the bedside for Addison to squeeze in amongst her daughter's admirers. "Mama! Yook! Got a owie. Poor Cece," she says, her voice adorably raspy, before sticking her lip out in the cutest pout Addison has ever seen as the crowd slowly filters out of the room.

"Aw, I know, baby. I'm sorry."

"C'mere, mama." Cecilia beckons Addison closer with one hand. "Kiss da owie!"

Addison is only too happy to comply. "All better?" she asks once she's gently kissed her daughter's stitched lip.

"Dis one too!" Cecilia orders and points to her forehead.

"Okay, okay, _now_ are you better?" she inquires after another kiss.

Cecilia nods. "All better! Go home now?"

"Oh, I don't know, baby," Addison says and looks to Mark for an update. "We still on track for discharge today?"

He shakes his head. "She had a seizure last night after they finished weaning her off the midazolam, and another one this morning - no big deal, they didn't have to use any rescue meds so don't panic," he stresses, noting the worry on her face. "There's nothing wrong as far as anyone can tell, the doc thinks she might be going through a growth spurt and just needs her regular meds upped a little. He adjusted the dosages and as long she doesn't have any more seizures he says she's good to go tomorrow."

Before Addison can reply the aide returns. "Look what I found for you, sweet pea. Is this what you want?

"Yes, I want da wed one!" Cecilia squeals as she reaches for the red popsicle. "Dank you!" she adds when Mark reminds her to use her manners.

Addison settles into a chair by the bed and raises one perfectly arched eyebrow at her husband. "So, popsicles for breakfast?"

"She does have an owie," he points out. "And her throat still hurts from being intubated. Who's gonna say no to that?"

"Please tell me she ate a real breakfast first."

"Well, the scrambled eggs were apparently not to her liking but she did sweet talk the aide into bringing her a second fruit cup. And Jell-o."

She laughs. "That sounds like the Cece we know and love. I guess it's better than nothing."

Once the popsicle is gone Addison sends Mark to the hotel for a shower and a few hours of sleep, then takes the girls to the playroom.

"Oh, good walking! Way to go!" Cecilia cheers as she propels herself down the hall with a walker someone rustled up from PT, eliciting a chorus of laughter from everyone within earshot. That only eggs her on, and she grins as she continues to heap on the shameless self-praise until they reach their destination.

Once there, she directs Addison and Emme in some sort of game that requires the use of some blocks, a half dozen My Little Pony figures, and a small drum. Both go along willingly, and she's blissfully unaware that no one understands the rules - which they suspect she's making up as she goes - but her. No one argues when she decides the game is over and declares herself the winner.

…

By the time Mark returns, they're back in Cecilia's room. She's already had lunch - half of a grilled cheese sandwich, a bowl of peas, and two pudding cups because she convinced a nurse that one wasn't enough - and is now napping, a borrowed, rainbow-haired pony from the playroom still clutched in her right fist.

"Emme hasn't eaten yet," Addison informs him as he enters the room. "You want to take her to the cafeteria?"

"I grabbed something on the way here. You take her," he urges and takes the baby from her. "And don't forget to eat something," he adds, knowing she tends to forget when she's worried; Cece might be out of the woods, but he knows Addison is still concerned.

The weather is decent - overcast but warm and not raining - so they take their food outside to eat. Addison is done eating and Emme is on the outskirts of the patio tossing chunks of the crust from her sandwich to a flock of pigeons when Derek appears.

"Hey, you're still here?" he asks as he takes a seat across from Addison. "I thought they were sending her home today."

"She had a couple seizures after they got her off the midazolam. The neurologist upped her usual meds and said she can go tomorrow if she doesn't have any more seizures."

He leans back in his chair and nods. "Not a very fun way to spend the summer."

"Oh, don't you worry about her. She's charming the pants off of everyone in pediatrics and getting everything she wants. It's not so bad. How's Riley doing?"

"Of course it's too early to know anything, but she isn't showing any signs of rejection or graft versus host, so I guess that's something."

"Yeah, that's good. And how are you and Meredith doing? Are you…"

"We're working on it. Going to try marriage counseling, starting tomorrow."

She smiles a bit. "So you _do_ listen to me sometimes." She pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath. "Okay, so, we'll be going back to New York soon, and as long as you're here I think maybe we should work some things out before we do."

"Okay."

"Derek...I know you want to be Emme's dad, but you're not. Not yet. She doesn't _really_ know you, and you don't really know her, either. And it was stupid of me not to do this before, but we need to make arrangements for her...legal arrangements...in case something happens to me."

"Okay," he repeats, stretching it out this time, as he wonders exactly what it is she's getting at.

"So here's the thing. You don't know her. Mark does. She loves him, she trusts him, and she feels safe with him. If anything happens to me, I want her to stay with him. I want him to make decisions for her."

He nods slowly. "That sounds...like it would be in her best interests," he finally admits, even though it hurts a bit.

"But that doesn't mean I don't want you to be a part of her life," she adds. "You can't just forget about her now that Riley's had the transplant. She already has enough issues to put at least one therapist's kids through college. You might not be her favorite person right now, but I don't want to know what it would do to her if you abandoned her now."

"I'm not going to abandon her, took me a long time - way, _way_ too long, I'll admit. - but I'm in this now. I am. I want to make it up to her. And you."

"That's good. It might be a while before you get to see her again. Mark and I...have a lot going on right now. There's no way we'll be back here any time soon, and I'm not putting her on a plane all by herself. And I know you won't be leaving Seattle any time soon with Riley being sick. But you can call her, or do Face Time, or whatever. Don't just drop off the face of the earth."

"I'm not going to disappear."

"You better not. It's bad enough that one day she's going to put two and two together and realize that you only called me so she could help Riley. At least it might soften the blow a little if you show some interest in her life...act like you care about her beyond her ability to provide stem cells that match those of the kid you did want."

"I can do that. I _want_ to do that. Really."

"Good. So, you do that, and once things settle down we can talk about...visitations."

He smiles at that. "Okay."

Emme runs out of bread to feed the birds and returns to the table. She's visibly nervous to find Derek there. "I don't have to go to his house again, do I?" she asks bluntly as she climbs up in Addison's lap.

"No, you don't have to go to his house. He just stopped to say hi and see how Cece's doing."

She relaxes a bit hearing this. "Okay, good."

Derek stands up. "Well, I should be getting back to Riley now. Let us know when you're leaving."

"I will."

"Bye, Emme," he says, and is surprised when she gives him a half smile and a wave.


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay guys, this was** _ **supposed**_ **to be up yesterday, but my star reviewer Patsy (love you, even if you did threaten to tar and feather me…) has been requesting more MerDer/Riley. I really wasn't planning on it, because how much can you say about a sick baby in the hospital, but I hate to let my readers down so I gave it a shot. Ended up not being much Meredith, sorry. I tried.**

The next morning Derek is in the rocking chair with Riley, longing for the days when she was up to doing anything else. The day before she felt well enough to sit on a blanket on the floor and play with her blocks, if only for a few minutes, but today all she wants to do is cuddle, so that's what they do. They go through a stack of books, watch a few episodes of Sesame Street, and he's singing her favorite nursery,rhyme when two masked but familiar faces appear at the door.

"Hey, you're still here," he notes when Addison and Emme enter.

"Not for long. Mark is filling out the discharge paperwork as we speak, and hopefully we'll be able to catch a flight home tomorrow," Addison informs him, sounding much more relaxed than she has the last few days, while Emme stares at Riley; Derek can only see her eyes, but they're identical to her mother's when she's concerned.

"Not that you're in a rush to leave," he teases.

"Well, it's been grand," Addison says with more than a hint of sarcasm, "but Cecilia's missed way too much therapy, _and_ has a cardiology appointment on Monday, Mark really needs to get back to work, and we owe someone one hell of a birthday party, so yes, we're in a bit of a rush. But Emme wanted to see Riley bef-"

"No I didn't!" Emme looks a little angry as she contradicts her mother.

Addison squats down next to Emme. "Honey, she's your sister. You're not going to see her for a long time, so you should say goodbye. Go give her a hug."

Emme shuffles forward reluctantly as Addison gives her a light shove in Derek's direction, but stops a little short and studies her sister. Her nostrils are crusted with blood from a nosebleed, and there's an emesis basin within reach. She still looks peaked, with dark circles under her eyes. "She's still sick. I thought I was gonna make her better."

"Emme, you-"

She cuts Derek off, her voice rising in pitch anxiously. "Why is she still sick? I was supposed to make her better!"

"Emme-"

"I wanna go home!" Suddenly Emme is back at Addison's side, clinging to her legs as tears spill down her cheeks and soak the mask obscuring most of her face. "He's gonna get mad! I wanna go!"

"Emme, I'm not mad. Nobody is mad," Derek insists, though his words fall on deaf ears as Emme sobs.

"Honey, stop it," Addison orders as she gets back down to her daughter's level. "He's not mad. Why would he be mad?"

"Because I'm not good enough! She's supposed to get better but she's not! He's gonna yell at me again. Idon'twanthimtoyell _pleasedon'tlethimyellatme,_ "she pleads, her words running together as she nears hysteria. " _I'msorryI'mnotgoodenoughpleasedon'tgetmadatme._ "

Addison shoots Derek an icy glare. "Did you get mad at her when she was with you?"

"No! I told you, everything went fine! I don't know what she's talking about!"

"Okay, honey, when did Derek tell at you?"

"You know! When the doctor was talking…"

"Em, he wasn't yelling at you. He was mad at daddy and me. Not you. And he's not mad at you now either, okay? Honey, you really need to calm down. Please? Come on, deep breaths," Addison urges as she rubs Emme's back, afraid the girl is going to make herself sick from crying so hard.

It takes a few minutes, and both adults cringe as Emme chokes and gags, but eventually she manages to calm down without throwing up.

"That's a good girl," Addison soothes as she brushes Emme's dark hair out of her face. She pulls the girl's mask off, rules be damned, and grabs a wad of tissues to wipe her nose. "It's okay. Nobody is mad."

"I'm not mad," Derek repeats and pats his vacant knee. "Come here."

"It's okay. Go," Addison urges after putting Emme's mask back on.

She approaches him cautiously and stands at his side rather than climbing on his lap. Derek notes sadly that she flinches a little when he reaches out to stroke her hair. "Emme, I'm sorry I got mad that day. I was worried about Riley. I wasn't mad at you, and I shouldn't have yelled. And I'm sorry I made you feel like you're not good enough, because you are. You're the bravest girl I know, and the best big sister ever."

She looks up at him with red-rimmed eyes, still sniffling a little. "But how come she's still sick?"

"She had to take medicine to kill the bad stuff in her body, and that's what is making her sick right now. She's still going to feel icky for a while. And it's going to take a while for your stem cells to start growing in her body and making her better, but they will. She'll get better."

"For real?"

"For real. Now, can I get a hug?"

Emme nods and scoots between Derek's knees before leaning in and wrapping one arm around him and the other around Riley.

"Aww."

Everyone looks up to see Meredith in the doorway. "Everything okay?" she asks, taking in Emme's bloodshot eyes.

"She's fine. Apparently she expected Riley to be all better now that she got the transplant, and she got a little upset that she's not. She's...kind of a sensitive little soul."

"Poor honey. So, what brings you two over here? They springing Cecilia today?"

"They are. We'll be out of here as soon as Mark finishes the paperwork, and we're hoping to fly out tomorrow."

"Oh! Well, we should do something tonight, before you go! I mean, Cece just got out of the hospital so maybe going out isn't a great idea, but you guys could come over. We'll order a pizza, or whatever the kids like."

"I don't know, we have to pack…"

"Oh, come on. Just for a little while?" Derek begs.

"Fine. Just for a little while." Suddenly Addison's phone beeps. "That's Mark. They're downstairs waiting."

Derek stands up and passes Riley to Meredith. "I'll walk you out. I'm headed home now."

They make their way to the lobby with Emme between them, holding both of their hands. Mark is waiting with Cecilia on his lap and Angelina in the stroller gnawing on a teething ring.

Cecilia waves to Derek. "Hey you! C'mere!" she orders, and grins when he drops to his haunches in front of her. "I got a owie!" she informs him as she points to her forehead.

"Yes, I see that."

"Kiss it!"

He cracks up and Mark shrugs. "Everyone else in the building has, don't think you're special or anything."

Derek follows his orders, and luckily Cecilia is distracted by an ambulance screaming by before she can order him to kiss her other owie. "Oh! It's _loud!"_

"I know it is. You got to ride in one."

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did, when you got your owie."

"I wanna ride again!"

"Oh, no. No more ambulance rides for you."

…..

They arrive at the Shepherd house around five-thirty. Emme cowers behind Mark as he reaches for the doorbell. "Emme, what's wrong?" Addison asks.

"I don't want the dog to get me!"

Addison thinks back to the night she was here. "Honey, they don't have a dog."

"Yes they do! His name is Sullivan!" Emme insists before Derek opens the door, then returns to her hiding spot behind Mark.

"Come on in," Derek says warmly before crouching down. "Don't worry, Emme. Sully is outside."

She visibly relaxes and follows her parents inside. They find Meredith in the kitchen making a salad. "Hi! Just ordered the pizza. It'll be here in half an hour. The kids can play in the living room until then."

Emme takes off with her parents behind her. Mark sets Cecilia down in the corner of the room clearly designated as the play area, and Addison lays the baby on a blanket with a teething ring and rattle. "Keep an eye on her, okay Em?"

Emme nods and starts digging in the toy box. Mark and Addison return to the kitchen where Meredith is pouring three glasses of wine and one of sparkling water, which she passes to Addison.

Derek's eyes drift briefly to her still-flat midsection. "You, uh, gave up drinking?"

She takes a sip of the water and clears her throat. "We're, um...we're not discussing it right now."

"Okay, then." Derek shifts uncomfortably and is about to change the subject when they hear Cecilia yelling.

She had been playing with Riley's Fisher Price Little People doll house when a series of barks grabbed her attention, and she scooted over to the sliding glass door that looks out on the back deck. "Oh! Oh! Doggie! Mama, yook! Hi doggie, hiiiiiiiiii!" she's squealing, followed by some very intense barking of her own, as the adults filter into the room.

Addison peers out at the red setter tied up in the yard. "Oh, that looks like a nice doggie."

Derek squats down next to them. "That's Sullivan. You want to go see him?"

"Oh yes! See doggie!"

"Here, can you hold this?" Derek asks, offering her a neon orange squeaky ball, which she eagerly accepts. "That's his favorite toy." He gets to his feet and reaches down; without hesitation she holds her arms up and lets him pick her up.

Addison watches until Derek is seated on the edge of the deck with Cecilia on his lap, then falls into the couch next to Meredith. "You know, I didn't even know you had a dog until we got here and Emme said something."

"He gets a little excited when company comes over so he was already out that night. And Derek told me Emme's not a fan so we made sure to put him out before you got here."

After about fifteen minutes of Sullivan chasing the ball - he's enthusiastic every time although Cecilia scarcely throws it more than a few yards away - they see Derek jump up and run for the door, a concerned looking Cecilia dangling by her armpits from his outstretched arms. "Mama, it's not toots!" she announces in a panic when Meredith opens the door, and Addison gasps when she sees what is running down her daughter's legs - and smeared on her ex-husband's pants.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry!" she gushes as she reaches for Cecilia.

"Just get out of the way," he orders and brushes by her. He practically runs down the hall to the bathroom and sets her in the tub, Addison hot on his heels with the diaper bag. "So, do your kids take pleasure in ruining _everyone's_ clothes, or is this something special they only do for me?" He almost sounds angry, but when she looks at him his blue eyes are twinkling; they both crack up when another rumble comes from the toddler's bottom.

"No, it's definitely just you," she teases, then grumbles as she kneels down to tackle the blowout. "I _told_ Mark going to McDonald's for lunch was a bad idea. Oh God, I don't even know where to start. Um, here, just help me get her dress off without getting it in her hair and I'll be good."

"I'm pretty,sure McDonald's is _always_ a bad idea," he quips as they remove the soiled garment. "You have something to change her into?"

"Oh yeah. We don't leave the house without extra clothes."

"Okay. Well, I'm gonna go get changed. You need Mark?"

"No, I got this."

…..

By the time Cecilia is clean the pizza has arrived, and everyone is seated at the table. "Is she okay?" Meredith asks with concern as Addison gets her buckled into Riley's highchair.

"Oh, she's fine. I think we'll be avoiding fast food for a while, though."

"You think pizza is a good idea?"

"At this point I don't think it matters. She probably won't eat much of it anyways."

"I can get her something else."

"Meredith, relax! She'll be fine."

Derek waits for everyone to settle down, then raises his glass. "I propose a toast. To bravest, best big sister ever, and to her parents for letting her be here."

They all raise their glasses. "Cheers!"

…..

When they finish eating Derek collects the plates and brings them to the kitchen, then returns with a chocolate-frosted cake with rainbow sprinkles, adorned with a "5" candle and five regular candles.

"Is that for _me_?" Emme gasps. She grins when Derek sets it in front of her, and doesn't stop the entire time they're singing Happy Birthday.

When Emme's done with her cake Meredith hands her an envelope. "This is from me, Derek, and Riley."

Emme tears the envelope open. "Look mommy! It's American Girl!" she squeals when a gift card falls out.

"We couldn't buy you any presents, or your mom would get mad that she has to pack them," Derek teases with a wink at Addison, "but you can pick something out with that when Aunt Savvy takes you shopping."

Emme throws her arms around his neck and kisses his cheek, then squeals _thank you_ before running to the other side of the table.

…..

While the adults clean up and get the little ones ready to go, Emme runs down the hall to the bathroom. On the way back something catches her eye - among the pictures of Riley hanging on the wall is one of herself, smiling in her dance costume. She sees movement out of the corner of her eye and turns to see Derek. "That's me!" she announces happily.

"Yes, it is." He approaches her and kneels down next to her. "I know I wasn't a good dad to you before, and I'm sorry, but you're my little girl and I do love you, just like I love Riley. I'm really glad your mommy and daddy let you come out here to see us."

She leans into him and puts an arm around his shoulder. "You know what I wished for?"

"You're not supposed to tell anyone, or-"

She ignores him. "That Riley gets better soon, an' I can come back here an' play with her."

He scoops her up and hugs her. "I hope so, too."

…..

"So, you knew about the baby," Derek says to Meredith once the Montgomery-Sloan family has left.

"I did."

"But you didn't say anything."

She shrugs. "Wasn't my story to tell."

"They don't seem too happy about it."

"They have a lot going on. Annie's still so little, and Cecilia's having her ASD repaired next month, then surgery to correct the contracture in her foot, and maybe a SDR-"

"Wait, Addison told you all that? But she didn't tell me?"

"Well, in all fairness you _were_ being McAsshole when she told me."

"Point taken. So, what about us?"

"What about us?"

"Would you be happy having another baby?"

She gives him a sly grin. "You know you have a _lot_ of making up to do, right?"

"Well, then, I guess I better get started right now."

 **Okay guys, THIS IS IT. All that remains is the epilogue. I'm a little sad to be ending this, but there are two sequels planned for the future, and probably some one-shots thrown in here and there for good measure. Let me know what you think...about this chapter, the story as a whole, what you hope to see in the epilogue and sequels, what you liked and didn't like, etc. If I get 20 reviews, I'll post the epilogue tomorrow.**


	20. Chapter 20

**One year later**

Mark pulls up to the house Addison hasn't seen in a year and they get out. He opens the back door of the minivan and frees Angelina from her car seat; her feet are moving the second they hit the ground, and he snags her by the collar of her crisp white sailor dress. "You get back here. Don't move," he orders, but as soon as his back is turned he hears a squeal of delight and the _slap slap slap_ of her little white sandals on the blacktop.

"Need a hand with anything?" Derek offers after Mark has chased Angelina halfway down the driveway, and the toddler is unceremoniously deposited in his arms.

"Take this. Put it on a leash, lock it in a cage, do whatever you gotta do. Just don't set it loose. I take no responsibility for what happens if you do," Mark deadpans as he returns to the van.

Meanwhile, Addison helps Cecilia get out on the other side. "Oh my God, look at her go!" Meredith exclaims as she emerges from the house and watches the preschooler make her way confidently to the porch with her crutches.

Addison beams. "I know! Isn't she just something else?" She waits for Meredith to reach the van and embraces her before reaching back into the van for a sleeping baby boy. She turns around at the same time that Mark appears from the other side with the boy's twin sister.

"Aw, she's so tiny!" Meredith squeals seconds before taking the infant from her father, causing Addison to laugh.

"She's twelve and a half pounds! She only looks tiny next to this chunky monkey," Addison informs her as she hefts the sixteen pound boy to her shoulder. "Look at these thighs. Rolls for days!"

"He is absolutely delicious. I could eat him right up," Meredith gushes as Derek comes to get a closer look at the twins.

"I can't believe this one was their age the last time you were here," he muses as the feisty redhead tries to squirm free.

"Ah yes, the good old days before we knew she was actually a Tasmanian devil," Mark reminisces as they make their way inside. "So, where are the guests of honor?"

"Cristina took them to the playground. I'll text her when we're ready."

"Cristina? The one who hates children?"

"She doesn't _hate_ them, exactly. She just doesn't like most of them very much. But she loves Riley, and Emme saved Riley, so by extension she loves Emme. She'll deny it, if you ask, but she does," Meredith assures Addison.

They lay the babies in a pack 'n play, turn on a movie to hopefully entertain Cecilia and Angelina for a few minutes, and return to the van for fruit and veggie trays, balloons, and presents. "Thank you so much for doing this," Addison says as she slams the van door shut.

"Well, you did just fly in less than twenty-four hours ago to a house that isn't exactly ready for a party. It's the least we can do, especially since Emme had such a lousy birthday last year. And we were going to have Riley's re-birthday party anyways, so might as well kill two birds with one stone."

"So she has no clue about any of this?"

"Not at all. I did almost let it slip this morning, though," Meredith admits. "She was so upset that you were going to miss her birthday that I almost told her."

Addison feels slightly guilty. Emme had spent the last two weeks with the Shepherds after flying out with Mark for a final inspection of the house they had built a few miles down the road from Derek's piece of land. They had told her they'd be arriving the following week to move in, wanting to surprise her for her birthday.

"I'm sure she'll forgive you," Meredith insists before changing the subject. "So, how was your flight?"

Addison groans. "I don't want to talk about it."

"A six hour flight with four kids under the age of four, none of whom are toilet trained, one of whom is teething _and_ getting over an ear infection...how do you think it went?" Mark adds with a chuckle. "We were definitely the least popular passengers, and I'm pretty sure Annie has been added to the no-fly list."

Derek glances over at Angelina. "Don't worry. I don't believe a word he's saying," he tells her, and she rewards him with an angelic smile - then blows raspberries in his direction and swipes a stack of medical journals off the coffee table with a gleeful laugh; in the short time it had taken the adults to unload the van she had managed to pull every book off the shelf in the play area and empty the toy box. "Okay, on second thought maybe I do…"

"Hurricane Annie at it again," Addison mutters as she kneels down to straighten the mess. "Leaves a path of destruction wherever she goes. I swear, this one is going to give me gray hair."

"Going to? Don't act like you're not at the salon every three weeks getting your roots touched up," Mark taunts as he helps Derek hang streamers while Meredith fusses with the rest of the decorations.

"Oh yeah? Well, have _you_ looked in a mirror recently, old man?" she throws back as Derek and Meredith share an amused glance.

"I don't look old! I look _distinguished_."

"Whatever you say, _old man,_ " Addison concedes as she rescues a picture frame from Annie's pudgy hands. "Oh my God, would you sit down and stop touching things for two minutes?" she moans, but the toddler takes off for the kitchen. Meredith follows and nabs her just before she grabs a fistful of kibble from the dog dish in the corner.

"Daddy, when's Emme getting here?" Cecilia asks anxiously as she tugs on Mark's pant leg. The two-week separation had been particularly hard on the three-year-old.

Meredith gives the house a quick glance. "I think we're just about done. The playground is about twenty minutes away, so I'll text her now."

"So, the girls got along okay?" Addison asks once the text has been sent, recalling one late-night phone call. "Emme was really okay after the first night?"

 _After a long, early-morning flight and a day spent getting reacquainted with this part of her family, which included alternating between playing and squabbling with Riley - who took every chance she got to assert dominance in_ her _house and stake claim to_ her _father - Emme is bathed, teeth brushed, and in her pajamas. She finds Derek and Riley on Derek and Meredith's bed, ready for storytime._

 _Riley is looking rather smug, curled up in Derek's lap. "_ My _daddy," she says possessively as Emme climbs up on the bed next to them._

" _I'm Emme's dad too," Derek gently reminds her as he picks up one of the two picture books Riley selected; he figures she'll be the first one asleep, and then he'll have some one-on-one time to read with Emme._

 _Riley is still wide awake when Derek finishes her books and picks up Emme's choice,_ Charlotte's Web. _She watches warily as Emme inches closer, and strikes when Emme has the audacity to lean against Derek. "My daddy!" she repeats as a small, open hand lands on her half-sister's cheek; she's too little to inflict much pain, but Emme is clearly upset by the attack._

 _Normally Emme wouldn't fight back against any of her little sisters, but between the exhaustion of jet lag, the anxiety of being a continent away from her parents for the first time, and the struggle of finding her place among this former family of three, she's not quite herself. Without thinking she raises her hand, but before it reaches its target Derek's hand, strong and firm, is wrapped around her wrist._

 _He loves both of his girls but he's definitely overprotective of the younger one, especially with what she's been through. "Don't you_ ever _hit her," he scolds as she struggles to free herself. It comes out harsher than he intended and he loosens his grip when he sees the fear - or is it pain? Or both? - that flashes in her eyes. "Emme, wait-" he starts, but she's already pushing past Meredith in the doorway; all three of them flinch when a door slams down the hall, and Riley promptly bursts into tears._

" _You really think Emme was going to hurt her? I mean_ really _hurt her?"_

" _She's a baby," he offers up lamely._

" _She's two and a half. And she's been quite a brat today," Meredith points out as she lifts her wailing child and rests her on the swell of her belly. "I know it's hard adjusting to a sibling after being an only child, but a little reality check might not be the worst thing for her. It's okay to let them work things out between them as long as they don't get too rough."_

" _Of course you're right," he admits before planting a kiss on her forehead. "You put this one to bed and I'll go talk to her."_

 _Riley protests as Meredith carries her to her room. "No! Daddy tuck me in! Daddy tuck me in!"_

" _No, mommy's tucking you in tonight. Be a good girl. Okay?"_

 _He can still hear her yelling when he enters Emme's room and sits down next to the quivering, whimpering lump under the quilt. "Emme, come out and talk to me." He tries to pull the quilt down but she has an iron grip on it. "Emme, please."_

" _No, I'm sleeping," she insists, despite evidence to the contrary._

 _He sighs and pulls harder on the quilt. She gives in this time, and his stomach clenches when her hands move towards her face as if to protect herself; he can see bruises already forming on her pale, delicate wrist. "Emme, I'm not mad at you. I'm sorry," he says softly as he pulls her to a sitting position and grabs some tissues from the nightstand._

" _Go 'way. I wanna go to sleep," she sobs, eschewing the tissues for her sleeve. "Idon'twantyouhereIwannagotosleep."_

At least it's not "I wanna go home," _he thinks, though he's confident it will come to that at some point. "You can go to sleep in a minute," he assures her. "I'm sorry I got mad, but you can't hit Riley, okay?"_

" _But she hit me first!"_

" _I know, and she'll get a time-out if it happens again, but she's littler than you. Would your parents let you hit Annie or Cece?"_

" _Probably not," she admits, though the thought of hitting either of them has never crossed her mind. Annie, annoying as she may be these days, is still a baby, and Cece...no one hurts Cece, and she'd willingly fight anyone who tried._

" _No, they wouldn't. And I know that you wouldn't want to hurt them, or Riley. Today was a hard day, and she wasn't very nice to you most of the time, but she's not used to having a sister. I need you to be patient, and let me and Meredith deal with her when she's not being nice. Can you do that for me?"_

 _She nods and gives him a shaky "okay."_

" _Good girl. Now, do you want to read your book?"_

 _She shakes her head and rubs her watery eyes with balled-up fists. "I wanna go to sleep."_

" _Okay." He kisses the top of her head and tucks her in with her otter. "I'll see you in the morning."_

 _Around eleven he and Meredith are getting into bed when they hear a door slam. He peeks into the hall and finds Emme's door open, and the bathroom door shut. "Emme? Are you okay?" he asks after knocking on the door. She doesn't answer but he can hear her crying so he tries to open the door. "Emme, open the door, honey. What's wrong?"_

" _I wanna go home."_

" _Honey, you can't go home. Please open the door."_

" _I wanna go home! I want my mommy!"_

 _The standoff continues a few more minutes before he gives in and gets his phone. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"_

" _I have four-month-old twins,_ and _my first baby is over two thousand miles away. You think I'm sleeping? What's up?" she asks, though she can almost guarantee her anxiety-prone eldest is in meltdown mode._

" _Emme locked herself in the bathroom. I don't know why, but she's crying." A minute later he's back at the door. "Emme, your mom's on the phone. Just open the door so I can give you the phone. I won't come in, I promise._

 _There's a moment of silence before the lock clicks and the door opens a crack. She grabs the phone and slams it shut again. A muffled conversation punctuated by sniffles and hiccups ensues, and finally the door creaks open enough for her to give the phone back._

" _She had an accident. She's afraid you and Meredith will be mad at her for not wearing a pull up," Addison explains when he's back on the line. She had told Derek that Emme hadn't wet the bed in several months, but it was up to him if he wanted her to wear the pull ups at night; he'd left the decision up to Emme, knowing that either way, her new mattress was protected with a waterproof cover. "I told her to let you in."_

 _Sure enough, the door opens to reveal a red-faced, runny-nosed little girl with very wet pajamas. He's not sure he'll ever get used to Emme's anxiety-ridden, overly emotional tendencies, but reminds himself that Riley's not the only one needing a little patience at this time._

 _He sits on the edge of the tub,and pulls her close. "It's okay. It was an accident. We're never going to get mad at you over an accident. Next time just come tell us, okay?" She nods into his chest and he gives her a few minutes to calm down before getting her cleaned up and back into her bed._

"For the most part. Riley's still not thrilled about sharing her daddy, and Emme still accuses Derek of loving Riley more on occasion, but overall I'd say they get along more often than not and Emme's very sweet with Riley."

 _With Riley's immune system still not completely back to normal they rarely venture out in public, but with two stir-crazy kids bouncing off the walls they finally decide to check out a nearby carnival. When Riley pitches a fit when Meredith insists she wear a mask to protect her from germs, it's Emme who finally gets her to dry her tears._

" _Look, Riley, I'll wear one too," the almost-six-year-old says cheerfully._

" _You will?"_

" _Uh huh! We'll be twins! See?"_

 _Riley grins as Emme dons a mask, then lets Meredith put hers on, and they hold hands as they make their way to the festival._

 _Of course it's too good to last. By the time the sun begins to set after a long afternoon, both girls are tired. They hadn't brought the stroller, and Meredith's large belly and aching back only allow her to carry Riley for so long. Derek had been giving Emme a piggy back ride, but he set her on the ground and lifted Riley to his shoulders to give his wife a break. Naturally this resulted in a bout of tears and cries of "no fair!" and "you love her more than me," that only the promise of a caramel apple_ and _ice cream could halt._

 _Emme stops fussing but continues to sulk as they wait in line for ice cream; Derek admits defeat and decides they might as well just go home, but Emme redeems herself when Riley drops her ice cream._

" _It's okay, you can have mine," Emme offers as Riley's lip quivers and tears well up in her eyes. Half of the ice cream - and all of the sprinkles - is gone, but it's enough to placate the toddler._

Just minutes after they get the last decoration in place, the door opens. Emme bursts into tears as they all tell "surprise!" and runs to Addison.

"Oh, honey, why are you crying?" Addison asks as Emme cries into her shoulder.

"Because I missed you!"

"I know, but we're here now." She lets the girl cry for a minute, then sets her on the counter. "Hmm. It looks like you're missing something else, too."

Emme breaks into a grin. "My tooth fell out last night! I was eating an apple." She hops off the counter and runs around showing everyone, then asks, "Where are my babies?" Addison points to the travel crib in the corner, and she runs over and peeks in. Everett is still sleeping, but Georgia is wide awake, gumming on one fist. "Hi Gigi! Hi Ev! Mom, I think they got bigger since I saw them!"

Cecilia and Riley are clamoring for Emme's attention when Annie runs over and holds her arms up. "Emme, up!"

Emme brushes her off. "Not now. Cece, you got new glasses!"

"Yeah! They're bwoo!"

"What color are they?" Addison asks.

Cecilia treats her mother to an impressive eye roll. "Ba-loo," she says slowly, with a heavy emphasis on the "l."

"Clearly we'll continue to put the speech therapist's kid through college," Addison quips to Meredith.

"Hey Cece, you wanna see what I got at the aquarium?" Emme asks. Cecilia nods excitedly and Emme runs off.

"It better not be another freakin' otter," Addison mutters to Derek.

"It's not! No stuffed animals this time, I swear."

She comes back with a book. "It's about sea lions," she explains as she sits down on the floor. "You wanna read it?"

"Yeah!"

Cecilia climbs into Emme's lap, and Riley follows suit. "No, it's _my_ sister!" Riley screeches.

"Nuh uh! My sister!"

"No, mine!"

Riley reaches over and shoves Cecilia, and Cecilia swats her back. Before things can escalate, Annie tries to push her way between them onto her biggest sister's overcrowded lap; the girls unite and both push her away, which is met with a chorus of "Hey!" from all adults present. Mark swoops in and grabs the baby a split second before she grabs a fistful of Riley's hair in retaliation, and the women whisk the naughty toddlers to opposite corners for a time out.

Finally things settle down. Emme starts reading to her sisters, and Derek heads outside to put ribs and chicken on the grill. Meredith and Addison get side dishes set out as the guests start trickling in, and soon the house is packed with their Seattle Grace family.

Richard finds Addison and gives her a peck on the cheek. "I still can't believe you finally gave in."

"What can I say? You know the way to my heart!" Richard had offered to completely renovate the NICU, making it the most technologically advanced NICU in the country; it was slated for completion in early September when Addison would go back to work full time; meanwhile, Mark would begin work at the hospital immediately.

At dinner Derek has to laugh. Of all the places he could be, Sully has chosen to sit next to Emme. She still refuses to pet him, but every now and then she rips off a piece of chicken and tosses it to him when she thinks no one is looking.

After eating, Addison brings out a large chocolate cake. Emme lets Riley help her blow out the candles - it is her "re-birthday," after all - which leaves Cecilia in tears. "She's littler than you. Be nice!" Emme scolds, which does nothing to soothe the girl's hurt feelings.

Presents come next, with both Emme and Riley on the verge of being spoiled rotten; Emme makes up for her earlier transgression and lets Cecilia open a few.

Finally the last guest has left, and the Shepherd and Sloan families are relaxing in the living room. Emme is busy dressing her American Girl doll in a new outfit, and Everett is nursing, but the rest of the little ones have crashed. Annie is curled up next to Addison, one thumb hanging from her lips, Cecilia is passed out on Mark's lap, and Riley is sleeping with her head resting on Meredith's bump.

"You know, if anyone would have told me a year ago that we'd all be here today, I would have thought they were crazy," Mark muses as he plays with one of Cecilia's curls, stretching it out and watching it spring back into shape.

"Of anyone had told me a year ago that in three weeks I'll be operating on your kid, I would have thought they were crazy," Derek adds.

"I still think _we_ might be crazy, letting you cut into our kid," Mark jokes, earning him a punch in the arm.

"Well, crazy or not, I'm just glad we're _all_ still here," Meredith interjects as she rubs Riley's back.

Derek grins. "Yeah. Me too."

"Me too!" Emme pipes up from her spot on the floor, even though she'd only been half listening to the conversation.

Derek walks over and scoops her up. "And it's all because of you," he says as he sinks back down on the couch.

 **And that's a wrap, folks! My first ever completed story! (Okay, except a few one-shots, but those don't count, do they?) Thanks so much for sticking with it til the end. Now, a question...would you rather I start the sequel right away, or get back to one of my neglected fics? Honestly not really capable of keeping up with more than one until mid-September, so let me know what you want to see! (I think I can guess, but humor me anyways.)**


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